The Pakalolo Tavern is empty. An Irish jig on the juke-box. Sounds of cutlery and dishes and diverse appetising odours coming from the kitchen.
Offside comes in through the kitchen swing door, laden with dishes and odours. He sets them on the bar.
Offside (shouting): Ingrid! How's the couscous?
Ingrid (from kitchen): The doctor said it would be better soon!
Offside arranges the dishes on the bar, steps back, looking satisfied. He dives back into the kitchen, and comes out again almost immediately, carrying more dishes, some of them steaming. He sets them down hurriedly, opens the tap to run cold water over his hands.
The main door opens to let in Greengrass, a spring in his step and a guitar slung over his shoulder. He saunters to the bar and eyes the food on display.
Greengrass: Smorgasbord?
Offside: Sort of. (to kitchen, shouting) Ingrid! Hurry with that couscous. Greengrass is here already, the others won't be long now.
Greengrass: What's the occasion?
Offside: None, really. I just want to put some food into the lads and lasses. It's been a long season-a-bloggin', and now we're coming to the run-in, so they need sustenance.
Greengrass examines the dishes suspiciously. He stoops to take a closer sniff at the stuff.
Greengrass: No tapir this time?
Offside: No, all gone. Mimi finished it. Hey don't touch that, wait 'til everyone's here. Er, I would leave that one alone if I were you, that's cojones de toro, strictly for our Argentine guests. Unless you're feeling really adventurous, of course. (pause) What's with the guitar? You're going to give us a tune?
Greengrass: Haven’t you seen the posters?
Offside: I told you - they’ll be along soon.
Greengrass: No, don’t be daft - not that lot! The posters for my performance: they’re all over the village.
Offside: Performance?
Greengrass: Nine o’ clock! At the Wheel Tapper’s Arms - Selected Ditties of Atahualpa Yupanqui. I’ve translated the works of the Master into Lancashire Dialect. Ingrid will be along to harmonise if she’s better.
Offside: Better?
Greengrass: She was poorly yesterday - had a frog in her throat, poor lass.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Stumble It!
331 comments:
«Oldest ‹Older 201 – 331 of 331West side. Born in Honolulu, I'm in San Diego now. I've lived a lot of different places, though.
San Diego? I had the best oven-cooked oysters there in a sea-front restaurant. REAL oysters.
I've never been to Hawaii, but I have friends living in Maui and I'm very tempted to pay them a visit one of these days.
Mascherano didn't have a great game last night, but I like him.
He was good in the WC - I hoped that Lord Wrigley would sign him, as it wouldn't surprise me if he is better than Hargreaves.
Also he's a face - always makes me think of Bugs Bunny - and United are all about entertainment.
Finally, he likes poetry: if he was at the Theatre of Wet Dreams I could sing some Atahualpa for him, and he'd surely get me a free ticket and a prawn sandwich.
Just a quick note on the Australian people choosing the status quo in refernce to the Queen of England (and Australia).
The referendum was held as a tool by the government of the time to change the parliamentary system and produce a less robust democracy.
Only one alternative model was proposed in the referendum and in truth it stank. So the Australian people overwhelmingly chose the anachronistic and functioning democracy that has served us well for over a century.
Australia is already a republic in all but name. Dear old Lizzie doesn't interfere and the Westminster mob have no juristiction over the citizens of Australia. We will remove the Queen's name from the constitution and the Union Jack from the flag but only when something more favourable is on offer.
Until then the British royals are stuck with us.
nesta,
roll on that day!
Until then, give them hell!
How is the cricket revolution going on?
Can't say too much in a public forum greenie, but the plan to return the game to the people is working perfectly.
The next change coming to cricket is to abolish the ropes and install bramble boundaries to all grounds.
We feel that this will bring more woman through the gates. The girls down my way love an old battle scar or two on their blokes. With the advent of helmet's and ropes there is very little chance of getting cut in the modern game. We intend to readdress this. An extra plus of the bramble boundary is that the fielders can have a blackberry or two whilst patrolling the outfield and there is always a warm and sweet blackberry pie served at the tea interval.
I thought I'd heard somewhere that Tasmania had the highest concentration of deadly snakes in the world. Would bramble boundaries keep those fielders on their toes? Or are you all just fearless down there? I mean, down here, over there.
offy there are only three snake species in Tasmania but you are right there are plenty of them. All deadly but no one has died from a bite since about the 1930's. Most of us go down the zoology dept at the uni at the start of snake season (Sept/Oct) and pick up some anti-venom to pop in the fridge over summer just in case. I've always found snakes to be cowardly creatures that sqiggle away at the first sight of men. However they are quite tasty when sauted in a tomato and garlic sauce.
