Sunday, July 15, 2007

Books – the next stage

Like the b******s you are you have been nominating in droves.

Here are the initial results as to what gets in the book. Some articles were nominated by almost everyone, some by most people, some by just one or two. They have been categorised as such.

There is also a partial cast list to go at the front of the book (see below) and the top-20 most read articles as of a couple of weeks ago.

The reason you are all b******s is that you have written so much and nominated so much and this took me effing ages – especially as I kept getting distracted and reading the articles (this is also my excuse for the umpty-blime typos below).

Comment if there are things you feel strongly should move class (up or down) or have been missed... We should be able to get 80-odd articles into the book.

On the boat

No Time for Games - Nestaquin
Curse of Commentators - Godlovesatheists
Reverse Angle - OffsideinTahiti
One More River - Doctorshoot
Ernest and the Boxer - The Boxer
Realism Does Not Talk - Leeroycal
Footballers - HannibalBrooks
Milkmaids…? by Zephirine
Cricket Hooligans - Margin
Big Game Fishing - Doctorshoot
I Love Lycra – Mimitig
Chanelle in all her guises

The Vaughn Tapes

Bought tickets

Peter Swan: Fighting the Past - allwell

The Day the Music Died - Kokomo

A Great English Game - Greengrass

In good time - MouthoftheMersey

Tahiti Nui Va'a - OffsideinTahiti
Kusturica on Maradona - Marcela Mora y Araujo
Woodcutters Revolution - Nestaquin
Should 2 Shots Carry? - Postern
Possum skin - Levremance
Abide with me - duncan23
100 years of the TT - MouthoftheMersey
Istanbul or bust - Ebren
Not a Boxing Classic - File
World of the Velodrome - Mimitig
Blades and Imbeciles - Ebren
Through the Looking Glass - Ebren
The Home Advantage - Doctorshoot
Things Would Never Be - Zephirine
The Velodrome - Byebyebadman
Drive of My Life - Ebren
The Dark Arts of Filippo Inzaghi - byebyebadman
A Passionate Prawn Sandwich Fan by Iddy
Feedback on the Exam by MouthoftheMersey
Your history's no good to me - Kokomo

In the queue

Want to kick the old possum skin around? - levremance
Feedback on the Exam - MotM
At home with Duckworth and Lewis - Zephirine
The Game in Europe - BlueinBetis
An Owl cries as the Blades go down - allwell
More Fun than Avenida Revolución on College Night. Maybe. - honolulu
In Celebration of Radio commentary - mimitig
Zimbo or Zimno? by MouthoftheMersey
The Meaning of Sport - Greengrass
Brave new game - tonyellis
Alan Ball. A trailblazing modern footballer - Margin
Everyone gets a smile - paulita
"Don't bother, I'm never going to understand cricket" - Ebren
Good riddance Maradona: Argentinos Juniors '85 season - Pipita
Blogoholics Anonymous - Mimitig and MouthoftheMersey
Crouching Peter, Hidden Talent - allwell
Daniel Alberto Passarella: A River Plate legend - Pipita ... duelling tangoes with paulita
Part-time fan - tonyellis
The Branston Rabids File
and counting...

Somebody loves me

Prozac nation - JB71
The Boat Race - mimitig
Would you trust Maradona to mark his own golf score? - Postern
Sports and Authority (Escape from Alcatraz) - Guitougoal
Where Are We Now? - Greengrass
Uncharitable Football - Margin
"So, Freddie…" - Zephirine
The trouble with Spurs' identity - Margin
Black et Bleu - Reemgear
My Hero - Kevin Sheedy - MouthoftheMersey
Ten things I never want to see again - MouthoftheMersey
Plissken - Phoenix from the ice
6 degrees 12 goals - Ebren
Human manager vs machine - Miro
Lack of charisma (Crespo) - pipita
How sport reflects our lives - mimi
The cerebral cortex of Ray Kale - godlovesatheists
Dock Ellis - duncan23
It's not just a game - paulita
Four British Heroes - Mimitig
Absolute Beginners Allwell
It’s Evolution Baby! File
FA Cup Final File
least-likely-scudetto-ever - Ebren
Is football tart - file
A text from Shane - lev
Tribulations of Brazil's most flamboyant defender – pipita
How much do I care about cycling? mimitig
Of course he won - Ebren

Cast list - help needed badly

I love you all very much - but after writing the first batch of these I ran out of inspiration. Who is and who is not covered is not a statement on how/how much I think of you, but simply where you were put arbritarily on the list.

