Sunday, March 18, 2007

Footballers – HannibalBrooks

By Martin Quirk (HannibalBrooks)

I got Subbuteo for my sixth birthday, but a career-ending injury crisis struck both teams after just ten minutes. My three year old brother ‘borrowed’ all the little men, except for the goalkeepers, to staff his convoy of new Matchbox cars. He ‘had’ to snap each little man off his ‘flick to kick’ base, so their tiny feet could reach the pedals. My new birthday present had been reduced to the level of blow football, which I already knew just gave you a headache and was about as much fun to play as having one.

Mum saved the day, with an inspired improvisation using the silver foil from a Kit-Kat, a shoe box and a few packets of A&BC football cards hastily fetched from Hilda’s, the corner shop. In that moment of genius my mum invented the basis for a game that was to provide me with more blissful hours of compelling entertainment than Subbuteo or any other shop-bought toy, for the rest of my childhood years.

‘Footballers’ was the generic name for the thousands of football cards that I would collect during the 1970s and also, like ‘Life’, it was ‘the name of the game’ that I alone, it seems, used to play with them.

Kevin Keegan, Malcolm MacDonald, Gordon Banks, Peter Osgood, Charlie George and my boyhood hero, Ian Callaghan, complete with a rectangular sliver of pink bubble gum, all for the princely sum of just three ‘new’ pence. Although, in the interests of historical accuracy, such a single transfer scoop would be like finding a unicorn’s egg inside a Lucky Bag. All too often each unopened packet, although perpetually anointed with the promise of glorious bounty, usually yielded just another Ernie Hunt, the original Frank Lampard, maybe a young Alex Ferguson or worst of all, a pointless bloody ‘checklist’. But, any packet containing a Liverpool player would lend the whole day an air of mystical resonance.

The goalposts for the game were made from a shoebox cut in half and the ball from any piece of tin foil that was to hand, usually the lining from a cigarette packet. The pitch could be any carpeted floor that was big enough. Shag pile was useless. The grass was too long and its effect upon play was the same as having a water-logged pitch.

The Subbuteo ‘flick to kick’ principle applied to Footballers too, in that the bottom corners of each player’s card acted as their feet, which was why a carpeted playing surface was absolutely essential. Holding the attacking player in the right hand and the defending player in the left, the ball was passed by flicking it with each players right or left foot. The back-heel was a potentially standard skill, but since imagination played a large part in the authenticity of the game, this was reserved only for cheeky players like Stan Bowles or Duncan Mackenzie.

A right footed player would evolve into a more naturally left footed one as wear and tear took its toll upon his fragile cardboard body, a process that conversely made goalkeepers more agile and daring, and therefore better, as their flexibility and athleticism increased. Free-kick specialists could be developed by folding one cardboard foot at a slight angle that would enable the ball to be lifted over the wall, formed in a similar way to a ‘house of cards’ by the defending team, while my left hand was busy helping an anxious goalkeeper.

The obligatory running commentary for every match was provided by David Coleman, my own impression preceding Chris Barrie’s on Spitting Image by a decade. The crowd noise came from my still cherished ’Kop Choir’ LP.

‘Footballers’ was far more authentic than any other football game around at the time and represented a triumph of childhood imagination over marketing and merchandising. As I often used to say on David Coleman’s behalf…‘One-Nil!’

78 comments:

greengrass said...

Nice one, Hannibal - I can just see you as the ref, inspecting the match carpet and giving the the shag pile the thumbs down. Maybe, later, the results on the radio: "Liverpool versus Everton, shagged off".
P.S. Did you get the red card the other day on GU, or just a yellow?
P.P.S: A bloke named "Quirk" was a source of inspiration in my childhood. We - a bunch of Prod kids - had a match (Rugby League) against a Catholic school. He was the teacher in charge of their team, and his enthusiasm made a lasting impression on me.
Greengrass

MotM said...

Hannibal - My brothers and I lacked the imagination to work up a whole game, but I recognise your conjured visions of childhood versions of football.

My own kids don't seem as keen as we were on football, but whenever they get a chance, they use whatever available to fashion a simulacrum of football - is this tendency in the human genome?

Great to see you here.

Anonymous said...

Great stuff HB. I will come back later, as have got to do the daddy thing on Mother's day.

