Tuesday, March 6, 2007

Kusturica on Maradona - Marcela Mora y Araujo

By the utterly lovely Marcela Mora y Araujo

A friend of mine once complained, after a film which had failed to meet her expectations, “all I’m after is 90 minutes of enternainment, is that too much to ask?”. Someone looked at her and said with a perfectly straight face, “that’s exactly what you get with a football match”.

People are forever asking why aren’t there more good films about football. They may as well ask why aren’t there more good films about film. The two genre are in a sense tokens of a type. Football is its own art form – it is the game itself that gives us whatever narrative we may be after: drama, suspense, hope, fear… laughs, tears. The whole gammet of human emotion can be observed on the pitch.

I was re-reading an interview with the Argentinian writer Julio Cortazar where talking about literature he said: “It’s not a game. What I do believe is that literature has such a great margin, a latitude, which allows or even requires – at least to me – a recreational dimension that turns it into a huge game. A game in which you can risk your life but which preserves playful characteristics. Literature evokes for me sports such as basketball or football, in which a combinatorial art, the creation of strategies, are elemental. Without them, there would be no game”.

I feel the same applies to film. Which is not to say that a film couldn’t take football as a subject – far from it. Perhaps the reason why successful football films are rare (although increasingly less) is precisely because they tend to be instances when the filmmakers take football to be a topic which they ought to say something ‘about’.

As any avid football follower will know, football isn’t a ‘thing’ which we can make single pronouncements about, any more than film is. Football is almost an umbrella term which encompasses action, illusion, dreams, pain, sadness, and increasingly elements of showbusiness such as advertising, murky international deals and the attention of the rich and famous.

Sue Clayton, a director and screenwriting lecturer for the University of London and the British Council, claimed to have found the formula for the perfect film. According to her, the perfect film would be made up of: action 30%, comedy 17%, good v evil 13%, love/sex/romance 12%, special effects 10%, plot 10% and music 8%.

To varying degrees in the percentages, an average football match has its quota of all the above.

DIEGO

Over the last decade I have had reason to observe Diego Maradona and his ‘entourage’ on several occassions. As a subject (journalistic, football, film… whatever the channel) he is without equal. His fairytale rise from rags to riches, his compulsive misbehaviour, his talent, his brilliance… all combine to provide every ingredient a good story could ever wish for.

I always remember being invited to join his ‘intimate’ dinner party in October 1995. First, outside the Boca stadium where a match had just finished, I was ‘loaded’ onto the back of a cattle truck with about 20 or 30 young men whom, if I met in a dark ally, would inspire me to cross the road. Then, I joined an assortment of fat women, gangster looking men, loud children, seated around some tables shaped in U, and Diego like the king of this bizarre kingdom seated at the centre. They banged cutlery and cheered his every word as if we were on the terraces, or perhaps it is the terraces that emulate Diego’s family dynamics. They swore and kissed each other and insulted each other and embraced again. They laughed. The whole thing was beamed live on national television but only certain frames would be broadcast – a close up of Diego, the celebrities and the restaurant owner, the musicians who came to perform… . The essence, the feel of the event, was never broadcast.

It was an atmosphere that I have on occasion seen successfully depicted in films such as Ettore Scolla’s portrayals of life in the poverty striken outskirts of Italian cities. And, of course, in Emir Kusturica’s films portraying gipsy life in Eastern Europe.

EMIR

What Emir Kusturica has achieved in his films is to take us, the viewer, into the code by which his characters live, without bringing our moral baggage with us. Rather than suspension of disbelief it is suspension of western value judgments.

In the Hollywood movies, and by Hollywood I mean all mainstream white western cinema, we have those formulaic portrayals in which there is a single moral dilemma, a bad guy and a good guy, a homogenous sense of what things should be like. On the rare occassions in which the heroe commits some kind of transgression (adultery, theft, etc) this becomes the ‘issue’, and punishment or justification will be provided accordingly.

In Kusturica’s films the moral code is more honest: his characters will sell their own children or thoroughly search the corpses of their own parents in search of cash. Good and evil are thus no longer defined by the written laws but rather by a sense of the warmth, loyalty, and appeal of the characters. By the end of the movie we are no longer appalled or questioning of the ethics of what goes on, but rather have been absorbed into accepting that’s how things work and just hoping the ones we like get their way.

This is more like real life generally but particularly like real life in the ghetto, in the developing world, in football even.

It was Hunter Thompson who said we live in a society where everyone is guilty and “the only crime is to get caught”. Traditional film has taken a pedagogic approach which is so removed from reality that it has become escapism in the most dumbing of ways. There are no shades of grey, everything is black and white (albeit in technicolor).

The western media has taken a similar stance, and with regards to Maradona in particular for example, has always clinged firmly to judgmental stances: he takes cocaine, he cheats. Therefore, he is evil.

The reality is that a lot of people take cocaine – and that the formal rules of football are such that it allows for breaches to go unpunished as long as the referee doesn’t see them. Societies like Argentina, where the judiciary is endemically corrupt and the application of the formal rules has always been arbitrary, people function according to a code which recognizes informal rules.

Maradona’s sin has always been his transparency and his absolute refusal to hide this fact. He is, in many ways, the most honest of us all. For he never lies. He is always sincere and true to his whims.

Kusturica has not breached rules in his art, but he has done away with Hollywood conventions and he is in many senses regarded as a maverick. A rebel of extraordinary talent.

But is he the Maradona of the film world?

GENIUS AND CELEBRITY

There is a wonderful moment captured on camera of a meeting between Kusturica and Coppola (Francis Ford). Coppola is sitting down and Kusturica (who has presided the Cannes film Festival and won an Oscar) goes up to him and introduces himself. It becomes clear that Coppola has no idea who he is, doesn’t even stand up, and Kusturica eventually walks away.

The clip was shown to a series of European intellectuals who deconstruct the encounter, mostly concluding that Coppola represents Hollywood and Kusturica independent European cinema. The former is so ignorant of the accomplishments of the latter, and the scene is both humbling and frustrating.

Maradona knows who Kusturica is and even requested personally that Kusturica be the man to direct the official documentary on Maradona’s life. This is part of a series of deals Maradona has signed with production companies who will ‘exploit’ his image and split the proceeds with him. Maradona admires Kusturica, one can only imagine because he fully understands the world depicted by Emir in his films. There may be more in common between the marginal life of the Balkans and the slums of Buenos Aires than either of them share with Hollywood.

And Kusturica has a lot to offer Maradona: an entrée into the glamorous world of film celebrities, invitations to walk along the red carpet in Cannes, access to the frivolous five star existence of the superstars. Last year (2005) this meeting between one world and another was splashed across the pages of Argentina’s versions of Hello magazine and, pressumably, when Maradona visited Serbia the same happened there.

Kusturica got to grasp the Maradona clan in its entirety, befriending the daughters who are now soap opera actresses, visiting Naples where Maradona is revered like a God, pressumably capturing the candlelit altars where the virgin is replaced by Diego on film.

Another wonderful point of connection between these two is Kusturica’s treatment of death. In his films, characters die and then come to life again without any explanation. Or you are never sure if they’re dead or alive. Diego himself has been thought dead many times – his health now defies medical science and he himself refers to “the time when I died” and even “the time when I really died”. Whereas most people struggle to comprehend what Maradona’s physicians and friends refer to as a ‘miracle’ Kusturica is probably ideally suited to be able to tell this story in a completely believable way.

Interviewed by the Guardian about the project and Diego Kusturica said: “There are always motherfuckers queing up to pull you down to earth. But we must fly occassionally, we all have to feel that joy or we are nothing”.

For these reasons Emir Kusturica is perhaps the most apt filmmaker imaginable to make the documentary of Diego maradona’s life. And yet, the project is now at a standstill, its completion delayed, the real life elements involved in ‘film-making’ and ‘dealing with Maradona’ conspiring to stall this most promising of ouvres.

THE CUM SHOT

Any film, any football match, needs its climax. Whether a hand goal, a goal of such beauty and prowess that for 20 years or more no-one will think of another, or a head-butt, each game will have its dramatic fulcrum.