Mimitig: Despite a passion for music that has seen her described a "queen of the oboe", mimi ran from the national acclaim that LSO membership would bring and took up residence in deepest darkest Scotland. Unfortunately this did little to abate her love of cycling, Ian Bell, and Rob Smyth. Rumours that her trip up north was a result of a restraining order from one of the afore-mentioned are as yet unproven.

Zeph: Lyrical screen icon and regular at London's more fashionable nightspots - Pseuds' corner's connection to the world of celebrity. Yet to understand sports other than cricket unless they involve milking things.

andrewm - Scottish blogger of good repute, attractive to cats. In love with Marcela and other exotics including offside. Sadly they are not cats.

offside: Loin-cloth-clad, cocktail-sipping Frenchman. Exiled from France at first to Ireland, he eventually got an upgrade to Tahiti - where his characteristic dress attracted fewer comments.

Margin: Operating on the fringes of society, this sword of truth penetrates straight to the black heart of the matter, eschewing convention wisdom and cliché to expose the underlying issues. He likes Spurs as well.

Mouth: An Everton-supporting, motorbike-riding, cricket-mad sports nut. As insightful as he is prolific, amusing as he is knowledgeable, Mouth has carved out a reputation as the king of the oboe to sit on a throne alongside mimi.

greengrass: If you wanted to create the perfect foil for a cocktail-swilling, loincloth-clad Frenchman in Polynesia you might not initially think of a folk-singing, Man U fan exiled in Sweden. But you would be wrong, and Peter Crouch in gold-lame hot pants is Very Disappointed with you. No beer tonight.

Koko: Few Liverpool fans live in Leeds. Koko is one. Another of the corner's poets, koko spends his days trying to save the NHS and posting pictures of himself and his wife on the internet.

Ebren: As a footloose and fancy free denizen of London, Ebren wanders the capital looking for the latest sporting thrill and trying to decide what sport he likes best. In his spare time he is an iconoclastic new-media empire builder.

Hannibal: With more identities than Prince this northern DJ gives up his spare time to research jazz clips to share with his friends and other enemies. Having only missed four Liverpool home games in 30 years it's fair to say he is a passionate Man U supporter, just one with Fabien Barthez's sense of direction.

Marcela: as beautiful as her prose, as well-connected as a convicted murder in the southern states of the USA, this Argentine temptress is loved by all - but most especially by andrewm. Splitting her time between the football cities of London and Buenos Aires, Marcela has been known to make real actual Premiership footballers read poetry.

guitougoal: Thrown from his Gallic home to the existential and irony-free hell that is LA, guitou survives by printing T-shirts in cans, reading and writing about sports, and campaigning against The Man and for the many.

file: Rumours that Thai brides first drew our faithful file to the land of future Man City owners have been hastily investigated by Belgian centre half and part time private eye Hercules Profiterole. But one thing is certain - any man passing through an airport turnstile sideways is going to Bangkok.

Bluedaddy: Perhaps the only Chelsea-loving bookworm in the village.

jonnyboy71: Sworn enemy of andrewm (at least to andrewm), Glouster-supporting, pimp-mobile-driving, rugby fan. Dabbles in motorsport and does a mean Clarckson impression.












The boxer












the tapir:

small Scottish cat:

and anyone I've missed out.

Just for fun

Here's the top-20 most read articles. But this is dodgy as anyone reading from the front page won't show up and posting links to your stories/emailing them around can screw with the placements.

Still, interesting list. (The top 50 list counted as a vote for inclusion).