Ally your game to 'sock football' and you have a whole childhood of indoor play.

Playstation! Shitestation more like.

bluedaddy said...

Ack!! Anon was me,

BD

kokomo said...

Hey there hb

This is going to show up my age, which is slightly younger than your good self, but my days of playing subbuteo are enlivened with memories of bryan robson having no head or arms, ossie ardiles being stuck down to the base with about a kilo weight of glue, and the magical acquisition of a scoreboard, which meant we could have mystical european aways, with the lights on dimmer switch, against the likes of dynamo bucharest.

I was always a clumsy bugger though, and even last christmas when my brother's wife bought him a retro subbuteo kit (our childhood game had mysteriously disappeared, i reckon my dad flogged it), i managed to tread on one of the players.

Also, the adventg of a luton-inspired astro-turf kit revolutionised our game.

Along with test match cricket (complete with our own scoreboard, devised on our bbc computer), and 'teddy football' and 'ping-pong football' (both essentially indoor football played with either a teddy or a ping pong ball in my bedroom) are the cornerstones of my childhood memories. (the other, is when we first saw 'escape to victory' on an easter sunday, and we went straight out to play on a nearby field (which was normally used for horse shows - i lived in the country), and played with this orange plastic ball we had, which was slightly under-inflated, meaning that you could really whack it and it stayed low, and as a keeper you could pluck it out of the air.

I was quite a decent youth player, culminating in an unsuccessful trial for sheffield united (the bastards), but i swear, that day with the orange plastic ball after escape to victory was the best i ever played...)

The flat ball makes the ardiles trick much easier too...

we are allowed to reminisce on this one aren't we? Not going to get accused of being a liverpool fan lusting after days of yore?

mimi said...

Ah Hannibal: takes me right back to my own childhood. Never a football fan at that age, I devised a very similar type of game for The Grand National, with erasers as the racehorses, and anything I could lay my hands on for the jumps. Beechers Brook, as I recall involved a large box of household matches, an old Navy Cut tobacco tin and a bit of green plastic fencing nicked from my sister's dollshouse!
Happy days.

pipita said...

Wonderful nostalgic piece Hannibal. After watching Roger Waters play "dark side of the moon" live last night at the River stadium, reading this just kept me frozed in the 70's. Me and an argie friend who had also lived in England introduced subbuteo in Argentina-well, maybe other kids were playing it here as well, but I very much doubt that- We had an eight team league with invented teams and players. No doubt an important part of my pre-adolescent life that game. Same with football cards, which were responsible for my initial attraction to football when I was a kid. Thanks for the Duncan Mckenzie mention, probably the closest thing to Johann Cruyff Goodison ever saw

andrewm said...

KK, I had a player with half a head in my Aberdeen side, who I decided was probably Davie Dodds.

Great stuff HB - did you send this to GU?

andrewm said...

Healthy amount of links provided as well HB. Nice work.

hannibalbrooks said...

Thanks for your comments everyone and especially to James 4tt Ebren for putting this up so soon. I never sent this or anything else in to Big Blogger. I was going to send this in but changed my mind when I realised that it was 150 odd words over the limit. Just completing this, my first piece, was all the reward that I needed.

It seems that I was red carded from GU on Friday afternoon, which as anybody who saw what went on will know, was very wrong of a certain Mr Smyth, or whoever was moderating. Since I did nothing wrong or even slightly naughty.

I've made a complaint to the appropriate person (ie not Sean) and am waiting to see what they do about it.

Further attempts to re-register (as RedDaddy, JohnColtrane and BocaJuniors) have proved futile, so unless my appeal is upheld, then I will not be back on GU until either I move house or get a new IP address it seems, which wont be any time soon.

See you all on here in the meantime though.

Big Luv and thanks again

Martin (SirOllie/HB) x

Ebren said...

Seriously HB?

They have managed to block you no matter what email address you use?

That's rather clever of them.

You could try signing up not at home, then seeing if it will let you log on at home.

Failing that, start a blog complaing about the fact you are banned, possibly calling it banned then organising a resitence, and starting a rival sports blog seems like a fun alternative ;o)

mimi said...

Hannibal, guys: lay off Smyth and don't give him a hard time. He's had death threats, for god's sake as a result of some the pieces he's written for GU. Some kindness to strangers required.

greengrass said...