And films too will require the equivalent of the goal, or what is known in the porn industry as the cum shot: the moment that makes the whole thing worthwhile, the entire picture fall into place.

In Maradona’s relationship with the media (TV, books, film, whatever) the cum shot has come to be widely regarded as the ‘sit-down’ one on one with Maradona himslef. Kusturica is no different, and it is his need to have this one last exclusive moment with Diego that is holding back completion.

A little over a year ago I visited the set of Maradona’s own TV show, a bizarre cross between a reality show and an italian mega production, with cars on set and Diego’s own family captured weeping among the audience. My visit coincided with Emir’s. It was a double edged sword for him: he was hoping to appear on the show as an interviewee in exchange for an interview for his own film with Diego. But instead he was paraded onto a set with a white sofa and some other guests, hardly given a chance to speak, and made to watch from within the bizarre spectacle which ensued. It happened to be on that night that a Mexican actor who spent most of his adult life dressed as a child in his show “El chavo del Ocho” (the orphan from number eight) was the guest of honour. Now, El Chavo was a children’s show which has delighted many generations of Latin American TV watching children (which is many, for even in the most deprived areas of the thirld world TV sets beam all day long) and the Mexican actor is now a reactionary celebrity in his late 70s. But Maradona loves him, and his show, and when he was a guest on this programme the producers dressed dozens of small children in the Chavo’s characteristic outfit and filled the set with smoke as the kids performed a choreagraphed dance around the old Mexican man. I caught a glimpse of an image which will stay with me forever: Kusturica, whose own cameraman had been banned from filming in the studio, stood up in the middle of the smoke filled set, his camera held out like a machine gun, and he spanned the studio with a killer look in his eye.

For me, that would be as good an image as any to call it quits. If I was him, I would have what I came for.

But alas, Kusturica still awaits his audience with Diego: his proper ‘sit down one on one exclusive’ which Diego has come to realize is the ace up his sleeve, the most powerful bargaining tool he has, and therefore, the card which he keeps closest to his chest.

A series of missed planes on both sides, impossible schedules, and one pressumes egos which are getting in the way of pragmatic negotiations have meant that a year on this exchange has not taken place and that the maverick film-maker is unable to complete his cut while the maverick footballer – one can only speculate – is playing hard to get in the hope of getting something more out of the project.

Yet here is where the film-maker and his subject cease to be on an equal footing: Diego is now more like Francis Ford, sitting grandly and refusing to acknowledge the unique brilliance of the man who stands before him – Emir.

And Emir, proud like a gipsy from the Balkans, will not give an inch.

No doubt there is enough canned footage to make us all, lovers of the game itself, pursuers of the pure joy, the flight of genius, the trajectory of the ball, the magic of the celluloid, rejoice in what Emir has shot, could cut.

But will we ever get to see it?

165 comments:

Ebren said...

If I remember the only film they found with that percentage breakdown was Toy Story 2. Which, to be fair, is a cracking film.

Andy calls for the perfect football match?

Ebren said...

Good piece also. I got distracted trying to think of comedy in football to say it. But very good.

Margin said...

Absolutely Brilliant. And I'd love to see that smoke-covered, camera-weilding final shot.

jonnyboy71 said...

I get the impression that Ebren has more than a passing resemblance to Buzz Lightyear.

Marcela, 'ta muy bie', eh! Great writing, such original material, really enjoy your stuff. Damn it, I've joined the fan club.

jonnyboy71 said...

Ebren, why's Andy calling?

Ebren said...

You mean . . . .I'm a .. . . . toy?!?!?

Bit of a Freudian slut that.

I meant "any", but then if I am Buzz Lightyear then Andy is probably wanting to involve me in a battle with Evil Emperor Zurg

bluedaddy said...

Cool as fuck.

Maradona has always been so difficult to capture, even as he was imprisoned by those who wanted to milk him dry.
I hope this film gets made. And yes, I can't think of a more appropriate film maker than EK, but I'll take a corny Capra happy ending if there is one going.

Eb. I watched Toy Story 2 yesterday with sickly daughter. An absolute treat. Followed it up with The Incredibles - better than any Bond movie.

slimjim68 said...

Let us know when it finally comes out, Marcela. The question is how will Diego come out of it? It's always so hard to cut through the bullshit with a man like him. I think that's why the media here go for the negative aspects - it's easier just to demonise him for the Hand of God and his cocaine abuse that to unravel everything and bring out his good points, of which there are many.

Talking of Coppola, it almost sounds like Kusturica is playing Willard to Maradona's Kurtz. I can picture him sailing up the River Plate, looking through the great man's top secret file and planning how to get that killer interview.
"The bullshit piled up so fast with Diego you needed wings to stay above it"

andrewm said...

Brilliant - a mammoth Marcela article on the blog. I'll need time to formulate some appropriate comments.

Thanks marcela - you've shown us all how it's done, yet again.

Zephirine said...

Brilliant. I just love this quote:
Diego Kusturica said: “There are always motherfuckers queing up to pull you down to earth. But we must fly occasionally, we all have to feel that joy or we are nothing”.

Anonymous said...

I was only thinking last night why there weren't any decent films about football, or indeed any other sports (apart from Cool Running and that Richard Harris one about Rugby League) and wondering whether to attempt a piece on it. Damn, no point now as couldn't possibly compete with this excellent and incredibly knowledgeable article. Beautiful stuff.

mimi said...

Sorry, that anon one is me, Mimi. Must have hit a wrong button.

guitougoal said...

utterly lovely and brilliant Marcela-
in 1981 Freddie Fields produced the film "Victory" casting....Silverster Stalone , Michael Caine...and Pele.
The film was a total commercial flop,since hollywood give a cool reception to any suggestion of soccer related movies. I asked Freddie who also produced Glory (with MGM) if David Beckham coming in Hollywood could be a factor for a change of heart, his answer was :"Nop.".
Marcela, I will come back later on this, because I have to have some free time and your story is well worth it.

pipita said...

Really enjoyed reading this Marcela. Have two serious resrvations concerning a couple of appreciations you make on the kusturica/maradona relationship however. Dont want to dismiss diego's cinematographic sensibility here, but do you really think he admires emir's work. I wouldnt be surprised to find out he has barely watched a whole film of his. Also, I wonder how much maradona would tolerate emir's no-bullshit approach to the subject of diego "the man" in his film. I think that surreal "el chavo" anecdote you mention gives an idea of diego's mixed feelings about this documentary. Having said this, sincerly hope we get to see it some time

miro said...

Marcela

Neither the bilogical or the spiritual explanations fully answer the question of genius. It remains a mystery. Perhaps the only way to really find out what it is, is to become one.

Now there's a challenge for you.

marcela said...

hi all! i didn't know this was up already...

miro, you know at the university of salamanca the mantra is:

"lo que natura non da, salamanca non presta".

i fear it is not an option 'to become' a genius. but we can only aspire to recognise it in others should it come our way.

mimitig, i absolutely insist you write about football and film. we are not 'competing', are we? did you get a chance to hear the rheingold mp3 file i posted on the MOAB (aka Blog on Blogs). His big thing is how we've come to view competition as more important than cooperation, something completely anathema to survival.

slimjim:
"The bullshit piled up so fast with Diego you needed wings to stay above it". love it.

i actually think Diego has such cinemascope brain power that he sees the bullshit all around him all the time, and therefore has had to grow wings to wade through life.

zephirine:the motherfuckers pulling down to earth quote was spotted by someone else in a GU interview with Kusturica. If I was a better blogger I would have ladened this with links...

thank you all. :)

thank you ebren for providing a platform for this kind of stuff that is hard to 'fit' into existing formats...

mimi said...

