Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Groundhog Day - Chanelle

3rd March 2008
So here we are and spring has sort of sprung though it is supposed to snow later this week. But there is a feeling of like progress about most things at this time of year yeah and New Year resolutions are way in the past and life goes on.

Except. This year so far it has seemed that India and Australia have got like totally stuck like always playing cricket against each other.

It started back in December 2007 right with the Test Match series which is called the Border Gavaskar Trophy. So they played four of those and then they played a Twenty20 game and then began the Commonwealth Bank Series which is being played between Australia, India and Sri Lanka and in that Series they all play against each other over and over again yeah and it hasn’t finished yet. So for more than two months right there has been always a cricket match on or about to be on or just finished between the Indians and the Australians.

Now this wouldn’t matter so much right except that they like totally hate each other right well their supporters do anyway. Trouble kicked off at the Test in Sydney and there were accusations of abuse etc etc as I have mentioned before yeah. And even though Australia have won most of the many many encounters since yeah there has been no lightening up - sigh - and you still cannot set your like virtual foot on a cricket blog without being surrounded by Aussies and Indians like hurling insults at each other yeah about aborigines and the caste system and all kinds of stuff which is so so stupid because if you go back like 150 years right everybody was downtreading somebody and there was still like slavery and that was then this is now.

And I said to Karl, I was like, I really hate this, yeah, what has happened to my cricket blogs which were full of nice old people worrying about whether or not Monty Panesar is truly developing a fine cricket brain and how vulnerable is Ali Cook if they keep bowling outside his off stump and suchlike things. I was like, it’s like being back at school with all this overheated testosterone yeah but Karl was, like, on the footie blogs this is completely normal right so I give up right.

Anyway, there are now three final matches in the Commonwealth Bank Series and Sri Lanka right who are really good players, yeah, but have been kind of like a greyhound between two rottweilers lol have gone home, yeah probably heaving sighs of relief and so the three final matches are between guess who. And like only in cricket would you have three finals, yeah, I thought final meant last not last but two duh. [ed's note still better than the US with seven finals for baseball]

As I write this India have won the first of the finals yeah in a convincing fashion as the saying goes. The great Sachin Tendulkar right who is known as The Little Master which would totally piss me off if I was him has scored a fine century, yeah, after not we must admit doing anything like spectacular in the earlier rounds so just in time eh Sachin :). Harbhajan Singh has been rude again *sigh* but perhaps everybody is getting used to it now, yeah, or at least have run out of energy to make a fuss or is that too much to hope for - anyway Hayden said something snotty about him on the radio yawn yawn yawn yawn you see the problem. And Australia managed to be defeated without actually grinding their teeth to fine powder, right, but it was a close thing lol and India are certainly in with a chance of winning the CB series if it ever ends.

Because in fact this Commonwealth Bank is making me remember when I first was introduced to cricket yeah and thought it was a form of slow torture and although in theory, right, it will soon be over and it seems they will not be doing it again, yeah, I have a strange strange feeling that part of the cricket world has stepped over into another dimension, yeah, and somewhere the Indians and Australians will always be playing cricket against each other and there will be nothing anyone in our like version of the universe can do.

Perhaps, yeah, they are like those ancient Greeks who died and had to spend the like afterlife pushing big rocks up hills and stuff yeah or maybe the not quite legendary Ricky Ponting yeah has struck a bargain with the Devil right so that he can play India for like all eternity until his legendary status is established.

Maybe when they get on their planes yeah and think they are going home the planes will like go through some hole in space and time and they will step off the planes and find they are mysteriously back where they started, right, and have to play all the matches again, yeah, would they be allowed to have different results I wonder.

I am quite worried about this like feeling of trappedness and like endless repetition not to say paranormal doom yeah but Karl says if I supported one of the top four in the Premier League I would be quite used to feeling like this so there we are.

Update 4th March 2008
Well so India have just won the second final, yeah, which means they have won the Commonwealth Bank Series - hooray and hurrah - and the Aussies are smiling while grinding their teeth again yeah and will probably say oh it’s just the CB it doesn’t matter, right, which is what they said when we beat them in the last one lol.