Hannibal -
that's me and thee banned thrice apiece. I would be unsportsmanlike of me to risk a ban until you are up and running again.
GG

honolulu said...

Dumb question, but have you tried an alternate email address?

Anyways, this was a really sweet piece, totally unexpected from someone who called me a "homo" (I'm a girl, by the way); well and amusingly written. Thanks for the links, too.

Given that it is Mother's Day in Britain, Ebren did a great job by posting this for today and recognizing your mother's heroics.

andrewm said...

mimi, no-one condones death threats but the fact remains that GU scribes use their banning powers randomly and their "wit" poorly.

HB - we need you back on GU.

mimi said...

Well I don't know what you lot do to get yourselves banned!
I've had more than one public slapping on GU/OBO but they've never banned me. I think that there are boundaries that you lot must have transgressed. Reading a wide selection of blogs, my mind boggles, it truly does, as to what you've done.
Search your consciences, I'd say.

marcela said...

loved this piece - and as honolulu says, particularly apt to celebrate mum's ingenuity on this day... !

pipita, you are not the first argentinian male of a certain age who claims to have introduced this particular brand of the game in our country. hate to dissapoint you...

rather like the idea of a retro set. we have a vintage table football which only works with original subbuteo balls. but the inspired idea of using excess swapees has gone down a treat already in this household, so hours of fun ahead to endure the snow blizzards coming our way.

really good to read it here, as well.

well done, SirOllie :)

andrewm said...

mimi, I've never been banned myself, but with respect you're not as involved in the blog as many of us are.

We take it too seriously, we say things we shouldn't - we get banned.

You OBOers wouldn't understand that :o)

BlueinBetis said...

Great piece Hannibal,
And what a lovely site. I've visited a few times, but never left comments.

And now I'm going to be really cheeky, and leave one for Honolulu. I read something today that you left ages ago....

YOU'RE GOING TO BOLGATANGA!!!!

What's the name of the hotel?
When do you leave?
Have you been there before?
Who is your friend?

So many questions.... Answer all of them now! Will check back later.

pipita said...

Hnnibal
Hope to see you re-admitted soon in GU blog, but must confess Im glad your Boca Juniors application was rejected.As if it werent enough to endure you as one of the liverpool mafia there, now it transpires your also a Bostero...

Marcela
Welocome back. You seem absolutely convinced about that. More details please

kokomo said...

mimi - i like a lot of mr smyth's work, but it is hard not to believe that there is something a bit personal between him and quirk.

First off, sirollie was banned ages ago for something fairly innocuous, but it was on a smyth blog. Then hb was banned a couple of weeks ago for a very, very innocuous joke about david o'leary getting ireland through to the quarter finals of the cricket world cup with a penalty. That one was even on topic for me.

Then, the third banning, was for absolutely nothing. And i mean nothing. He made a couple of comments on a henrik larson blog, about the swede i think, or at least on topic, and perfectly legit. I can only think that he was banned because they are sick of him, because he is a personality on the blog, or for whatever reason. Very petty, all in all.

marcela - it was just a normal kit, though with 80's stadium and terrace and manager's in sheepskin jackets.

Did anyone ever flick it so hard that the ball split in half? We had a rule that if one half of the ball found the net it counted (bit like luis garcia). In time, all our balls were precariously glued together, and it became a legitimate tactic to fool the goalie by 'splitting' the ball.

Ah, those days, when the beach was the place to go..

bluedaddy said...

BlueinBetis,
Good to see you here. I've seen your comments on GU, and you always have something worth saying, or a well aimed witty barb. I need another Blue on here to hijack a Liverpool thread when it eventually comes. With kokomo (aka MyGrandFathaandMe), Andrewm and Brooks on here, I hesitate to take them on alone.

Be warned that regular visits here will eventually mean being browbeaten to contribute a piece of your own. My article will pop up this week after I fail to make the grade on the last Big Blogger. I now want to rewrite my piece (I wonder if Dicky Williams ever feels that way?), as it is too clunky and could have been much better.

kokomo, nothing much worse than gluing your balls together and then flicking them til they split. Or so I've heard. Surely there is a website to cover that subject?

mimi said...