Top 20 most read as of 12/07/2007
1981 - Mario Kempes - Pipita
K on M by MMyA
Feedback on Exam - mouth
Chantelle and titi - Z
Blogaholics - mimi and mouth
Things will never be the same - zeph
Great players, one club, no medals - BD
Ever fallen in love - Mouth
Footballers - HB
Ernest and the boxer
Cricket should tackle - Margin
Dan Alb Pass - pipita
Falling ticket prices - Margin
100 years of TT - Mouth
Don't bother I'm never gonna understand - me
Tahiti nui vaa - offy
England's latest crisis - mimi and mouth
Zimbo or zimo - mouth
Where are we now - GG
Game in Europe - BiB

Things I think should be on but no one else agrees with me: (only one of mine)


DoctorShoot said...

bastardios of the bush that I am I am absolutely gobsmacked!!
what a monumental undertaking you are honouring with blood sweat and tears...

You bring to mind one of those huge black beasts saddled up impossibly with 65kgs for three miles on a dead track, ploughing through dense mud, gritting and going again flared nostrils and sweat pluming every hurdle, and always the burden of that monkey spurring spurring, again through the mist against yet another jump...

monumental monumental effort behind your post...

pathetically I have to say the only meagre response I can offer is that 'the lot with the lot' for forty quid would still be good value...

you have to go down in literary annals for this one...

i.e. it's your corner and in the end you choose and I will be happy.

mimi said...

Just agree with doc, basically, though I do rather like the idea that there might be a restraining order out there somewhere! Aw look, if they bothered to travel so far, my door is open......

mimi said...

Just read my way through more, and yes, Free Olympics was a great article and led to a brill strand. Should have put it in my top 10 or so, but it's so hard to separate what all these posts have meant at any one time.

DoctorShoot said...


Levremance: venerable croweating collywobbling doyen of sporting forecasts; the calm eye in the storm.

Nestaquin: the journalistic thunder from downunder in paradise; globetrotting taswegian batsman with the latest goss.

MotM said...

Phew! What can one say? What a canon!

Any of it would be tremendous but a special plea for those writers who try to raise a smile.

Brilliant work Ebren! Great gratitude to you, book or no book.

Which is what the Doc said isn't it?

Zeph said...

Ebren - dog, you're impressive! Thank you for all the blood, sweat and tears.

Erm, so am I right in thinking that the key section is the 'somebody loves me' list, from which we would have to lose about half a dozen? And all the other pieces are in unless somebody objects to them?

Btw may I politely point out (before anyone else does) that Duckworth and Lewis have got in twice? They're on the boat with Chanelle and then in the queue by themselves. Or perhaps Duckworth is on the boat with the girls and Lewis has been left in the queue...

bluedaddy said...

Top burrowing Lord E. Will try to make use of your hard work to catch up on a few oldies that I cant seem to access using the contents on the right hand side (I click on the older weeks but it just says 'loading' for ever).

Is that Top 20 list in order? If so I'd better get in training for my Intertoto slog to qualify seen as no bugger wants me in the book!

There's tears on my keyboard people! Real salty grown man's tears.

Zeph said...

Hmm, yes, BD.

Top 20 most read, and also 101 comments (I've just looked). No use asking me cos it's about football, but anyone else want to re-assess that one?

DoctorShoot said...

at least one post from all contributors...

irrespective of all other things...

you are a cornerstone and have to be in there... 'Great players, one club, no medals' - was an excellent piece but I didn't put it in my list because I am a football dunce (lover but dunce at it!!) and it certainly got a lot of praise from hannibal, marcela, mouth et al...

Ericverschoor is not on the list and a real goer in the comments clinches with some insightful stuff.
He had a post contributed also I think...

Ebren said...

Right - Duck and Lew... I think I included it in the Channelle secion - but it is in the other section in it's own right.

Ericverschoor is in the articles I think should go in section. It's entirley possible I have missed him from the cast list (oops - bound to happen with someone, Ingrid's missing as well, but then she might just be off with GG).

Top 20 is in order. I thought Pipita's was the only one not to feature elsewhere, I was clearly in error. Cheers for the link Zeph.

All of the list is up for grabs - this was based on voting so far and the top 50 (well, technically the top 52 not including the pubs/taverns/drinking establishments - which all seem to do well).

Authors can pull stuff from the list at will (I'm not so sure a couple of mine should be anywhere near it - thanks for the love guys, but I'm not convinced they are better than what's been left out) as we need thier permission to print.

I'm also sure there is a gem or two missed (I love "dear Paulo" for example, and was surprised no one else mentioned it).