Once when I was flying Alitalia, I asked the linguistically-challenged steward if they would be serving an in-flight meal.
He answered: Yes, a snake...
I thought: Haven't tasted that before, but snakes are very similar to eels, and some people eat them.
They served a snack.
Now that Mimi is an Aussie, you should invite her to Tasmania: she and her cats would soon put paid to your snakes. Mind you, she'd probably drink up your stocks of anti-venom.
Greenie it would be best if mim left her cat at home. I've been responsible for the death of 149 feral (and maybe a few domestic) cats in the last three years on my property.
Out of town they are public enemy number one. I often feel sorry for the wild cats I trap for they are magnificent animals. Unfortunately for them if we did nothing they would destroy the ecological balance of the island.
They kill our little furry herbivores who for thousands of years had no natural predators except snakes. The balance is so fragile due to millions of years of isolation and specialisation that if the bandicoot, potoroo or pademelon became extinct so will the forests amd everything else.
As I said, no people have died from snake bite for a while but plenty of domestic dogs and cats fall foul of the legless ones.
Can we put feline and snake on the menu at the cafe? I could supply the produce at a good price. It would be more economical and nutritious than gelding gonads I can assure you.
nesta,
I'm sure Offgrass and I will be tickled pink if you occupy a corner of the taproom with your exotic foods franchise.
You might consider coaching the England cricket side in your spare time, too - as long as it doesn't interfere with your day job.
Bob Gelding is at present bubbling and squeaking on the back burner.
Saint Bob would be a bloody vegan, wouldn't he? Or do you mean that Bob is the menu? If he is, I'll have a bit of his forelock with some gravy thanks.
Of course he's the menu - no bloody use to man or beast without his balls, is he?
Fore... ...lock coming up!
Nesta,
great idea! Let me buy you a drink to celebrate our new Tasmanian menu.
A round of snakebites!
Barman?
Tonight's Special:
Cat Among the Pigeons - only served rare.
I'm off to practice my blograss versions of Elvis songs - new gig coming on Tuesday.
Back later!
I'm sure Mimi will be thrilled someone's finally found something useful to do with her cats.
greengrass, let me know if you need any strings for your instruments.
(On a sign in the corner with large letters)
TASTE of TASMANIA
Tonight's Specials
ENTREE
Pademelon tail and pepperberry soup
Cat liver and snake skin pate
MAIN
Bandicoot burgers with a nettle and coriander side salad. Cultural swede chips optional
DESSERT
Parasitic cherry icecream sprinkled with caramelised cat tongue topped with a Devil breath syrup.
3 courses 25 Tassie dollars (equiv. to 50p)
Drinks extra. Doggy bags not catered for.
KItchen closes at 4am.
Looks like i've joined the damned and banned club. I caught a couple of GU journalists plagarising comments off the sports blog and weaving them into their articles.
After writing to the Editor in detail about his employees intellectual theft I've now been banned. How piss weak is that?
I need a drink. Who's shout is it?
I've had lines nicked many a time (including by the fiver).
Will a Brandy cover it? How about a pint of off-topic. It's strong stuff.
Nesta,
that's classless of them. Feel free to post details here.
Hawaiian rum, straight up?
I'll have the pint and rum chaser please. I'll just have to contribute a bit more to the psueds so I can get my daily blog fix. Can I interest you a bandicoot burger?
I wasn't banned at first. The Editor wrote me an email explaining that the GU owned the intellectual rights to whatever is published on their pages. He even tried to flatter me with hollow words about my intellect and how they would be 'saddened' to lose me when I suggested that I'd find a blogspace with more integrity. Now I've been deleted from the system. To be honest I'm happy about it. Especially after my pint and chaser.
nesta,
you're very welcome - that menu is the cat's whiskers!
I've been banned 4 times & I'm working on my fifth. I think we have a good time on here, but I feel a need to go back on GU now and again to meet some new faces and avoid Genghis Sidebottom.
Do you Aussies actually get to be citizens? We Brits are still subjects - I've always wanted to be a citizen! Think I might qualify if I change my name to Bruce Bruce?
(Goes out and starts digging deep hole)
We are called citizens but most of the time we feel more like consumers. The only subjects we have down here are taught at school. And who the hell is Ghengis Sidebottom?
That would be me. Where is that folk singer?
