Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Blogoholics Anonymous - Mimitig and MouthoftheMersey

The following transcribes a meeting of a new support group held in Second Life at GU Towers Island.

MotM - Hello, my name is MouthoftheMersey and I’m a blogoholic.

Mimi - Hello, my name is Mimitig and I worry I might be getting hooked, but I can go more than 24 hours without a blog.

Sean - Hello, my name is Sean and I’m your counsellor for tonight.

Sean - Tell me. How did you start blogging?

MotM - I was introduced to it by a friend. I started with a little social posting, you know, complaining about anti-Everton bias, routine stuff. But then I started blogging heavily - hour-long binge sessions on Giles vs Monty for the First Test. I was naïve: I thought I could handle it.

Mimi - I fell into it by chance. I was missing my fix of OBO and trawling the GU site for something to amuse me, I discovered the SportsBlog.

Sean - Does it interfere with your work, your family life?

MotM - I started sneaking out of meetings to post regular updates arguing the case against Manchester United on Rob Smyth articles. Soon I was citing phantom appointments to stay at my desk posting clips to the YouTube column. I guess I really began to recognise that I had a problem when I started blogging before work on David Conn articles so dense less than 2% of the readership understand them.

Mimi - I lost touch with my family during the recent Ashes and CB Series. They simply didn’t understand how important it was to sleep all day and spend all night in the company of people I’ve never met.

Sean - Who do you blame for your problem?

MotM - Obviously, I blame myself. I should have listened to friends and family - I guess I was in denial.

Mimi - it’s absolutely not my fault, but I couldn’t name and shame the evil pushers who have encouraged my participation.

Sean - What do you propose to do about it?

MotM - I'm going to continue to seek help. I know I’m not alone. I’ll take each day as it comes. Can’t wait for Gideon Haigh on the Super Eights…. Oh, damn!

Mimi - I can’t think about that now. I have a World Cup to worry about ….

Patient notes

MotM’s and Mimi’s condition is not thought to be fatal, although it is clear that long-term therapeutic intervention is required. Referral to the BBC’s Sports Live coverage would be a positive step in addressing their addiction, although the cold turkey of the Daily Telegraph would probably result in a hostile reaction and an attack directly focussed on Rob Smyth’s Myspace page.

Having taken legal advice, I can confirm that GU is unlikely to be found liable in suit, although the law is still at an early stage of development.

The fallback position to cure any patient diagnosed with obsessive desire to participate in citizen journalism remains exposure to Alan Greene on 606. Should that prove necessary, I cannot be responsible for the consequences.

36 comments:

offside said...

Hello, my name is offside and I'm offside.

Ebren said...

Does this make me a pusher?

Excellent.

Blog anyone? Fiver a time? I'll give you three for a spin.

Now, I'm going to sit back and enjoy my dealer lifestyle.

What?

Oh.

MotM said...

Ebren - You might need to borrow JonnyBoy's new motor to enjoy your new lifestyle fully!

Margin said...

90% of all pushers are addicts too, having started to deal to feed their own habit.

50KaWeekSub said...

Juggling a day job, social life, 1 year old son, Big Blogger, GU, missus and now Ebren's site - this was strangely apt.

Thanks for wasting more of my time.

Addicted/50K

andrewm said...

Yes, the blog has taken over my life without doubt. My brother told me the other day that he'd met someone who followed the GU blog, and when he told this chap that his brother (me) was on the blog the guy guessed it was andrewm straight away. I don't know if that's good or bad, or just weird and unsettling.

pipita said...

Must confess I started worrying myself the other day when my 7 year old daughter addressed me by the name of pipita

MotM said...

Pipita - When your seven-year-old refers to you as "that guy in front of the computer" is the time to start worrying.

mimi said...

Actually I find it quite worrying when I wake suddenly in the middle of the night thinking about some brilliantly witty email I should have sent to the OBO!

MotM said...

mimi - there were some you didn't send????!!!!

mimi said...

Mouth: ooh yes, and I'm doing terribly badly with Lawrence today. To make it worse, I don't think Hussey is even going to get a hit today which scuppers my chances of a bag of points in the league!

Zeph said...

This is a very funny piece, guys, and so true, so sad but true ....

guy anthome said...

Great blend, The duo works, you should go on a
tour, mimi get the pencilskirt from marcela, Mouth put on your overall, you are a wordsmith.guitou.

mimi said...

guy: thank you. Forget the pencil skirt, a mere smidgin of Marcela's charm would change my life!

pipita said...

Talking of which, where the heck is Marcela??????Havent come across her in either blog for two days now

andrewm said...