Well, I've just faced the wrath of bloggers - surely not any of you - due to my deciding that the Brand thread was no longer funny cos of Bob Woolmer's death. To be honest, I'd rather have a slapping from the GU hacks, than take the stick from the bloggers.
Scarey.

kokomo said...

bluedaddy - aye, and it didn't half smart when we did it again last christmas. Must have been more supple when we were kids.

greengrass said...

I may be wrong, I may be paranoid, but I get the feeling that bannings come more easily if a poster questions something that the author of an article has written.
Couth was banned after mildly criticising the author for jibing at Alan Smith before Smith had had a chance to prove his worth after a long injury period.
It seems that this is regarded as a cardinal sin, and that Hannibal has also been found guilty - and excommunicated.
mimi -
you can't be blamed for not knowing. My subjective assessment is that we have been banned for allegedly being off-topic, for displays of humour not dissimilar
to the humour displayed by the journos themselves, for questioning
the verity or fairness of assertions made by various journos - not for racism, sexism or personal abuse.
I am certain that we all deplore death threats.
One major problem is that there are
no yellow cards/warnings, only red cards/bans - and now, perhaps, the blocking of ip-addresses. Another problem is that there is a lack of consistency in bannings. A third problem is the lack of transparency
bannings are seldom openly discussed or justified.
But we do feel that we have genuine grievances.
That will do for now. Maybe other posters - banned or not - will tell you more if you want to know.
GG

BlueinBetis said...

Daddio,

Thanks for the welcome! I will accede to the demand that I write something, but feel it will be only very slightly sports related. I try to keep to sports, but my brain keeps getting sidetracked...also seeing the style/topics covered on BB has scared me more. The winners have all been good pieces, but I could never write anything remotely like that.

Some of the stuff here has been wonderful though. And I'm with Greengrass on the strange rules. The racist/sexist thing is particularly strange. I've seen many a post that made me wonder.

Liverpool thread, how strange. Don't think I've ever seen one of those... Now those Arsenal Kids are good though, aren't they?

Honolulu, Bolgatanga, tell me more!!

Damn, where is that girl?

honolulu said...

BlueinBetis! Hello, glad to see ya here!

Yes, Bolga- my friends are Kirstin (since we were 2 years old) and Linda- both of them Peace Corps volunteers. I've never been to Ghana, but I was a volunteer in Cameroon (Kaele and Dschang), Allez les Lions!, and have seen all of that country as well as some of Tchad and Nigeria. I was in Yaounde when the Lions won their second ANC in a row, this time in Mali. The greatest, biggest party I'd ever been to- 2 million people and all hell breaking loose.

If you go for ANC next winter, the rates are v. reasonable and they will probably (definitely me) put you to work in some community development project. Everyone is invited, obviously, but tix will be tricky to secure. Have you been to Bolga? To Ghana?

I can't wait... for the Indomitable Lions to kick some ass, again, finally...

BlueinBetis said...

Honolulu,

I was a volunteer in Bolgatanga, lived there for nearly two years. Not Peace core though, wrong nationality and all that. I was out there again for Christmas and New Year this year. It was like going back home, really great time. But unfortunately far too expensive to go again for the Black Stars fifth title! I'm sure Ghana will make you welcome and by the end of the time you won't even feel bad that your Lions have proven (once again) that are domitable after all. (Is that a word?) My money's on Ghana to beat Ivory Coast in the final.

Are there any games in the North of the country? I would imagine they will be playing perhaps in Tamale, but mostly in Kumasi and Accra, which means at least an eight hour bus journey. Tamale at least is two to three from Bolga.

Kumasi stadium is great, they have a section where it's legal to smoke weed! So that on match days when the game kicks off at four everyone goes at nine am to get seats in the stoners section. And then sit there getting wasted, under the African sun, for hours before kick off. AAh happy days.

Keep me informed of any news you have about Bolga. It's a great place, before you go I'll teach you some Frafra, the local language, if you like.

I'm jealous, really jealous.

marcela said...

blueinbetis -
the weed section of kumasi stadium is a 500 worder i personally cannot wait for!!

submit, if you please, complete with all trimmings...

an organic thread indeed!

Zephirine said...

Re: banning etc... the good thing about this site is that so far the people who regularly post comments are also prepared to make the effort to write articles, so we all put ourselves on the line.

There's no 'authority figures' who write articles and 'general public' who are only allowed to read and comment on said articles.