There are more Shane's in Oz than kangaroos. Shane McShane might be more appropriate than Bruce Bruce.
End every sentence with the word 'mate' and you might slip through customs unnoticed GG. I know a girl at Immigration who for the right price can 'obtain' the required papers so you can call yourself Citizen Greengrass. Her name is Kylie Naylor. Any relation to that fame hungry OBO bitch, Gary?
Exactly Guitou.
Gardel was born in Tolouse, thats why the french claim he is of your nationality. The colombians claim he's colombian because the plane accident that ended his life occurred in medellin. The Uruguayans claim he belonged to them for some reason that escapes me. The argentines claim he is argentinian for the most obvious reason: his singing and acting career was almost entirely done there. But most of all he was a "porteño", a buenosairean
Miiii Bueeenos aaaires queriiiido
cuaaaando yooo te vuelllva aaa ver..
nesta,
Thanks! Shane McShane will do.
Genghis is Gretchen's husband (see above, April 24th., 6:03 AM).
Pipita,
Monsieur charles gardel de bon air (le debonnaire)-
or carlos gardel de buenos aires- nationality?
Tangolero-
but the most important question was he River or bocca?
No wonder Ghengis is looking for you.
I've always found that guitars, folk songs and women lead to trouble. BIG trouble and LOTS of fun.
Now that hole you been digging, is that for Ghengis or for yourself when he catches up with you?
(muffled voice)
This hole is to get me to Tasmania. I'm taking Titus Bramble with me - he had the game of his life on Saturday, so he's way past his sell-by date now.
Kylie Naylor, you say? That'll be Gary's niece, I expect. Do they call her "Mouth of the Yarra"?
Guitou
Neither.He was actually a Racing fan...Has a 20's tango dedicated to a favorite player of his from that team called Ochoa, which is entitled "Ochoita, el crack de la afición" But most of all he was a horse racing fanatic
Pipita,
Toulouse, the city, still celebrating Gardel on any occasion, french have a tendancy or rather a good taste for selective discrimination based on the talent-for ex :Domenech claimed Hinguain was french until pipita told him to f... off. They resent north africans but they worship Zizou and he is their idol despite his origin.
L'église St Sernin illumine le soir
Une fleur de corail que le soleil arrose
C'est peut-être pour ça malgré ton rouge et noir
C'est peu-être pour ça qu'on te dit ville rose
O mon pais, O Toulouse
O-ooooo Toulouuuuuuuse
claude le toulousain-early bird,meet me place du capitol for cafe and croissants-we call justo who lives few blocks away, please don't mention "cuisse de poulet"
Claude, aka orsay or guitou???
Guitou
Is that so?? Suppose the same applies to Rousseau, Napoleon I and III, Constant, Mdme de Stäel, Camus, Yannick Noah, Trezeguet, Vieyra, etc,etc....
Et après on ira se balader le long du canal du Midi, et manger un canard confit.
J'y serai deuxième semaine de juin, con.
Camus is as french as offside or myself- same origins-franco-spaniard- are'nt we all strangers in a crowd anyway?
quand le jazz et la,
la java s'en va
il y a de l'orage dans l'air
il y a de l'eau dans le gaz
entre la java et le jazz
a oran un franc c'est un franc
viens voir lept'it comme il est grand.
Guitou
Franco-spaniard??? Wasnt Camus algerian???
Born in algeria (french colony) from french father and spanish mother (sentes)-Camus did join the clandestine french resistance during ww2, writting for the underground newspaper"combat"-
Actually I am reading (trying to) the english version of the stranger. first time i am reading Camus in english.
Camus in English? Heresy! Guitou, you're banned.
i know, it's like brazil vs argentina on espn.
Actually, before you go, can I have another coffee please? Short night (Bayrou press conference, Ségolène interview, french politics bullshit on TV late at night, I got caught up in it. I should know better.)
hawaian coffee with touch of segolene mint -
-she pulled a fast one! a debate with a candidate who is no candidate anymore.....only in France.
Thanks Guitou, and pardon my ignorance but didnt recall Camus's mother was Spanish. I attempted reading Borges in english once, but it didnt work out in the end...I abandoned after just a few pages. In spite of his anglo awareness, you just loose too much not reading him in Spanish, though it was amusing to hear him speak in english
I can't believe you've been joking about my tribe! Small and fierce scottish kittens would never allow themselves to be served up as dinner in a reprobates' bar.
And to be mean to me here, when I'm already suffering at the hands of GU bloggers, well, it's just not fair!