Marcela: you are too kind. With ebren giving us this opportunity to create a community rather than just be part of Sean's comp, I may well give the film thing a try. I didn't see your MP3 excerpt (if that's the word) but couldn't agree with you more about the sentiments of co-operation. I've had a few ideas about collaberative pieces (shared with Mouth - and happy to share with you all if you're interested) but have a slight worry that GU will begin to worry that we're all talking too much to each other, and won't use their blogging sites enough. We must get in a pre-emptive strike to assure them that we love them!

bluedaddy said...

mimitig/tag. Seani and the gang have nothing to fear from 'us'. We have staunchly supported the Sportsblog, even while we have asked them to aim higher/cast the net wider. To their credit they have responded to general demand with Big Blogger, extended their range to cover football leagues all over the world, and, when we have time to notice, do well to try to get across the wider world of sport.
Bloggers (including 'us') are quite voracious in their appetite in a 'more! better! now!' way. So I for one have learned to appreciate GU.

But what we have here is also pretty damn cool. I wouldn't be the slightest bit surprised to know that selected GU grands fromages visit here, even if they unfortunately stay silent. I'd love to see Sid Lowe post here as I am sure he has more range than he is allowed on his Spain watch.

I think the most important thing is that some articles on GU blogs are given room to 'breathe', in the way that Marcela has suggested on her own blog threads i.e. moderators should be extremely broadminded as to what constitutes on-topic. The rest of the talk policy seems to look after itself. I can't remember the last time I came across a troll on a Marcelita blog.

There is more to say re Marcela's piece but gotta go get the kids

BD

andrewm said...

mimitig, I don't think there's a problem. They may have checked us out once to see if we're slating them, and now they know we're not I doubt they visit over here. Imagine if we got AC Jimbo to comment though :o)

Also, American sports make for some good films in my opinion, especially baseball. I really don't know why that is. When Saturday Comes gets my vote for worst football film. I love the idea that he can't tell his mates he's got a trial so he has to get smashed with them the night before. Such an insight into the mindset of the working class male :)

mimi said...

When Saturday Comes - that's the Sean Bean one isn't it? Crap film, crap about football, but it is Sean Bean and so will merit a mention if I do as Marcela asks and do a film piece.
I wish the GU bods communicated with us more. Anyone listened to the pre world cup podcast?

Ebren said...

While I would love to have sid and james here (and any of the others), I echo Marcela's point to me on people seeming to demand she writes more and more for less and less.

I post/write as therapy, if it was my day job I think I'd be less inclined.

Haven't heard the WC pod yet - was planning to listen to it on the way to work.

MotM said...

So much stuff here that I really need to print it and read it slowly in peace and quiet (ha!)

A couple of points.

I don't know the Kusturica films, but I'll seek them out. Nice to see the sublime Pixar movies getting a shout, but have any bloggers seen Miyazaki's movies? Kids get them straight away, but I need to watch them repeatedly to work out who the villain is, whether there is one at all and who's on whose side. There is a brilliant essay analysing all this on a Miyazaki site which I'll find and post if bloggers request. And John Lasseter's hero is... Hayao Miyazaki!

Re Diego - Yes, yes all that and more, but consider this. He did all he could to kill himself when his children were at a very vulnerable age. To have succeeded would have been the supreme act of egoism and the most dishonest cop-out possible. I wish him well, but I think of him as a footballer, and hypocrite, of the highest order.

Zephirine said...

Miyazaki movies are wonderful. No sport in them as far as I know, but a lot of flying machines. My nomination for best sporting movie is 'White Men Can't Jump' but it's about street-level basketball, not the pro sporting life.

marcela said...

tut tut, ebren sir, quoting from an e-mail without seeking prior consent... i have got into trouble myself in the past for that kind of behaviour. :)

but seeing as you mention it, i would like to qualify that when i said that to you i wasn't talking about 'writing' but about 'more blogging responsabilities...'

i like writing, and i don't mind about getting paid if i'm writing things i enjoy thinking about. it is actual work that i don't like doing for nothing (!)

it is one of the topics that comes up a lot among those colleagues of mine with whom i have conversations about blogging and new media, etc. a lot of journos feel blogging might cut into their bread and butter, and i can see sort of see their point.

re bluedaddy's point of lack of trolls on my threads... we did have quite a persistent one during the world cup. other posters introduced me to the concept of 'troll' and the dictum: 'don't feed them'.

and finally, there is really very little more i can do to show GU my commitment to and support for their sportblog. i don't think posting here is a threat to their site in any way whatsoever.

i think being a part of the web is all about linking all over the place and having different bloggers partaking in different sites.

whether or not others see it the same way i cannot say.

andrewm said...

Marcela, your commitment really is admirable.

I don't know how this little community developed, but in a very short space of time we have developed something. Who knows what.

bluedaddy said...

Marcela. If this blog isnt a tribute to what GU Sportsblog can achieve, I dont know what is. Surely Simon Waldman dreams of such communities forming around a Guardian Hub.

Re Miyazaki. I can only echo MOTM's endorsement. It is hard to know what his best film is. We have My Neighbour Totoro returning to us via Lovefilm, on special request from my kids. When I can spare the money, I am buying the whole collection.

Re Diego however I disagree with MOTM, though I know where he is coming from re the vulnerable kids thing. But I cannot imagine how I could cope with some of the pressures Diego has faced at various times in his life. He is like George Best, John Lennon, the Pied Piper, and Jesus rolled into one (sorry if that's sounds glib, but I dont have time to elaborate).
But if you just took the people of Naples alone, you have a genuine messiah figure, let alone all of the others across the world who adore him, project onto him, live through him, want a piece of him. To me it is a wonder that he has survived so long.

Night all.

pedrinho said...

Marcela, great to know you are expanding beyond GU blogs and "unleashing" yourself on the entire blogosphere (yes that is a compliment).
Your piece got me thinking about your initial question, why there aren't more (any?) good films about football. It's fine to say that the game is an art-form in itself, but why should that make it an art-form unfit for the screen?
Wish I had time to elaborate more on my thought, but for now I'll try to outline what I think is a plausible answer: the magic, beauty, fascination, of football is it's spontaneity, improvisation, uniqueness. While cinema is about rehearsal, repetitions, multiple takes, and production planning, football is simply about making it up as it happens and reacting to the unexpected. No football match will ever be the same as another... not even close. Even if both sides were to try to repeat the same game, agreeing to “choreograph” the plays before hand, the outcome of each rehearsed match would still vary enormously. That is what generates awe in the football fan, the constant, non-stop knowledge that at any moment during those scintillating 90 minutes, anything can happen and that no-one can actually control the outcome.
Therefore, football taken to the wide-screen becomes something else that in no way reminds the spectator of the original. What football fan hasn’t felt a surge of embarrassment when watching pathetically choreographed, slow, implausible soccer plays (how easy is it to imagine that right before the goal someone shouted out, “goal scene, take 15, rolling”) acted out for movie scenes. The moment that “kills” all football films, is the moment of the football itself.
Hence, most decent football films, books, whatever are the ones that don’t try to capture the game itself, but rather what goes on around it (Fever Pitch is the first example that comes to mind). And this I suppose bodes well for Emir, after all he is making a film about a man who personifies football, but not about the game itself….I hope.
Gotta run, hopes this makes some sense, I’ll try to pop back later and round it off.

marcela said...

motm; brilliant-essay-analysing-Miyazaki site ?!
yes please.

pipita - as far as i know, maradona requested kusturica be the director when he signed the deal with the production company. i don't know if he's seen the films, but i'm sure he'd both 'get them' and understand 'who the villain is' 'if there is one at all'.
what's this breaking news story about a fight with a photographer? plus ca change...


bluedaddy, i once stumbled upon something you wrote about maradona which was so moving i copied it onto a file. if only i could remember what i named it... i could repost!

victim or villain? neither. imperfect in so many ways. but sheer perfection in others.

night all.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

Still haven't had time to read Marcela's piece a second time and organise my thoughts in order to produce a comment that makes some kind of sense. Then I read all your posts and the orginal subject branches off in a thousand new directions. Think I'll just mix myself another cocktail instead...

Before I reach for the tumbler, I'd like to mention a small-budget, really obscure oddity from the 70's. A French film about football that is actually watchable, quite good even, if memory serves. It's called "Coup de tête" (a bit of a French obsession) and stars Patrick Dewaere who was one of my favourite French actors (took his own life at a fairly young age).