Comment freely, and if not, just have a read through some great stuff.

I was initially thingking c1,000 per article with comments included/excluded at will. Obviously this is flexible as some posts are shorter some longer, and the 80,000 is a purely arteficial limit (although I'm not sure we want to go much above 100,000 as that would lead to a brick of a book).

Hope that clears things up - I'm now off to tidy some of my typos after a good night's sleep.

Ebren said...

dog knows what I've just done to the formatting - please forgive me my technical ineptitude.

nesta said...


I have no idea what is going on and I'll need a few hours to catch up but what I see here is stupendous.


I've only returned just now after an absence and I am aglow but not surprised. The energy of the people involved in this freedom loving community is special. From little things big things grow.


marcela said...

i loved 'dear paolo', 'poll position', 'what's in a name [...] pele', 'bounce of panesar'

re-read all last night and i see no reason why they shouldn't be in.

greengrass' synopsis of where we are now or who and what and why we are here or whatever would make a good intro or a good intro to a section or whatever. its lovely.

greengrass's sins of puberty is delightful.

in fact, i repeat, i have never read anything on this site that isn't good enough to publish in a book.

i can probably help you with cast blurb for clack, pipita, paulita, byebye, yrsa, honolulu, duncan and docshoot - mostly with figments of my imagination but then, isn't that what you all are anyway??

not now, though, sadly. not now. have to go get a life.

later :)

and PS ebren, you done us proud, lad. well played!

MotM said...

I am immensely proud to see some of my solo efforts and my work in partnership with Mimi figuring in the lists.

But I agree with other posters who talk about our community here. I would much rather capture the broadest possible base of the contributors than see lots of my work in the book. I owe all but the first couple of pieces (which were Big Blogger rejects) to the community anyway, as I would never have buckled down to it without you guys' support.

There is such a lot of good work here that I would love to see all the regulars and as many of the irregulars as possible with at least one article. Readers could always follow through online should they wish to read more of their favourites, particularly if the book has a list of other titles by each author.

And there's always Volume II...

Ebren said...

Generally agree with you there Mouth - but I would add two things.

Firstly some articles flow from a previous one (i.e. your in good time and GG's the meaning of sport), and there are also series that develop.

I think in these cases it's fair to include more than one thing from the same author/group as a single entry would not give the full picture.

I think more or less everyone has at least an article mentioned somewhere above - excepting irregular posters and people who post but write little/nothing (emma and andrew amongst others).

Secondly - I think the best stuff should go in. Especially when choosing from a single author. I want to look back and be impressed, I want to be able to hand this to someone who will be impressed. Love the community, and the breadth, but the quality is also important. While I agree with Marcela that all of it is worth reading, I also think there is definitely a quality differential (not least within my own work, some of which is rubbish). If we have to select, take out the worse pieces.

Oh - and as I appear to have fuct the last few links above - here they are again:

Free olympics
Sign of the times
Flights of fancy
Monty's bounce

file said...


immense work and really appreciated, fantastic and tremendous etc.!!!

myself a much better reader than riter, I fully agree with Marcela, I haven't seen anything crap here at all (even by you!), actually really amazed by the quality of everyone's work

huge thanks to all for all and to E for all the time you've spent on this site, sussing out the logistics of publishing our work, compiling, presenting, linking etc.

really good comments by all here and I'd echo what Mr Mouth says; the community should be as widely represented as possible while running through a 'best of' quality filter

Branston Rabids would take a lot of space and perhaps there is no need to include it as so much other stuff could be there instead, as MotM says many of us owe most of our work to the community...

Zeph said...

There are some really good pieces in the 'somebody loves me' section - Allwell's cycling piece, Ray Kale from Godlovesatheists, File's FA Cup Final and Evolution Baby, Mimi's British Heroes - all of those should be in, I think. And a place should be found for Greengrass's Where Are We Now, though edited down a bit maybe.

MotM said...

Sound call Ebren.

mimi said...