Pipita, I marvel that Marcela even gives us the time of day, let alone sends articles to this blog, comments profusely, and even joins in our ridiculous email banter. Perhaps she's interviewing Hernan for a GU article?

mimi said...

pipita: could it be that Marcela actually has a life?!

Ebren said...

mimi - this is shocking. OBO mentions are easier than a drunk Paris Hilton, and there are more cheap notches than on a matalan belt.

I might send that in.

guitougoal said...

marcela? she is the wordsmith, in fact we should leave her alone whatever she is up to has to be something good.

andrewm said...

By the by, it's great to see collaboration between posters, especially between the Duke and Duchess of the OBO. Community spirit is alive and well :)

honolulu said...

Hello, my name is honolulu and I, too, am an addict.
It has been over a year since I first sent a comment to the Fiver and I have relished every wasted second since.

Ebren, my Dr. Feelgood, thank you!

mimi and mouth- you guys are hilarious. I wonder if Ingle ("Boss") will ever see this.

offside said...

Dr Feelgood?

Ebren is more like Dr Frankenstein. His creature is running amok.

andrewm said...

Nice work Ebren!

I was about to complain that Booth hadn't printed my oh-so-interesting email on the MBM, but then he did. Ah well, it's been a while since I got one through the GU defences.

mimi said...

offside: I think it was Sean who unleashed the beast.
Ebren simply provides a safe and contained environment in which we can operate. Thereby saving the world at large from our wild and dangerous ramblings. Best not to make sudden movements around us!

Ebren said...

my thanks mimi - but there is a crowd of pitch-fork wielding, torch-bearing angry villagers approaching.

MotM said...

Ebren - Love that Matalan line: very OBOable.

Whilst the currency of an OBO mention is somewhat devalued in this orgy of World Cup coverage (though mimi has the equivalent of a wheelbarrow-load of Reichsmarks, which adds up to something), I'm rather proud of a notch yesterday and another today at the Live Cheltenham coverage. Perhaps not a Versace belt notch, but maybe an Aquascutum.

There's two more days left of Cheltenham coverage - I won't be at a computer. The challenge is there for mimi or another to match or beat two!

PS - thanks for the kind words guys and gals. The collaboration was fun. I've sent a piece for Ebren which he may print on Friday which I hope will start a bit of a round-robin.

mimi said...

But are they leather-clad, whip-wielding GU hacks?

mimi said...

Just to elaborate: there's been an email from Tom Lutz telling me Glendinning is more than partial to the whole whips and chains bit.
I wasn't simply going off into some fantasy land in which as Queen of the OBO I recklessly apply punishment to the GU Boys. No, no, no.
Would I?

miro said...

Who is Sean? Is he a blogoholic? Or Sean Barry? Or, why not, is He Mimiting caught both offside and wrong footed in the middle of Pacific?

I just wonder.

greengrass said...

This is a grand thread!
I'm not much for the obo these days
- more of a basson man. I have, however, on occasion managed to pierce their close-set field with a cut to the off(side).
I have thieved this hastily-penned ditty from my own thread; someone said it belongs on here, and I agree:

offside -
it's all down to who is doing the counselling bit.
Maybe we get the Blogaholic counsellors we deserve:
(sings, ruminatively)
I'm hoping for Harry,
I might get Barry.
We blogaholics
Have had our frolics.
When every wife
Says "Get a life!",
We come round here,
And now it's clear:

(All hell breaks loose in a community chorus):

We must stop posting!
We must stop posting!
We must stop posting!
It's time to move.
We must stop posting!
We must stop posting!
We must start finding
A better groove...

Scratch solo by 4tt, cocktail-shaker maraccas by Offside, posters cariboogie-
ing all over the place...
March 14, 2007 11:40 AM
Greengrass

guitougoal said...

gg- end of the party, here come the janitor cleaning and mumbling :" stop posting! stop posting! start finding! these bloggers must be crazy, what are they talking about? all I know is: keep sweeping!"

mimi said...

gg: revisit OBO. Tonight with Andy, I've been rehabilitated and am now the voice of political conscience rather than the one who lowers the tone.
Worth a visit, even though not a meaningful game.

reemgear said...

Arguing about sport....
or
Work...

Hmm.

I think I'll take the "addiction".
Anyway I can handle it, unlike you lot: I mean, arguing about cricket selections?

It's just a bit of football for me, nothing I can't deal with - it's normal.

honolulu said...

Good luck tomorrow, MouthoftheMersey! I think you will be able to pull yourself away from the blogs long enough to watch the game?!?!

MotM said...

Honolulu - We might need that luck. I can tear myself away from the Blogs, but can I get out from behind the sofa?

MotM said...

Honolulu - We got that bit of luck, and boy, did we use it!

Tweet it, digg it