The author of a Pseudscorner article isn't going to ban you if you say something harsh about their piece - they're most likely going to be hurt and depressed. So far everybody has understood this and we've had good supportive comments, without getting soppy/indulgent with each other. I guess it's less combative than some GU threads, but that's fine by me.

And going off-topic, of course, is normal... or even compulsory.

honolulu said...

No way- that is so, so, so rad.

I don't mind long bushtaxi rides- I have an inflatable seat/pillow-thing and an iPod. I saw most of the games in Cameroon in the local "circuit" (and last year, in cafes in Fes) and imagine I will probably see most of them like that in Bolga - the quality of the matches is so spotty, often it is the company that keeps them entertaining.

And Kirstin supports the Black Stars, but doesn't know what (although she doesn't know :who,: either) "offside" is, poor thing, so I will probably go to see the games on my own. Wearing my sleeveless, "illegal" Cameroon kit. And keeping my knees covered. (?!?! )

I would like to see the Final and as many Cameroon and Cote d'Ivoire games as possible (francophones are hardcore) but I suspect you will be right about the outcome- unless injuries overwhelm them, I don't see the current squad losing at home. Which means: Good Times!

bluedaddy said...

Honolulu, Betis,

Now that's what I call off topic! Luckily it's tolerated on here.

Some of us on here communicate offblog (ie via email). If you dont want to post your email addresses, I feel sure that Ebren, who hosts this blog, would happily forward your email addresses to each other via the pseudscorner@hotmail.com

Sorry ebren if this is an imposition on you. Feel free to disavow me and all others on your willingness to play Emma Woodhouse

BlueinBetis said...

I will try, but now you've made it even worse....oh my god, she's asked me already DaddyBlue! You said they would, but I didn't expect it to be that quick.

(Aaaha, cunning ploy) only if you promise to try to do an interview with Eduardo Galeano. Okay? Whenever you're ready. No rush, I can wait.

And I will do, something about weed and Kumasi, if you like. Might take a while, just made a big tortilla and have to eat that first..

honolulu said...

Zepherine,

what do you mean, "off-topic?!?!"

Surely, I'm not?!?

heehee

MotM said...

Would it be asking too much for Hannibal to jump on board here and demand the banning of Honolulu and Betis?

BlueinBetis said...

That last one was aimed at Marcela, got to go now and watch the football, sure you all understand. Have a lovely evening.

honolulu said...

You know, Emma Woodhouse was from Highbury, in London and therefore supports Arsenal.

Okay, I'm off! Happy Mother's and Mr. Mom day!

BlueinBetis said...

Highbury, great! Now I REALLY want to meet her.
*retches*

BlueinBetis said...

You see, I thought Emma Woodhouse was her friend...the one that is in Ghana...

Of course I know who Emma Woodhouse is.

(mental note, google: "Woodhouse, Emma", I wonder if she trains dogs as well)

offside said...

mimi,

that was no slapping. And it wasn't stick either. Just an answer.

love

o

hannibalbrooks said...

40 comments! ... and it's not even a blog about one of the big four! ... or even remotely controversial. David Pleat, Steve Cram and Marty Kelner would be so jealous.

I set three seperate e-mail addresses to set up each new account on GU that wouldn't work, so I think that they've sussed how to ban your IP address. I don't understand the witchcraft of t'internet very well.

Honolulu

I called you a 'homo'!?!?! ... but that's not a word that I would normally use. I know lots of gay people of both sexes, and prefer the word 'queer' to 'homo', if I'm taking the piss out of any of them. Are you sure it wasn't just a typo and I wrote Homolulu instead of Honolulu?... are you sure you haven't got the wrong person? ... yer big poof :o)

Kokomomo (Sissoko) seems to be nearest to the mark with regard to my bannings by the lovely Mr Smyth. I think that he has taken it upon his own ego to rid the bloggosphere of a staunch Liverpool voice. I haven't been involved in 'accidentally hijacking' a thread for ages and I'm quite sure that some of you on here were no doubt hijacking it with me at the time, not since way before Sean wrote that 6 months of SportBlog thing and the air was cleared. I've been a very good boy since then and both of my bannings this week (HB and OliverReed) were completely uncalled for ... but lets wait and see what happens.