It does, as Pedrinho says, focus on the events outside the game, but the actual football sequences are well filmed. The extras were provided by A.J. Auxerre and I think Guy Roux worked as a consultant. I have no idea where it may be found but I know I'd love to watch it again.

pipita said...

Offside

Patrick Deware was a great favorite of mine as well. especially those late 70's films he did with miou miou and depardieu. Cant recall having seen this one you mention.

Marcela

Its not clear whether maradona stumbled to the floor or was hit in the face by a photographer at a night club where he joined the big brother rejects. In any case, whole affair is so incredibly tedious

guitougoal said...

pipita- the movie with depardieu and miou miou that you mentioned :"les valseuses"-kind of porno.
Tahiti, right - "coup de tete" was a good movie.
Pedrinho, taken to the wide screen football can like any other sport, be used as a canvas for a great film. But it takes 1) a great director who loves and understand the game-2) a good script.

guitougoal said...

Goal! the dream begins.Santiago Munez was born in Mexico and come to california when he was just a boy, He brought with him his love for football and while holding on two jobs, landscaping during the day with his father and as a busboy at night, play with an amateur team during his spare time....until he is approached by a scout for Newcastle and the story turn into a melodrama because he doesn't have the money to pay for his trip to England but end on a happy note.
good film directed by danny cannon last year, the studio is working on doing a sequence-good movie for football lovers.

olivier said...

guitou,

"les valseuses" was not porno, they just fuck all the time, that's all. Great flick, recommended. Dewaere and Depardieu vying for miou-miou's favours. Later on, one got his green card, the other stamped his own passport to eternity.

pipita,

Maradona was involved in a fracas when he visited Tahiti (Bora Bora to be precise) in january. Apparently he threw a glass at someone in a night-club and it ended in stitches and an amicable settlement. Is that the incident you're referring to or is this a new one? Anyway, I hope the glass was empty, it would be a shame to waste a good Mai Tai.

MotM said...

Miyazaki? Have a look at the final essay (Aaron Sherwood's) on this list http://www.nausicaa.net/miyazaki/essay/. It's a bit academic for some tastes I guess, but the table on page 14 is a brilliant summation of how Miyazaki knocks you off balance. Polt spoilers so beware. The rest of the site is very good.

I can't vouch for the bona fides of this site, but this is where I bought my boxed set of Miyazaki-san's work and other Ghibli output - http://www.uk2usa.co.uk/proddetail.asp?prod=J000030. Some of the early films are subtitled not dubbed, but the masterpieces are all there in English. Grave of the Fireflies is unwatchably distressing for me, but my kids love it.

If you're the kind of person who would never tire of looking at a Picasso, you can watch Kiki, Spirited and Totoro every day and find something new. I'm in double figures for Spirited and close for the other two.

Off topic? Good old Ebren and his site!

bluedaddy said...

Nearly bought a whole Ghibli set on ebay last week until I checked some feedback on Amazon re that particular set. Apparently it was pirated garbage. Will have a look at that site MOTM.

Am going to work now. I will be thinking about whether my dark side (hoping the Arse lose just to see the Gooners bleat and suffer and whinge) will prevail over my better side (wishing Arse well against a dull PSV, and feeling happy for the likes of ExVanP)

AndrewM. You have GOT to get out of Scotland for a while. That bleakness - it's in the rain you know! Save up and go and see Offside for six weeks. You'll come back a believer!

andrewm said...

BD, as the Mary Chain said, I'm happy when it rains :)

Bull Durham is a superior sports film.

Ebren said...

AM - that's clearly Garbage

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MxlmmMJzEEs

bluedaddio said...

The film Once in a Lifetime, about the NY Cosmos, is very good, with unmissable parallels to Chelsea, and to Beckham going west. Chinaglia's story is a film in itself.
Simon Hattenstone sums it up quite well here.
http://sport.guardian.co.uk/columnists/story/0,,1776249,00.html?gusrc=rss

(I think you have to widen the page to get the whole link)

My advice re the rain was actually linked to a discussion elsewhere on here re happy players. The JAMC were always worth paying attention too, and also proof re the need to see the world a bit. Look at Bobby Gillespie now - can barely keep his cool he's so contented.

MotM said...

Great Sports Film? - The Club

pipita said...

Guitou, offside

Yeah, I remember "les valseuses", but Im pretty sure that same trio appeared in another film as well. Or maybe it was one with the two men and la Huppert. Shit, my memory is deserting me. I'll have to check the film encyclopaedia at home.
Cant remember ever seeing any good football film, last one I saw was the ghastly "Goal" one, but I do recall a good american football one of the early 70's called "Brian's song" with James Caan based on a true story about two Chicago players.

andrewm said...

Ebren - how dare you sir.

BD, the Mary Chain were all about staying in your room and adding massive amounts of feedback to your Velvet Underground riffs, or alternatively writing depressed love songs. Seeing the world never came into it.

Tin Cup is quite a good sports film as well. Or do I just have a Kevin Costner fixation?

Ebren said...

Jerry Maguire?

I'll get my coat.

bluedaddio said...

You are right re JAMC AndrewM, but my point was: surely it's a phase not a lifetime commitment? Having visited Hell's Waiting Room (aka clinical depression) I favour an 'embrace the beautiful world' approach, which is why Jose tests my patience at times (eg last night, first half, Michael Ballack, grrr - maybe QnS has a point).

Re Kevin Costner: is it possible to be overrated AND underrated as an actor?

Ebren said...

Films about sport that were nominated/won best picture oscar
Viva Villa! - 1934
The Pride of the Yankees - 1942
The Life of [Emile] Zola is a 1937
The Greatest Show on Earth - 1952 (the Prem?)
Shane - 1953
12 Angry Men - 1957, Inter-Valencia
Chariots of Fire - 1981
Reds - 1981 (Liverpool and Man U)
Field of Dreams - 1989
My Left Foot - 1989. Downing reflects on the reason for his many England caps.
A Few Good Men - England's 2006 world cup campaign.
Gladiator - 2000
Seabiscuit - 2003
Million Dollar Baby - 2004.

I could go on

andrewm said...

BD, point taken, I probably should get out more. Besides, I'm not actually writing any Velvets riffs or depressing love songs.

Costner has a certain charm that usually appeals to me. I'd quite like to be his wingman and go chasing the ladies - we'd definitely pull.

On the subject of Field of Dreams:

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/40321

marcela said...

i never saw goal but i'm surprised guitou rates it. everything i've seen about it sounds crass.

no-one is mentioning The Champ, a tear jerker if ever there was one, with a v. sexy faye dunaway and ryan o'neil was it...?

but all these are fiction. you lot can't stay on topic for love nor money, can you? kustu's film is a documentary.

there have been plenty good ones of these: hoop dreams, the rumble in the jungle kings thingy, les yeux dans les bleus (possibly my favourite), world cup stories (!). what all these have is excellent amount of the sport they actually depict, as well as some of the interesting 'stuff around it'. a matter of balance. perhaps less formulaic than sue clayton's claim, but important nevertheless.

i reckon kusturica on maradona could be mindblowingly good. golden bear, sundance, all the rage anywhere everywhere but at the Academy.

pipita said...

Marcela
That was john voight and yes, with the divine faye dunaway, but far less sexier than in "three days of the condor" and "network".
Ebren
Allow me to add "Dont cry for me Argentina" (especially for world cups of 66, 90, 94 and 06) "the boys from Brazil", "A clockwork orange", and "Il sorpasso" (Italy in 82), to your list

Ebren said...

How could I forget "Angels with Dirty Faces".

And Bring It On - for me the finest of all sports films.

guitougoal said...

champ was great, I suppose you are refering to the remake by Zephirelli with John Voight, but if you can find the original black and white with wallace berry, it's something else.
off course scorcese "raging bull" probably best movie about boxing, Ali too.
I didn't rate as a great or good movie but "good movie for football lovers" there are not many.
pipita, form Fangio to Diego (including guillermo villas and carlos monzon)there is a great story for you about two to tango eleven to samba.

bluedaddy said...

And to bring it all up to date for Ronnie, Crespo (sorry pipita), Juninho, and errr Quaresma - The Departed

bluedaddy said...