First you eat my Tapir, then you eat Marcela's horse, you threaten my cats, and fail to comfort me in my hour of need.
Huh, what sort of a place is this?
Mimi, i'm afraid this is no joke. But thanks to Nesta's Tasmanian recipes, your felines have been given a proper sending-off. They were excellent. I'll check if there's any left for you.
Oh, and greengrass got a new set of strings for his guitar. Sweet sounds.
mimi, why do think they are calling us :the dirty dozen.
You are wicked and evil to taunt me thus. but it's ok cos I just spoke to Nesta and it's only snake and unloved mittens in her stew.
My tribe are all safe. Kittens who kill sharks are exempt from ending up as dinner in the Pakolola Bar.
"her"? Did I have the wrong impression about Nesta?
Burp!
Mimi - was it your tribe?
I was sure Offy said "tripe"...
Tasty!
Belch!
A pint of off-tabby, please!
Offy: did I get the wrong impression about Nesta? Being welcomed to a sisterhood implies sisters not brothers, but, hey - could well be wrong here.
Mimi,
don't fret!
You can obviously rely on a bloke like Nesta...
mimi,
don't get the wrong idea, I love cats. With salt and pepper. Yours were particularly tasty. Do you have any more?
mimi's cat with mustard tastes like thaliska's rabbit.
offy,
don't forget the HP sauce!
Away to the Land of Nod, with a touch of catharsis in my bowels.
You're all entering the dangerous world of innuendo now, so I think (in the words of my ex - hope he's dead) you should cease and desist! Pour a few drinks for us sad souls still here and wait for some cleaner company to arrive. No, I don't mean Ebren with his desire to clean the Tavern - just some sweet, nice and kind souls to offer some succour.
guitou, are you sure talishka's rabbit wasn't a cat in disguise?
'nigt gg, enjoy your catnap.
innuendo? you wish...
drink? How about un verre de tord-boyaux (de chat)?
talishka's cat with rabbit's long hears, tastes like a rabbit mews like a rabbit....what rabbits don't mew? qu'est ce que c'est....c'est le fantome ecossais.
enough, please, enough. Or do you want me to run sobbing from the bar in search of solace in someone else's arms? The tribe is well and happy. We do not need to know of horrors perpetrated on other cats. Mind you, I'll have one of those rather tasty looking langue du chat biscuits with my cocktail.
minou, minou, minou?
lamere michel, is goalmachine a copy cat of guitogoal?
Definitely not. Less class, less goals. Shoots wide most of the time.
Have you seen le père Lustucru?
in other words, he's cat-astrophic.
oui qui l'eu cru
j'ai vu lustucru
sur son cat-a-maran
il trouvait cela marrant.
I see mimi has mistaken me for the talking horse and attempted to have me gelded. Truly mimi you can put the shears away. I truly love cats. And not just on my plate.
Sure, I always knew you were a tom cat. Mimi is understandably disturbed by her cat-aclysmic loss, hence her confusion.
Still got plenty of feline in the freezer. Going out and collect some other produce. Will return later with tonight's menu. Cheers.
I think Japanese poodle may be on the menu tonight.
Thousands of Japanese have been swindled in a scam in which they were sold Australian and British sheep and told they were poodles.
Flocks of sheep were imported to Japan and then sold by a company called Poodles as Pets, marketed as fashionable accessories, available at $1,600 each.
That is a snip compared to a real poodle which retails for twice that much in Japan.
The scam was uncovered when Japanese moviestar Maiko Kawamaki went on a talk-show and wondered why her new pet would not bark or eat dog food.
She was crestfallen when told it was a sheep.
Then hundreds of other women got in touch with police to say they feared their new "poodle" was also a sheep.
One couple said they became suspicious when they took their "dog" to have its claws trimmed and were told it had hooves.
Japanese police believe there could be 2,000 people affected by the scam, which operated in Sapporo and capitalised on the fact that sheep are rare in Japan, so many do not know what they look like.
"We launched an investigation after we were made aware that a company were selling sheep as poodles," Japanese police said.
"Sadly we think there is more than one company operating in this way.
"The sheep are believed to have been imported from overseas - Britain, Australia."
Many of the sheep have now been donated to zoos, farms and the Taste of Tasmania bistro at the 24/7 Taproom.
he he he
sayonara!
