Do you ever see people leaving the cinema before the end of the film? The earliest people start to trample on the spilled popcorn (why popcorn?) is when the credits start to roll, but at Arsenal on Saturday, most of the crowd had pushed off by the time clumsy striker Nicklas Bendtner equalised clumsy defender Phillippe Senderos' own goal. With the title on the line and a young team straining against a very decent Villa oufit, why would you say, "What I need now is a look round the Holloway road." London fans eh?
And that equaliser was vital, as Manchester United and Chelsea had long since secured the points against London "opposition", Championship bound Fulham and feeble West Ham (continuing Alan Curbishley's uncanny knack of turning off once relegation is avoided).
It was also a good week for the chasing pack, with Liverpool bagging six points thanks to easy wins over Gary Megson's Bolton (yes, this is the all-star Premier League and I did write Gary Megson's Bolton) and whipping boys West Ham, a tonking distinguished by another Anfield hat-trick from Paris Hilton lookalike, Fernando Torres. Rafa owes his Red Bull plenty this season. Everton had their problems against the gigantic Portsmouth team, but cruised home once Tim Cahill scored and chose to remind us that many Australians have family connections with convicts.
Amongst the halt and the lame, Birmingham shrugged off the hangover of the Eduardo match better than Tottenham shrugged off the hangover of the Carling Cup celebrations to record a 4-1 win thanks to a Dirk Kuyt, sorry, Mikhael Forssel hat-trick. Derby's 0-0 with Sunderland and Manchester City's 0-0 with Wigan were every bit as much fun as they sound, whilst the other two North Eastern clubs lost at home by the odd late goal, Middlesborough to Reading and Newcastle to Blackburn. Don't giggle. It's not funny.
The net effect of all that is... nothing. Arsenal and Man Utd are separated by a point, then there's Chelsea too efficient for fourth, not exciting enough for second, the Merseyside head-to-head for fourth, the celtic managers of Blackburn and Villa fighting for sixth, fading Man City and Portsmouth vying for eighth, and two London clubs stuck in the middle, West Ham and Spurs. At the bottom Derby are long gone and Fulham look doomed, but the fun starts next with four points covering Reading, Bolton, Birmingham, Sunderland, Wigan, Newcastle and Middlesborough. Cock-fighting is banned, but this is the next best thing. Premcorr's tip for the drop? Newcastle!