And now we shall find out, yeah, because they won’t play the third final right on account of there is like a result, yeah, so the teams should be like dispersing now and going home right but...will they get there yeah? Will there ever be like an end? Will those planes land in our dimension or in like somewhere else, right, where they have to start all over again with the Border Gavaskar Tests? Am I right and they are doomed forever throughout like unending time?

Alisha is like, Chanelle you have completely lost the plot and this is what getting into cricket does for you.


munni said...

And there was me thinking it was one enormous match that's been going on for months, rather than a series of Series. Chanelle, I will study your posts so I can dazzle my cricket-mad cousins with my newfound knowledge. BTW Sachin is still only 34 yrs old. I had to wiki him because I thought he was very ancient and was surprised to learn he's still playing.

Off to worry about the Champions League now.

mimi said...

Brilliant, incisive analysis of the whole thing as always Chanelle.
If only the Aussies/Indians would read this they might gain a sense of perspective.

Still waiting today to hear if Symonds gets punished for his shoulder tackle on the streaker!

Zeph said...

I think the streaker should have been handsomely rewarded - he's enabled Symonds to get rid of all that pent-up aggression, heaven knows what might have happened otherwise...

guitougoal said...

Thanks, the light just went on. I finally understood why I can't get into cricket,it's because I may loose the plot.

offside said...

Let's face it, Guitou, it's nothing to do with that. We've both lost the plot quite a while ago, but we'll never get into cricket.

I knew matches could go on, like, forever, but I didn't know series could actually take several lifetimes. Is it like dead stars, of which you can still see the light? Cricket games long finished but the commentary is still coming at you over the radio years afterwards? Or is it the other way around? Or have I lost the thread? plot? point? plonk? puck? ah, whaddaya call them things? Wicket!

Wickedt, mind-bending stuff, Chanelle. Say hi to Zeph for me, please.

Zeph said...

I think it was in a strange attempt to be modern that, some time ago, the ICC decided to replace a few long but interesting games of cricket with a seemingly endless series of short but dull games...the peak of their achievement was the last Cricket World Cup, during which suicide rates mysteriously soared...

But now we have a lot of rich Indians and one extremely rich Texan putting money into a very short and rather exciting form of the game and dressing it up to look like baseball, so that will be, erm, interesting.

Well, for some of us. Not those who prefer paddling canoes, obviously.

guitougoal said...

softball, hardball, call it as you like it's a tricky business, using a bat require an eye-hand coordination-.Kicking the ball it's so much easier,
offside is right we'll never get into cricket.

mimi said...

Guitou: there are times when I wish I'd never got into cricket. And plenty of other things as well!

guitougoal said...

as you probably noticed I am the no-literate, the ignorant of pseuds, thanks for having me btw, i always
thoughts cricket was a little insect like the one we have summertime in south of france, chirping 24/7-

mimi said...

Gui: they had one of those in Australia only of course, it was louder and bigger than we have, and had some different name. Much as I enjoyed my hol, there were times when it got tiresome how everything had to be bigger and fiercer and more potentially life-threatening that we're allowed.

Huge laughs were had when I told the story of how last summer I was bitten by an adder (or thought I had been, cos of course it was an over-reaction to an ankle pierced by gorse and seeing a sleepy snake). In Aus, that would have been some deadly huge beast.

Oh well, travel broadens the mind.

offside said...

Give me a paddle and throw an avocado my way, and I'll show you the true meaning of cricket.

brigadier wisden greengrass said...

Dear Chanelle,
thanks for the update and the clarity - I was beginning to fear that I was alone in having lost the plot.

I hear that the Indian team plane actually crashed on the Gavaskar border.

Mimi & Guitou,
I believe the Latin name for those gigantic Aussie insects is Pontingus Piguglyus.

Offy & Guitou,
the French invented cricket - and letters.

Zeph pushing her luck said...

Did the French invent croakay?

professor piaget greengrass said...

No, Zeph - it was the other way round
(cf. chicken/eggs).

MotM said...

The last of the Triangular ODI series!!


I look forward to Chanelle's despatches on a more same schedule next year.

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