TASTE OF TASMANIA
Tonight's Specials
ENTREE
Glazed Herring Gull wings
Cat paw sushi
MAIN
Japanese Poodle cutlets with mashed Tahitian yams
Grilled greengrass puns with teriyaki sauce
DESSERT
Cat's whisker pudding with candied cherry blossom
COCKTAIL
Freycinet Fuji Frapple
3 courses with cocktail $30TAS
Kitchen closes at 2am
See tomorrows board for the Caribbean World Cup Final Menu
Bon Apetit
I'd say that menu would be hard to bleat - wouldn't ewe?
People will flock to buy it.
I believe there is an English whisky called Sheep Dip. It goes well with Shepherd's Pie.
lovingewe,
it's been months. And nothing from you. Not a phone call, not a postcard, nothing. When the time comes, I hope you'll be man enough to do the right thing about our little lamb.
(blushing)
Although, I have to say, I do love to call you greengrass. Oh, I could just eat you up, you fool, come back to the fields. We could be so happy.
Foolish sheep - so far the only animal that has been here and not eaten left missing a couple of vital organs.
Hey Dolly, listen to this, it was in the Fiver:
Croatian defender Ivica Supe has admitted he was "surprised" after his club's sponsor rewarded him with a flock of sheep for his goalscoring record this season. "I just don't know where I will keep them," he admitted after third division Zagora FC's sponsor - a local shepherd - promised him a sheep for every one of the 16 goals he'd scored.
I wonder if he has any connections with the J-league.
http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2007190295,00.html
You can hardly blame em!
Good one cb. Love the pic. It's hardly believable but there you go. A mate emailed me the story but I didn't know where it came from. Still it was good to get a few cheap Japanese poodles for the menu.
Dolly -
what a sheep joke!
I'm sure you're the Devil in Disguise
- I've never spent One Night With Ewe.
Nesta: thanks for putting the herring-gull wings on the menu. Doubt you'll sell many though - according to reports after a recent prosecution of a restuarant not a million miles from here - herring-gull tastes like rancid chicken! Still any effort to diminish their population is fine by me.
a frog in her throat.
a poodle who is a sheep
herring-gull wings on a menu
the whole thing is pretty hard to swallow
pipita,
French article on Cavenaghi, sorry I don't have time to translate the whole thing. Try one of those online programs for a laugh...
http://www.football365.fr/infos_clubs/bordeaux/story_163515_Cavenaghi-c-est-parti.shtml
Ah, nice to see you here. I thought I was on a solo drinking, herring-gull snag, all on my own.
Just had an exciting CD in and listening, but can't remember Mr X's Pseuds' name. Good sounds though.
I am on my own, so just as well that i'm turning over buried treasures. Precious memories that lived and died. The neighbours, they all knew ...
This old ground, I know it's mine and the rain I've been praying for is falling from my eyes ...
There's a prize for any one who knows my quotes.
And more than a tapir sandwich!
offside,
I hope that the Croatian player who won a flock of sheep belongs to a club with a sponsor who can supply free wellies.
gg
How about a sponsor that is a butcher and another that sells BBQs. A perfect match.
Couldn't watch the footy today - had to fix a boat motor. Had this strange feeling that Everton would win 2-0.
Stopped at a pub while driving around picking up spares - 2-0!
Got back to the boatyard and a friend said 4-2.
- "To Everton?"
- "No - to Manchester United!"
After the past few days, with Mourinho making himself appear ever-more absurd, it felt quite pleasant.
Anyone around to turn on the big screen for the cricks? Or even serve a drink?
This place has gone quiet. I thought we'd get a bit of post-mortem banter after yesterday's games but I decided
to keep my gob shut for once.
I've been reading Kafka to see if we can find a way to stop him scoring again on Wednesday. Maybe our lads could get to him with a few jabs about his problematical childhood or the fact that he looks like a beetle.
Sunshine in Stockholm. Off to the chapel today to fine-tune for a double-header on Wednesday: first a
gig with the Elvis show, then San Siro. Will most likely be the only red flag in the village on the 1st.
of May.
Brooksie - thanks for the Phil Lynott info! Any Youtube with that?
I shall raise a glass to Steve Heighway - he was a great player who gave me a lot of pleasure and pain.
Greengrass,
I'll have a humble pie, with a revenge chaser in a big silver cup please.
congratulations, even if Jose won't say it, I believe the fat lady is about to sing "Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur" but will change the words a bit.
I admit it, your lot have been far more entertaining than us in the league.
But we'll be back, oh yes, we'll be back.
Revenge for '94 is on the menu.
Blue(but not cos I'm dead)inBetis.
