Henry drifts into the box, Hoyte spots his run with a lovely chipped pass and – boom – over the bar, unmarked from five yards.
Hasslebank hits a shot from the edge of the 18-yard box. Throw in.
"My gran could do better than that!"
Could they? I mean it's a reasonable question. Just how much better than us mere mortals are the professionals?
In any Premiership, international, Serie A, or La Liga game I watch I see passes misplaced that I could make. People out of position, taking the wrong option, and conceding possession cheaply. So how did this bunch of losers end up earning millions while I am forced to pay to play football on a Wednesday night.
Well, one day I found out.
They say you should never meet your heroes, as they will just let you down.
They are wrong.
Last season when my team of also-rans turned up for a fixture there were a couple of guys warming up with us on the pitch before the game - I assumed they were part of the opposition and didn't pay much attention to them. More members of the opposition turned up and we had a game.
Fifteen seconds in, they score.
Thirty seconds later they score again.
I realised about then there was something very familiar about one of the members of the opposition. I had stood on a terrace at Kingsmeadow and watched him tear an opposition defence to shreds for 88 minutes with a 7 on his back. That opposition was Fulham in a pre-season friendly, Kingstonian won 1-0 thanks to a Maz goal. (http://www.truropacket.co.uk/display.var.620007.0.0.php )
Here is a quote from the Aldershot manager about him:
"He is slightly zany and a bit unconventional and he has a stack of tricks. He has probably under achieved in his career so far [Kingstonian record - played 70, scored 15, playing from right wing]. I spoke to Ian Mac [Kingstonian manger] and he said to me that Maz could be anything he wanted to be. He has all the talent in the world but it is up to him to make the most of that talent."
He was 22.
He scored 12.
Towards the end of the first half I tracked him across the park, and blocked a shot. It almost tore my leg off.
There was a glimmer of hope after they scored their second, when we made it 2-1, but that was about as close as we got to being in the contest.
They say you should never meet your heroes - they are wrong. You should never play against them.