Anyone seen the Zidane movie yet? Any good?

guitougoal said...

bluedad, see it please.

pipita said...

Guito

Thanks for those suggestions. Their is a fairly good documentary on fangio by the way, and as for the great Guillermo Vilas, you may not believe this, but he actually had a cameo in a late 70's film called Players which starred Ally Macgraw and one of Dean Martin's sons. But Ive chose to write on the much forgotten brazilian defender Marinho for the forthcoming big blogger

pipita said...

Bluedaddy

That was a rather nasty one......Poor ol crespito

Ebren

yeah, indeed, how could you forget "Angels with Dirty Faces", starring Maschio, Sivori and Angelillo

guitougoal said...

pipita, this movie was made by bob evans (ex:Ali husband) I can tell you a long story about this but that could be way of topic ( email me if you have any interest).
I was trying to be funny " 2 to tango 11 to samba" as Argentina's futbol versus Brazil......

pipita said...

Guito

Im intrigued by your connection with that film. Shall email you any minute. Re tango-samba, I had meant to add that I was sticking to the samba this time...

marcela said...

guitou, pipita, please either copy me into e-mail with long bob evans story, or just post it here!

bd: zidane film is really interesting. i think richard williams wrote a review and someone more recently wrote a post on a threa... maybe duncan 23? it's unusual, and quite arty. but i know people who wished there was more football in it.

it left me wanting to watch all the rushes. zizou is so watchable. but the film is quite tight around him and is slightly claustrophobic.

really worth seeing, though. unlike anything else.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

pipita, guitou, marcela,

copy me in the e-mail as well, or as Marcela said, post here, or write it up so Ebren can publish it...

guitougoal said...

Olive, no much more than "l'amant de la bonne de mata hari"...or "l'homme qui a vu l'homme qui a vu l'ours."-the guy who knows someone who know someone etc..
I'll tell you all while by the beach at pao pao enjoying the sun and the pina colada.Lille not bad at all so far after 50 mns.

mimi said...

with all you experts, there's no way I'll attempt a film piece now, but andrewm: great to see a JAMC ref. In my darkest sporting moments I always go back to the boys for a bit a soundtrack with which to slide down the razor blade of life.

andrewm said...

mimi, I'm delighted to hear that.

mimi said...

andrewm: glad to find a man of taste out there. In the darkest depths of the Ashes, or CB series, can't remember now, there were some who joined me in celebrating Einsturzende Neubaten and someone came in with a Die Toten Hosen ref. Huh, who gives a fig for the Long Blondes (but don't quote me, I've been slapped enough already by GU).

andrewm said...

mimi, have you seen Rob Smyth's myspace page? I respect his cricket knowledge, but if ever a man was horribly seduced by Britpop it was Smyth.

bluedaddy said...

Definitely get me in on the Bob Evans tale. I loved The Kid Stays In The Picture, one of my favourite documentaries, and such a clever device.

Here is a great interview with him. He mentions 'Players' about half way through. There is a great Laurence Olivier putdown of Dustin Hoffman near the end.
http://film.guardian.co.uk/interview/interviewpages/0,,842767,00.html

honolulu said...

Hello! Hola! Bonjour! Oi!

Great articles, everyone (since everyone seems to be meeting on this thread)! I have an assignment: going to a university media center and finding Kusturica and Miyazaki films because I am ashamedly ignorent of both. But not for long.

I think Sean is doing a great job with Guardian football, it is by far the most dynamic Sports page I know of (French recommendations would be useful, too, if you have any- I really miss Bobby Pires' radio show on Europe 1 and my French is getting rusty...).

This might destroy all of my credibility- I really enjoyed "Bend It Like Beckham," and to answer pedrinho's criticism of football films in general, the Germany-England game in the middle of the game was actually shot during the wrap after months of training- all of the footage is from a real 90 minute game and the "captain" in the movie played briefly for Arsenal ladies. It isn't the greatest football, obviously, but it looks real and you know both teams really want to win.

Favorite sport movie ever? The Natural.

underwater hockey? sharks? sure!
but no canoeing- I read your article.

guitougoal said...

oh no lulu! great call the natural, it's one if not the best baseball movie...fields of dream, eight men out and bull durham andrewn favorite too...other show if you can catch rmc ( Toure the french one has a funy show)
Bluedad- you didn't pay for your membership yet. How can you ask for more? except if you elaborate about what Jesus and Maradonna have in common except "la mano de Dios."

olivier said...

Lulu (and other francophones),

the best, nay the only, French web site about football is "Les cahiers du football". It's also a real newspaper made with real paper made from real trees, which has slightly more content than the site. But the site is a good start:

http://www.cahiersdufootball.net/

MotM said...

There is a short, but rather beautiful, documentary about the TdF 1962 (I think) called "Pour Un Maillot Jaune". One of those big name French auteurs made it and, if you can ignore the absurd Antoine de Caunes-style voiceover, it's a magical film.

greengrass said...

Help - this blog is a university!
First a grand article by Marcela, then a top-drawer discussion telling me about films and directors I've never heard of, but definitely want to see.
I'd love to see Kaurismäki do a film about a Finnish winter sports hero who blew his life - it would be like Kusturica in a fridge.

Marcela - you reallyv are a source of inspiration!
Your thoughts on writing for money and for pleasure remind me of mine on singing. I have often said that I will sing only for big money or for free - but if I sing for free, my heart has to be in it.
In the end, singing for money killed the joy, so I got another day job. Now, fortunately, the joy has returned.
GG
P.S. I thought at one stage that I was hooked on the GU blogs. Now I spend so much time quiche-mailing and on here that I don't really have much time to visit Sean's castrated kingdom.
Anyone who suggested that we "get a life"on the MOAB or elsewhere should take a look at the life that Ebren has enabled on here.

MotM said...

The three great documentaries about cycling (surely the most telegenic of sports) are these (note not my descriptions, although I agree!)

"Pour un Maillot Jaune (for the Yellow Jersey)

A wonderful film of the 1965 Tour de France made by acclaimed and Oscar-winning French film Director Claude Lelouch. The film is unique in that it has no narration, only beautiful images of the Tour to tell the story!

Recognized as one of the best films ever made about the Tour, "Pour un Maillot Jaune" has everything the Tour was in the 1960's and reveals the heartbreak and drama. Enjoy this loving testimony to the enduring appeal of the world's greatest bike race.

This is a film that can be watched over and over and each time something new is seen. It is very enjoyable even for those who aren't familiar with the sport of cycling! That is a true sign of a great film!"

and

"Vive Le Tour"

"It is not often that sports fans are treated to the privilege of their chosen game, as seen through the eyes of a cinematic legend, but that's exactly what cycling enthusiasts get with Louis Malle's short film VIVE LE TOUR.

Louis Malle, the famous French director of many cutting edge films and deceased husband of actress Candice Bergen, has put together an unforgetable short film perfectly encapsulating this fast moving essay of the 1962 Tour de France. Not just for bike racing acolytes; francophiles and students of film history, too, will appreciate the talent this director showed long before he made a name with modern film classics like 'Atlantic City' and 'Au revoir les Enfants'. It is interesting to see how much has changed in this tortuous annual event and how much has stayed the same! You'll also see great color footage of the team's wool jerseys. They had style that is still unmatched today."

and "Death on the Mountain"

"Tommy Simpson didn't have to deal with retirement blues. When he died on Mont Ventoux during the 1967 Tour de France, he had big negotiations coming up; at 29 he was looking for a fat contract to make him financially secure. Which meant, he reckoned, a podium finish or a few days in yellow. That was why he took the drug that helped kill him. What also helped kill him was his innate ability to push himself beyond sane limits.

Death on the Mountain (BBC2, Wednesday) concentrated on the last day of his life. He had been sick since the first Alpine stage and was struggling. His team-mate Vin Denson told him to settle for what he had.

He didn't, and paid the ultimate price. One of cycling's ancien rgime, Jean Stablinski, lauded him. 'He kept going to the end of his reserves,' he said. 'That's a great quality. All the great riders know how to do that.' Including the dead ones."

