Otto’s Odyssey - 50-K

Ex FC Narvik striker and inventor of the goal celebration Otto Bredesen has a lot to answer for: "Scoring a goal can only be comparable to sex and like any good orgasm the secret is in trying to prolong the moment," he explained in the now derelict stadium on the rugged border shared by Norway and Sweden . Translated loosely as "Otto's vinegar-strokes moment," http://www.milkinfirst.com/dictionary/v.htm he timed the game's virgin celebration to excellent effect in league season 1967/68 a mere two weeks after the introduction of colour television across Europe . The Norwegian second division hadn't seen publicity like it since the expansion from twelve to fourteen clubs in the previous decade and Otto went on to perform a variety of dual-armed salutes, amorous yet imaginary kisses to the crowds and his autograph - the two yard knee slide - all in amazing Technicolor. Since those exciting yet innocent times, goal commemorations have ranged from the sublime to the ridiculous and Otto is bemused at the craze that he so innocently started. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FB_Mkb4Ixmo

Throughout the decades, fans have been treated to magic and momentous moments of post goal derangement; the defining moment for many epitomised in the undiluted ecstasy emanating from that goal by Marco Tardelli - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OZdw-9nNUpw – every time it’s repeated - TV’s need to be unplugged to cool down from the dangerous levels of testosterone. Recent comparisons could do worse than Stuart Pearce’s strained cry of the bulldog after finally netting a penalty, although he looks far more the ex-electrician than the passionate, emotionally charged Latin. Fist pumping, taunting, laughing, acting the goat (literally) - you name it – it’s been done, rehearsed and then done again.

Inevitably, controversy has often followed these moments like an unwanted bedfellow with referees and coaches having to control over-exuberant acts that have threatened the image of the game. On other occasions celebrations have caused debate on the front pages, condemnation and sometimes just plain confusion: Ex England assistant-manager and pioneer of new technology Steve Mclaren was unusually baffled by his own statistics after one pre-World Cup game, having to send back his prozone results to the Texan laboratory. Prozone famously charts the average position of players on the pitch throughout the game but Mclaren hadn’t factored in time when the ball wasn’t in play. As a result of this his post match insistence that “Crouchy was everywhere in that game” was correct if only he had added the caveat, “in his goal celebrations.” Bewilderment reigned again only last week as Craig Bellamy wheeled away in the Nou Camp penalty area announcing his “golf swing” to the watching millions. After the game and following considerable pressure from team-mates he confessed, "I lost control for a few seconds,” and rightly so. Golfing coach David Leadbetter explains, “This sends out the completely wrong sort of message to youngsters; how are we supposed to attract more people to the game of golf after that? His technique was terrible;.” Leadbetter has a valid point and pressure has increased on the goal scorer to round things off with choreography that is not only artistic but also technically proficient.

Despite or maybe even because of the negative publicity, there’s no denying that the beautiful game now needs a goal celebration; so whether it’s a seven foot robot, Fowler’s snort, Gazza’s visit to the dentist, Klingsman’s dive, Bebeto’s baby or that bloke who played for Fulham’s mask; it’s time to finally salute you Sir Otto Bredesen. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=74T82y7pRuA