Agree with others, Ebren, monumental effort. I'm happy to leave final selection to you based on the info you have so far and your editorial nose for quality. I'm not sure where I stand on inclusion of comments - some articles have been so enhanced by the post-writing discussion (Free Olympics for one) that it would be wrong not to include. But would that take us way over the limit? However, if comments are to be included, should the original author edit, or perhaps delegate someone else less close? I really don't know. Another thing I've been thinking - how about moving all taprooms and drinking establishments into a little subset of their own on the site (not for printed publication) but for those long nights when there's nothing on the telly, and one just wants to be entertained?
Finally, for now anyway, I think someone should write a longer intro/cast list item for Ebren himself. As many others have pointed out, none of us would be here without him, and due tribute should be made, in a serious though obviously Pseudishly suitable vein.

bluedaddy said...

What about HenryMoon style:

Our dear Lord Ebren
Given half a chance, will find
The roof of the stand

marcela said...

bluedaddy - you're not ACTUALLY henry moon are you?

look, all. i never meant to say there aren't variations in quality.

just that having not read EVERYTHING on pseuds i dont feel it's fair to 'vote' for some stuff. and i do think the overall standard is pretty impressive.

my concerns about 'reducing' the full ingredients to try and make a book might lose a lot of the appeal of the site - i've voiced these before and now i'm just happy to contribute any way i can, ebren, or team, or however you all feel is best to do this.

but 'selecting' some work above others isn't something i enjoy. i have been throwing out stuff i remember i liked, or re-read or read for the first time and thought: 'wow'.

doesn't mean i don't think the same of a lot of other stuff...

i await instructions from lord as and if required and in the meantime, mimi and anyone else interested, i have decided to use paulita's new place as a taproom.

drowning sorrows over there :)

Yrsa Roca Fannberg said...

It seems like this is slowly coming together, I feel like I have little to say on how it should take place, as I am a newcomer, I think the writing that is best, is obviously the timeless one, that our grandchildren will want to read.

mimi said...

yrsa: everyone has something to say - that's why we love this place.
Marcela - can't find Paulita's piece, but the title of my latest leather, lycra, rubber - should be enough to bring the hordes rushing. Where's Ingrid??

DoctorShoot said...


some people already there and well into their cups and cheeroots...

shooting for the thousand posts... but paulita nervous about so manay people in her garden...

Yrsa Roca Fannberg said...

Ebren & File

I am more than happy to provide the artwork for the cover or for something inside if you want.
I know the diagramms are of kind of low resolution I am trying to find a way to make them cope with pixelation better.
let me know if there is something I need to do, or it will just happen later or whatever decision you make.

kokomo lost in yorkshire with his grandad said...

err... i'm in sheffield not leeds. And i would be very upset if any more of that type of slander went into print.

Book, book, book, book, book.

I am now very enthusiastic about this book thingy. i didn't vote, because i don't think that it is for me to be an arbitor (i went a couple of months without reading anything on here, and am confused by this branston pickle/wags in the windies stuff, so it would be unfair of me to just vote for offside's glorious rowing adventure, plus my three ditties.

Thanks for getting my two earlier pieces to the 'brought a ticket' stage whoever voted for them. Very exciting to be validated by a bunch of people who seem to spend all day reading and writing about sport!

Ebren said...

Ooops - sorry KK. Got confused.

greengrass said...

This book thing looks good! In my summer haze, I'd forgotten it - and the t-shirt plans.
All credit to you, Lord Ebren. I'd love a book, and love to be in one - it would be a privilege to be permanently between the covers in such company.
Speaking of which: many thanks, Marcela, for reminding me of the fact that what I was up to all those years ago was, in fact, a sin. Obviously, the young lady involved was well aware of that very fact - being a Catholic, she confessed immediately; I, being a Protestant, could not avail myself of that excellent ritual and will thus surely burn in the eternal flames.

offside said...

I'm sure those flames will be delighted to lick you.

And you deserve it too, for deserting us for so long.

mimi said...

Are we progressing at all?

Miss Bangkok Hotels said...

Thank you so much for sharing your story. It's very informative. I love to read it and do hope to read your next story.

Anonymous said...

I think this is one of the most vital information for me.
And i am glad reading your article. But wanna remark on
few general things, The site style is ideal, the articles is really great : D.
Good job, cheers

Take a look at my web page :: visit the official web site

Tweet it, digg it