All are magnificent tributes to the flawed men who cycle professionally.

guitougoal said...

greengrass, are you serious about singing for free... my daughter's wedding is set for next month would you care to be the wedding singer?
I got Tahiti for the bar he is happy with the free drinks.
the other ebren bloggers are invited to work in the kitchen.
why do you think i am hanging so late here?

olivier said...

theoceanintahiti said...

swoooooooooshgrumblegrumblegrumble

guitougoal said...

Motm- cyclism most telegenique sport-
every year I am in France in june/july, watching the tour de france mountains stages it's a thrill. I am fascinated by the incredible efforts almost inhuman produced by the athletes. I will never forget Simpson death, one of the darkest day in the cyclism history.

bluedaddio said...

guitou. I'll cook. I once did a lunch for fifty for the day after my wife's sister's wedding. 3 hrs sleep and a hangover, and 24 hours notice too. Went down a storm.

Re Diego and Jesus. To many, especially poor Neapolitans and Argentineans, Maradona represented a persecuted saviour, a person to light the way towards happiness, even if only through victory on the football field. Nobody but Diego would have gone to Napoli. He suffered for it.

But dont get me wrong. Maradona is no holy man, though he seems to work miracles on the pitch!

levremance said...

Mouth - The Club has a great script, a legendary setting(the Collingwood footy club), and some wonderful lines ie footy is 'macho competitive bullshit'.

I also love the story that prized, but wayward, recruit Geoff Hayward tells aging club stalwart Jock Riley as an explanation for his loss of form. Jock is unknowingly smoking a joint that Geoff rolled for him and becomes increasingly pale as the story unfolds.

Geoff relates how, after his sister was left legless due to an horrific car accident, he made love to her every night to comfort her. One night his mother discovers the two in bed together, and instead of being disgusted, instead joins them and Geoff and his mother become lovers too. As Geoff says, "It seemed so right. Can you understand that, Jock? It was wrong but it was right".

Then one night Geoff's father discovers all 3 in bed together and in despair, shoots himself. So goes the reason for Geoff's up and down form. It was all bulshit of course.

Old Jock is disgusted and puts it down to the (notionally Catholic) Club recruiting a protestant. As he says "if a good Catholic lad so much as even thought of screwing his handicapped sister he'd still be down on his hands and knees yelling Hail Marys".

MotM said...

Lev - I recall that exchange and the look on the face of the credulous Jock as he sucked on the joint. Brightened my day no end.

Thanks!

greengrass said...

guitou -
is this in France? Where and when? If offside is doing the drinks and BD the food I will happily travel if I am free - the idea of a Frenchman allowing an Englishman to cook for his daughter's wedding is irresistible.
Any chance of getting Marcela to do some back-up vocals in a pencil skirt and Andy to perform a Highland Fling before piping in the haggis?
gg

Ebren said...

Can I come too. I'm sure I'll be able to contribute in some way.

Perhaps by getting thrown out of the churce for repeatedly making inapropriate comments, then setting up a website complaining about it to foster a sense of community between those similarly excluded?

Don't worry, I'll still get into the party by putting on a disguise to see the food, drinks, and singing

marcela said...

levremance - that scene is shocking. the whole idea is shocking. and jock's response is a good catholic one! very funny. thank you for posting it.

others: the idea of me singing is a bad one. i'm completely tone deaf and really no good. i have served time behind a bar though, so could assist OiT shaking the cocktails. i can chop an onion if bluedaddy wants a second pair of hands. or i could plot with ebren...

with andrew on pipes and sirollie djing, all we need is for kk to make sure the needles are clean!!

trippy or what?

guitou, please run this by your daughter before we confirm bookings. :)

guitougoal said...

green grass, i am in los angeles actually, if you cooked for fifty that could be just a regular meal for tahiti and his "gargantuesque" appetite-
marcela and andy could perform as your suggested as far as Ebren he is the designated excusive reporter.he can do no wrong.
all the weirdos who surround me shouldn't be surprised to see you, they believe elvis is still alive.Me too..."i just can't help believin...." sing the song baby sing the song.

Ebren said...

guitougoal - that comment will clearly do my ego no harm.

80 comments - I htink we've beaten Marcela's last GU piece.

And, yes, that would be the sound of my head expanding until it hit the roof.

andrewm said...

So that gives me less than a month to learn the bagpipes. Tough assignment, but I'll give it a shot.

MotM said...

The bagpipes require learning? I thought it was a random wail that was emitted!

andrewm said...

Mouth, the Scottish tunes are indeed just a random wail, but I was hoping to learn some actual songs, maybe some Elvis if guitou wants that. Maybe some Mary Chain.

guitougoal said...

all right then, we are all set.April 21. Just one more little detail I have to tell my daughter sasha who is 23 that i set up her wedding date dor April 21, she better find herself a husband right away.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

Elvis on the bagpipes? Performed by andrew with a whole month's practice? Tone deaf Argentinian chorus girl? Englishmen cooking? Double agents with inflated egos?In California?

Is this a screenplay? Who's writing it? Who's directing the film? Don't start without me.

Zephirine said...

I'm a screenwriter, but this one's beyond me - I could ask my friend who's just selling his movie about English sumo wrestlers....

andrewm said...

Musical update: I'm BRILLIANT on the bagpipes! I have "Love me Tender" down already and my "Blue Suede Shoes" is none too shabby.

MotM said...

andrewm - Blue Hawaii?

mimi said...

Ok - I haven't had time to read this entire strand (bit busy with my Fantasy League right now) but do object to negative comments about the bagpipes. You have to hear them in the outdoors, preferably with the full drum contingent, and in the swirling mist. Having hated the things when I lived in England, I can't describe how spooked I was the first time I heard the pipes and drums one winter day in Inverness, just a stone's throw from Culloden.
Talk about shivers up and down the spine.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

mimi,

no one said anything negative about the bagpipes. It's just the thought of andrew on the bagpipes after a month's practice. Worrying, disturbing, scary.

I'd love to check out his see-through kilt stage costume, though.

pipita said...

It seems to me that "Jail house rock" is more appropriate for this ocasion....I can provide a bandoneon to give this fest a tango-touch. Doesent seem I'll need to take any lessons, it might even prove an interesting ensemble to the noises emanating out of andy's bagpipes

andrewm said...

mimi, offside, I've only been practising for an hour or so but I can confirm that I will be the star of the wedding. guitou, I don't WANT to upstage the happy couple, but if I play, I will. I'm dynamite.

MotM said...

I'm never averse to a cheap shot at the bagpipes, but I've sat upstairs in a pub in Oban looking out at the Hebrides with a glass filled by two of those generous Scottish measures of the Macallan swirling about following up a couple of pints of Heavy, with the salt of the spray still on my lips and under my fingernails where I scratched my face and dog faced seals in the water betwixt the islands. Suddenly, the skirl of the pipes.

Archie's goal swam before my eyes, and, just for a moment, I longed to be Scottish.

olivier said...

yeah, scary

andrewm said...

Mouth:

"It's SHITE being Scottish!! We're the lowest of the low! Some folk hate the English; I don't - they're just wankers. WE, on the other hand, are COLONISED by wankers!"

greengrass said...

ebren -
how could I forget to state in my original post that I have already ordered 4 (not 3, but 4!) turntables so that you can do the disco? It was in my mind, but got lost in the joy of posting!
guitou -
you can't spoil this by asking your daughter, plans are too far advanced now.
zepherine -
bring those Sumo wrestlers!
pipita - I can knock out a tune (though you wouldn't want to hear it - Astor would cringe) on the bandoneon, so we can have a tango duo. But no-one will be able to hear us - or Marcela's tone-deaf vocals - if Andy manages to kick some life into the pipes.
Yes, the Highland pipes are glorious - more a weapon than a musical instrument.
This looks like being a magnificent video with the rest of us thrashing out "The Wedding" while Andy murders "You'll Never Walk Alone".
Director? Kusturica, of course!

andrewm said...

GG, YNWA would sound fantastic on the pipes. I do believe I've never heard that.