Thanks again to everyone for the kind words and especially to Marcela, praise from someone who's work we all admire is high praise indeed.

I've just got home from doing a new gig at a new venue tonight. It was a last minute thing and it went really well but I'm exhausted due to the stress of it all. Gonna build me a phat rocket and fly me to the moon in order to come back down to earth properly ;o)

Cheers everyone

HB x

guitougoal said...

H.B,you just scored big time because there is nothing like a wonderful trip back to our favorite time and game, thanks kokomo please come again.
mimi-are you serious? please go back to the Russel 's thread to find out who gave the stick to whom. You can be sad but still be fair.

Anonymous said...

HB

Yeah, I like It too!

miro said...

HB, 10 out of 10 stars!

greengrass said...

Hannibal -
not "even remotely controversial"?
To my mind, your article is a quirky, pre-meditated attempt to smash capitalism, eroding its very base by promoting home-grown toys.
GG

slimjim68 said...

HB, I followed your exchange with Mr Smyth and thought his reaction to your witticism absolutely and utterly pathetic. My comments to that effect were also deleted. Have become a bit disillusioned with the Sportsblog in recent times - it's all gone a bit precious if you ask me.

greengrass said...

slim -
I was there with you. I agree.
gg

offside said...

I wasn't there, I missed it all but I agree too.

Ebren said...

Was there both times (although I remember the birth of Brooks I don't remember the death of the knight).

First was off topic, but after I said I thought Brazil would win the World Cup (as they usually do) fair game.

Def not a banning.

Second was on topic, non-offensive, relevant and utterly confusing.

I have no idea what was done wrong.

Ebren said...

Messed up.

I left a comment on David James' thread yesterday that (along with 75% of the comments) has been deleted. I'm really confused.

I basically said that English football is too insular, and the fact our managers are rubbish is demonstrated by the fact we have only had three make any impact overseas (Hodgson, Robson, Venables). I then wished DJ well on his ambitions, and said he might make it as he shows a willingness to learn.

What the hell was wrong with that?

Anyone know what's going on?

greengrass said...

ebren -
I have been consistently more negative than you - and many of our comrades - concerning the honesty and intentions of the GU elite.
It gives me no satisfaction whatsoever to see them proving me right.
It seems that a number of use have been targetted, and now have about as much chance of getting a fair crack of the whip as a Barnsley miner in the days of Thatcher.
But thanks to you in particular we are by no means poorer.
Maybe we need an e-mail conference
to gather forces.
GG

slimjim68 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
slimjim68 said...

You hit the nail on the head greengrass. I don't think they like it when bloggers make humorous quips, and they seem to be taking a perverse pleasure in spiking comments and banning people. It's all so depressingly joyless.

kokomo said...

maybe they should spend less time deleting, and more time working on big blogger

Ebren said...

Quick note - before I am likened to a blog hatchet man - I am going to point out that it was slim that deleted his own comment (something I sometimes wish we could do to our work on GU) and not me or Brooksie.

If anyone cares, it was a longer version of what he posted underneath.

Cheers,

Ebren

Zeph said...

By contrast, CiF is full of certifiable nutters, and the media blog (Organ Grinder) is childish in the extreme, and people never seem to get banned. Is the problem that the sport guys take themselves seriously - or that they actually read the blog?! Sometimes I think the CiF editors just post an article and walk away.

andrewm said...

The less said about the arts blog the better.

Ebren, nobody believes you :o)

Ebren said...

Deletions are common on CiF - although I agree it is full of myopic nutters.

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/georgina_henry/2007/03/comment_is_free_is_a.html

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/open_thread/2007/03/freedom_or_fracas_1.html

http://commentisfree.guardian.co.uk/mike_ion/2007/03/deputy_blog_can_blogs_make_a_d.html

marcela said...

well done, ebren:

explanations and links!
you really are the master blogger.

i like cif. rarely post but have grown fond of some of their number. someone known as khartoumi was banned and there is a great post calling for his return:
"legalize khartoumi, bring back cannabis!"

i think bans and deletions are clearly an issue all over GU - not just sportsblog.

as the threads ebren posted links to above show.

hannibalbrooks said...

I am back on GU as BocaJuniors :o)

There is a full and unreserved apology for Pipita on the comments for GG's new piece.

slimjim68 said...