I'm on it.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

I once walked to the top of Arthur's Seat (ask andrew) for a bit of peace and quiet contemplation, only to be joined five minutes later by a bagpipe player. As it turned out, he was also seeking an isolated spot to practice in because, presumably, he was tired of people throwing stones at him. Weapons indeed, and the Geneva Convention should look into it.

And don't worry guitou, I'm sure we can come up with a decent son in law for you. We'll unveil him at the last minute, your daughter will enjoy the surprise.

mimi said...

Mouth: did you really scratch dog-faced seals or was that a punctuation error?
andrewm: Shite being Scottish??? Try being an english raised welsh-woman living in scotland!

marcela said...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=OADmYiqwlvI

i've just pinched this from another thread to make it 100!

it's actually rather beautiful, and more relevant to art than film, but this thread is now about the arranged marriage of guitou's daughter so... i should even score some brownie points for bringing it vaguely back on topic!

andrewm said...

offside, climbing Arthur's Seat is an important rite for every drunken 17-year-old student. I remember my first time well.

mimi, I would if I could.

olivier said...

Marcela,

forget about 100, we're heading for the thousands, for the millions, for the stars, next stop Alpha Centauri where the scratched-faced seals suck cosmic nectar through bagless pipes.

Any idea for the wedding present?

bluedaddy said...

A husband? Or a lawyer.... so she can divorce her dad?

bluedaddy said...

Marcela. Some silky skills there. But it cries out for...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LhEjfTBl5K4

Apparently Peter Kay actually just came up with 'Ave It' on the spot, and they changed the whole ad to keep it in.

MotM said...

What larks!

GG - "More a weapon than an instrument". Genius!

mimi - Punctuation error. I was carried into a reverie on the joy of visits to the West of Scotland, from the pine at Crianlarich where the train stopped at 6.30am, to the primeval seascape looking west from Oban.

Offside - I read recently that they banned mobile phones from Macha Piccu (is that right?). Parties would ascend (I'm imagining it like the opening scene of Aguirre - surely the best opening scene in cinema), the clouds would clear and that extraordinary scene in all its stillness was before them. The idyll would be shattered by a phone belting out "Crazy Frog".

How many posts? Anyone remember "The Black Hit of Space"?

marcela said...

bluedaddy, when the 'ave it clip finished i saw 'speed painting' offered on the little screen.

art as sport?

http://youtube.com/watch?v=LhEjfTBl5K4


motm, machu pichu or machu picchu. both are acceptable.

guitougoal said...

Let's do it, i don't care who she get married to if he pledges to not be talking to me while I am watching an Arse./Chelsea game, I'll take Mike Tyson as long as he does'nt bite my ears . I hate to say this and she is going to hate me for this but I welcome the dracula of boxing, the hannibal lecter of the prom if he is available on april 21st.There is no room for the capacity of indignation.
p.s sasha just call me she is camping by a river in arizona, I didn't think it was the right time to talk to her about her arranged wedding, i'll wait until she comes back.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

I wonder if Sasha realises how lucky she is to have a father who has only her best interest at heart.

And how thrilled she'll be to meet all of daddy's new cyber-friends.

greengrass said...

guitou -
I told you not to tell her!
motm -
a piper was allegedly worth ten riflemen in the trench warfare of WW1. The sight of a bloke in a skirt coming over the top, strangling a sheep, tended to put the other side off.

MotM said...

GG - Especially if they knew that he was coming to feed them porridge.

bluedaddy said...

I'm thinking the most Scottishest image ever would have to be Archie Gemmell replacing the geezer on the Scott's Porage Oats box, chipping a haggis over a prostrate Jan Jongbloed instead of putting the shot, and simultaneously skirling on the pipes.

marcela. try that speed painting link again if you can find it, as you reposted the Ave It link. I think Rolf Harris used to do a bit of speed painting on telly.

Can anyone remember what the topic is?

greengrass said...

bluedaddy -
I never knew Rolf Harris was on speed; that explains a lot.
gg

marcela said...

doh!

just when i thought i was getting really fast at it...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=8K_NQe57C-k

MotM said...

Bluedaddy - There's creatives in red braces standing around cappucino machines in Soho each getting paid more than the entire staff of an NHS ward, who can't come up with a re-branding like yous featuring Archie. You're in the wrong game (or, who knows, the right one!)

bluedaddy said...

Can't believe he got Fabien Barthez to sit still for so long.

One day I will stop relating every last thing to football.

But not yet.

bluedaddy said...

Sorry, my last post was related to Marcela's link. But dont worry it wasnt funny anyway.

Motm. Ad execs are an effing mystery to me. Where does all that money come from? Does advertising actually work? I'm loyal to about three brands in total - Branston pickle (when I havent made my own); Twinings Earl Grey tea (and tea is an habitual, comfort thing anyway); and errr... make that two brands.

MotM said...

Bluedaddy - I don't know where all the money comes from and I find the vast majority of ads utterly trite, but then you get an "Ave it!" or you get http://media.honda.co.uk/campaign/impossibleDream/index.html the film of which hits the 43 year-old motorcycling demographic very hard indeed.

PS I shall be loyal to Honda partly for the ad, and partly because the bike I have is v good indeed!

Anonymous said...

offside -
though I haven't (I swear!) been anywhere near what you so casually refer to as "recreational drugs", I get this recurring image of you single-handedly powering one of your Papuan craft across to L.A. for the wedding. I see Andy in the prow in full Hielan gear, strangling a tartan sheep to scare away the sharks, Ebren aft spinning four turntables to ward off evil spirits, BD conjuring Cordon Bleu from a primus and Marcela marathon-singing "Je t'aime - ma non plus" to keep you alive and kicking.
Yes - Spring is here...
gg

marcela said...

'je t'aime' ?!

Je Ne T'aime Plus, more likely:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zEZTuF1mnqs

which incidentally brings us full circle to Kusturica on Maradona, seeing Manu Chau is one of the musicians chosen by Diego to feature in and contribute to, the soundtrack...

see yous all in hollywood!!

guitougoal said...

anonymous gg, can't belive this conversation is still going on>
I can't get over the "love me tender' by andrewn on the bagpipes.I don't have time to set up the match made in heaven, the romeo and juliet stuff, I am on a rush now the supermarket bagger will do it.

greengrass said...

Sorry -
I meant "Je t'aime, moi non plus" with you, Marcela, doing a Jane Birkin.
Sorry, too, about the involuntary anonymity - I'm a duffer when it comes to these computer thingies.
gg

marcela said...

i knew what you meant, gg...
la birkin is all very well, but manu chau's bongo really IS the chosen one for the kustu/mara epic.

although elvis would be an arguably better choice...

Anonymous said...

theres a french photogropher who made a movie about roland garros in like 1981, mcenroe, noah and of course lendl and borg but i cant remember film namre or director. i liked it though

guitougoal said...

the only one i can think of is"la fabuleuse histoir de roland garros" but that was made in 1981 by charles gerard (actor not photographer).
je t'aime moi non plus yes -je suis venu te dire que je m'en vais yes yes- je vais, je viens dans le creux de tes reins....ouuuiiii!

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

Somebody get guitou a drink. Quick.

Anonymous said...

I suppose I'm far too late to revert to the original topic, but, football and film, two of my favourite subjects.

One that I don't think anyone's mentioned yet: there was a Tibetan movie five or six years ago called The Cup, about a group of Buddhist monks and their quest to locate a tv set on which to watch the (94?) World Cup. Not strictly speaking a football film, and I haven't seen it since it was first released, but I remember it being lovely.

On football as art, Bertolt Brecht once said (paraphrasing because I can't find the exact quote just now) that the experience of watching theatre should be like watching a boxing match. I suppose the reverse is also true in a way. Just wanted to add that to the mix.

-munni

greengrass said...

marcela -
thanks for the link; I enjoyed the Manu Chao.
If Maradona wants Elvis, I'm up for it as long as the Guitou Wedding Band are with me. I wonder if Elvis ever did a song called "The Hand of God"? If not, I'll write one - the ode of an embittered England fan.
gg

marcela said...

munni - The Cup was absolutely brilliant. I saw it when it came out (late 99?) and never again. Thanks for the reminder. Great film.

MotM said...

My kids like Shaolin Soccer, but I'm too busy blogging to watch it!

greengrass said...

I googled "Hand of God" and found a song called "Maradona" - not by Elvis, but by The Business. On their album "Hardcore Hooligans", with all their football-related songs, this "Oi!" band sings:

"Whatever you sniffed you wanted more
Now you can only score with a whore
All supplied by the hand of god..."

I heard them singing an excerpt from this ditty on Amazon; I won't be buying the album.

West Ham fans, apparently - Russel's friends, perhaps?

bluedaddy said...

Munni. thanks for the tip re The Cup. Sounds great. Have put it on my movie rental list, but is currently on order.

http://imdb.com/title/tt0201840/

for some info.

MotM said...

Has anyone mentioned the only rival to "The Club" in the sport / comedy crossover stakes? I refer to Michael Palin's Ripping Yarn. The whole half hour is on youtube and all things being well this link is part one with the others in the side bar.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sc0oLVsdWOk

I've seen this episode half a dozen times, but not for years. I'll watch again tonight.

guy anthome said...

You guys are nuts ! I am the guy who is used to show up late while you are sleeping and dreaming about marcela in her pencil skirt dancing with elvis on a bagpipes music in tahiti. I am used to do the closing . As a closer, i clean and leave but lately I have been frustrated, for the last three or four days I can't close the joint, you are still open for business.Are you crazy enough to say something here when you can do it somewhere else. I never did see anything like that. Please leave, go away it's been 4 or 5 days now , enough is enough.

MotM said...

GG - This post is like the credits on a 3D animation movie. Just when you think, "That's it - that's every possible piece of info" up comes some more.

I'm instilling (ha!) in my kids, the habit of staying in the cinema to watch the credits to honour those who worked for our pleasure - but some of these sequences are films in themselves.

See you here again soon.

greengrass said...

guitou - a taproom is a taproom; you can be sure that you started the flow, but you can never be sure you can stop it. Lock-in!
gg

guy anthome said...

Motm-ex greengrass ex cough ex whatever,
gg, being a janitor is doing me some good , not because of the money but the learning. Some guys leave their computers on and I am sneaking through their stuff. I have to tell you what I learned today about you:they say you were kicked out of school or something like that and you need some kind of therapy , that you are crying for attention, and affection.They said, no more affection but rejection. No more attention but detention. I believe if my english is correct, you are in trouble:
banned to be Elvis for 6months.Sorry mate.

Anonymous said...

g.a is guitougoal

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

You're not gonna close the joint now, are you? I'm only just getting warmed up. The day is young.

MotM said...

I'm getting confused about names now. For a moment, I thought I was marcela, but seems I'm just Mouth. (The quality of the writing was the giveaway!).

There seem to be a lot of Gs, but, so be it, the more the merrier!

guy anthome said...

Motm. this is the point, we are all getting confused-
To be or not to be friends? are we friends to the extend that we all able to get alone after England/France...tomorow? are we able to rise if our team falls?
I think France should get a 10 points handicap for playing in your house. I mean, your are the host, you invented the game, the fair play, you are the gentlemen you should at least let them have 2 or 3 more players on the field.These french guys are nice nothing to do with the wenger-clique, they loose they still buy you diner.
I love rugby, you shoot above the goal post you still get 3 points.

guy anthome said...

"get along" instead of get alone...lapsus calamity....

bluedaddy said...

Ahh. The Marcela Blog. It's starting to feel like the name for a state of mind now. Jazz is playing. Pencil skirts are a la mode. The chat is passionate, but free to the point of dissonance, and all the better for it. The booze is varied, but rarely far from the hand or lips (tonight was Spanish cider, then Rioja - with tapas of lamb, octopus, jamon, chickpeas) or thoughts.
And the movie of choice? Well take a flick through the blog and see - Multiplex doesnt even begin to describe the cinema required for this crowd!

MOTM. My kids insist we stay to the end and if the closing credits music is good, they go down the front and dance.

My son (7 yrs) came in tonight jigging away listening to a little FM radio. "Dad, Dad - listen to this, it's great"
Dont Stop Til You Get Enough by Michael Jackson. Brilliant. I nearly wept for joy.

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

bluedaddy,

must be in the air at the moment. Mrs Offside has been torturing me for the past couple of days with her collection of oldies, including that one.

I don't think the closing credits are coming on anytime soon here. This one is open all night.

marcela said...

i would like to refer you all (is anyone out there...?) to one of my favourite ever 'comments' - which adu believe might be the backbone of the greatest sport movie ever made. sadly, it was posted by someone who either no longer blogs or has changed their username...

you can find it by googling 'BifidusDigestivum wallace guardian'; in the more recent Estudiantes thread you will find it re-posted by me at around 7.29 pm on December 22nd, towards the tail end of the thread...

you must all read BifidusDigestivum. As Pondwatching said on that same thread: "Even at 2 or 3 in the morning while most of us stared at our screens with blood-shot eyes, his 'free-styling' bomb was as refreshing as a head dip in a mountain stream".

if you can't be bothered with the googlebit:

http://blogs.guardian.co.uk/sport/2006/12/21/estudiantes_provide_light_amid.html

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

who else is out there but the night watchman from Tahiti?

Marcela,

I remember reading it around World Cup time, the cherry on the cake in one of the most cracking threads ever. Pure Rock'n'Roll.

greengrass said...

This taproom is heaving - what a cure for a Manchester United-induced hangover (we won, 2-2, by the way).
Guitou -
if it's up to me, we will still be friends after the match. We Rosbifs excel in failure and self-flagellation, and I expect you lot to thrash us today. I met some Frenchmen and Italians yesterday during the footy game - here in Stockholm for a weekend, in the pub for an all-day rugby extravaganza.
The Italians fervently hoped that we would win today - then they will have a chance of winning the 6 Nations! They were great company, and we all made a date in the same pub for today's rugby game.
Marcela -
what a link!
Barmaid -
a Fernet Branca/Red Bull, please!
gg

MotM said...

The bookies have the Rosbifs to lose by 7-9 points today. That would be my forecast if we had our best XV available. As it is, despite Mike Catt who ought to have been first choice at centre for th last three years, I feel a 13 - 27 defeat looming. Mais Les Francais, qui connait? Or something like that.

BD - There's a whole generation growing up who only know Michael Jackson as a freak show. Watch their faces as they realise that Justin Timberlake is to MJ as Shakin Stevens is to Elvis. "Let me show you the way to go" - indeed.

greengrass said...

MotM -
"our best XV"?
Please elaborate!
gg

MotM said...

GG - Injuries all over the pitch. They are still playing Premiership games on weekends between Six Nations fixtures! You think the FA is badly run until you look at the RFU.

Showpiece game like this, just before a World Cup Defence and 11 changes from a fortnight ago! Scandalous mismanagement at every level.

greengrass said...

BD -
I never imagined that Michael Jackson
could give us magic moments - marvellous!
gg

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

Michael Jackson, c'est de la merde.

bluedaddy said...

How wrong can one Frenchman be?

MotM said...

BD - Don't know. 15 + Subs got it pretty wrong at Twickenham today!

guy anthome said...

Bluedad;1 frenchman wong, 15 frenchmen very wrong what about 50 millions? hopeless that why offside moved out....

olivier said...

offsideintahiti said...

I always wanted to be a music critic. Sadly, the French media weren't ready for such radical views and high-level of analysis.

I'm too good for them, I tell ya.

pipita said...

Ouch, that Mjackson song takes me back to my military service days. That can never bring fond memories back. For that matter, Id rather be reminded of Chic's "Good Times" tremendous bass playing on that one

MotM said...

Chic and MJ remind me of teenage parties. The tang on my lips and tongue of lipstick overlaid with lager and lime and tobacco is still the most erotic sensual sensation of all!

Youth - wasted on the young.

pipita said...

I say Mouth, the effects disco music had on you!!!! Dont tell me you were also an english version of tony manero

MotM said...

Pipita - I wish!

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