Yup, just to confirm that ebren is telling the truth - I deleted my own post. Had a bit of a rant about the UK being a bit joyless right now and said the Sportsblog moderator policy was a reflection of that. Then thought better off it as I thought I sounded like one of those joyless expats who always moans about Blighty.
If we started getting spiked here then we really will have to give up.
andrewm - how about 500 words eulogising yesterday's bore draw at Villa Park? Sounds right up your street (only teasing).

andrewm said...

slim, in all seriousness I had what I thought was a great idea for an article and turned out 900 words, which I planned to edit down. However, on second reading I realised it was garbage. It was a bit demoralising and I doubt I'll be contributing an article any time soon.

slimjim68 said...

andrewm - hmm, I know that feeling

mimi said...

This has been illuminating! Sorry to those I mistook for slapping me on Brand's - lost my sense of humour for a bit yesterday. But the discussion here is fascinating. I genuinely wondered what you lot could have done to get banned: I see plenty of posts over at GU that are completely off-topic, some of them really quite barkingly mad, but they don't get removed or the posters banned.
Whoever of you said that there's something a bit too serious about the GU hacks, I think this is right, and they are as guilty of losing perspective at times as we are. Regarding criticism - they are professionals and must be well aware that by putting their writings up for comment on the blog, not everyone is going to praise them to the hilt. It's a bit odd, then, to get all sniffy and cross if they get argued with.
Still, what do I know? It is all very different here, much smaller forum and civilized discussion, not points scoring.

hoNolulu! said...

(pouting, in a strop) Yes, Hannibal, you addressed me as "homolulu." I wasn't so certain at the time it was a mistake(we were arguing Thierry Henry's contributions to humanity (his legs), but Zizou (bless) had a few jolly laughs, intervened and reassured me. (I am more offended to be assumed male than anything else).

I enjoyed your piece, though, and hope your ma did too.

I suspect the writers who most object to the blog format, big blog, etc. are the ones who cannabalize their own discussions, wielding the delete button like a scythe.
(working on my metaphors,
segueing to a related subject concerning death via an image of the Grim Reaper)
If Rob got death threats, an idea that blows my mind because he is probably the most gentle MbMer, I don't blame him for chucking his sense of humor, and looking closely at the blogs for clues for others with nasty intentions.

I don't think I've seen any posts on GU that should have been deleted. Many are thoughtless or simply dumb, but nothing hateful.

reemgear said...

"Still, what do I know? It is all very different here, much smaller forum and civilized discussion, not points scoring."


Shut it Mimi.

MotM said...

Reemgear - I sometimes wonder why I hit that older post button when there is almost no chance of an old post sparking into life. Then you give us two words like that - superb!

reemgear said...

Just testing the waters Mouth!

(note to self, must avoid Mimi...)

duncan said...

I love me some nostalgia.
"The Original Frank Lampard" Nice one HB.
My first subbuteo team was (sigh) Coventry City. I still recall the disappointment of opening that present :(

Anonymous said...

boring nostalgia filled wank... thank god we've banned the fool

barry and all at GU

Moderator said...

One word from HB and I'll delete that Ms Anonymous.

It's not often done here at pseuds, but it will be for annonoums insults that offer nothing but offence.

reemgear said...

"Ms Anonymous."

How do you know it's a lady?
Surely it was just a joke...
Unless it really was Barry and Sean.

andrewm said...

I'm no fan of Barry G but I don't think he'd waste his time posting something like that anywhere.

bluedaddy said...

I reckon Brooks would laugh his arse off at that one, as I did, that's if he didn't post it himself (though I'm guessing MocneJim).

IanRush said...

It's amazing what you can do with these blogger accounts...

hannibalbrooks said...

I laughed out loud when I read that.

As much as I'd like it to be, I can't imagine Barry writing something so inane and putting his name to it.

It is quite probably related to the later post by Ian Rush, which makes me think that The Troll alias 50kaweeksub was behind it.

mimi said...

reem: just revisited here. Fraid you can't avoid me. Without GU blogs to play with, I have WAY too much time to trawl here and find and whip those who take my name in vain!

offsideintahiti said...

bornblue,

try this:

djremymartin@hotmail.co.uk


or mine:

olivierrothster@gmail.com

Tweet it, digg it