Sorry I'm late. Just popped in to pick up Frank's order of whacky backy, he's got to stay calm for when Real Madrid nab la Liga ("shot of saliva, anyone?") and apparently that nice Mr. Jolly from North London nicked his stash.
BiB,
I've taken the humble pie out of the freezer. It's not in the oven for you yet - I might still need it myself...
gg
Hey jonny,
welcome to the taproom. Glad to see you're still up and blogging after the other week. Will you try a pint of our famous Off-topic to go with your wacky backy?
Offside - cost of a pint:
Sammy Smith's Old Brewary Bitter - £1.75 in central London. Less elsewhere.
Cost of a Stella, Kronenberg, Guiness almost anywhere in England or Scotland £3 or more.
Bitters - anywhere from £1.70 to £3.50 depending on what and where.
Cheap larger - £2 to £2.75
Ebren,
er, cheers.
In case people think that's out of the blue, I asked the question on another thread, but maybe the answer does belong here.
1.70 to 3.50 is a huge difference. Is it pricier in night-clubs, up-market pubs? Is that a new trend? I had the feeling that (years ago) a pint was the same price everywhere in Britain (unlike in France).
Offside - sorry about that - I get my threads more confused than a colour-blind weaver.
In central London you will pay £3.50 as standard unless you know where to go. In a 'fancy' nightclub you can pay £4.50 for a 33cl bottle. In the 'right' fancy nightclub they will serve own-brand speciality beers for more than this (in Bierodrome in Clapham where they have about 50 sorts of continental beer you can pay £7 for a pint - but it's 9% Duval, and lovely).
Generally, 'premium beer' is about £3 - give or take 50p. 'Standard' larger 25p to 50p cheaper. And the on-tap bitter cheapest.
If they have a cask ale on that can be anywhere between £1.80ish to £3.50ish depending on the beer.
Sammy Smiths pubs are a special case (three in 'fasionable' areas of London that I know of - the Strand, Richmond, and Charring Cross/Traf Sq, loads throughout the rest of the country).
All the pints there are own-brand (larger, cider, stout, ale) and it's just incredibly cheap. It is also a good beer imho (the ale at least, I haven't tried the others).
Prices from £1.18 a pint to £1.72 (the most expensive I have yet found).
In the Offside Bar (and yes there is one - it's in Angel) It cost something like £3.60 for my Staropramen and about the same for Marcela's Guinnes (although, Margin was buying, so he will have to confirm that).
The camra members among us [and, yes, I'm looking at you mimi] will tell more.
The Offside Bar I definitely have to visit.
You had a pint with Marcela at the footie conference and no official report yet? You're fired.
offside,
Thanks. Nice place. Was looking for Russell, has he been in?
jonny,
I've repeatedly tried to lure him over with offers of Hawaiian rum and Tahitian vanill-flavoured coffee, but no sign of the man yet.
Which is strange, considering that the Pakalolo Tavern is a really good place to get hammered...
offside,
Don't talk to me about getting hammered. I was in fear of my blogging life, thought I'd get a beating from MrPW's private army of CommPlods. Safe here, though.
Very safe, I should think.
Paul Wilson's article last week was in very poor taste to say the least. And he should have admitted it instead of fueling the ambiguities.
Racism, sexism, and other negativisms are very thin on the ground here. Have you had a look around? Maybe you'll be tempted to contribute a little something yourself...
Haven't had much time to, but I like what I see. And I will definitely give it a crack soon.
On PW, have you seen his "magique baguette" this week? I'm finding it hard to resist the temptation to get stuck into the argument over whether a journalist should be allowed to make linguistic mistakes - according to one blogger, in what may be his 4th(!) language.
Well, enough of that drivel... I think I've had one too many of that Off-topic. *hiccups and falls off bar stool*
306 comments,
we passed the pint of no return.
ebren: why look at me when talking of beer? Surely you all know by now that when I tipple, it's the shiraz or as now, a classic single malt!
greengrass,
look what I found! Bandy!
http://www.courrierinternational.com/article.asp?obj_id=73132
Still not catching on to any great extent here...
offside,
I thought you were slurring your "r"'s until I checked out the link. Never heard of this game, do you know what footwear they use? Boots or skates? Fat chance of me getting a game down my way, though.
Anyone fancy a game of Sandy?
jonny,
greengrass is our bandy expert. All questions should be directed to him. Check this out:
http://pseudscorner.blogspot.com/2007/03/great-english-game-greengrass.html
(it's amazing what you find in the archives here)
Offside: even more amazing what you find in the sandwiches and stew here!
Hi all
Offy
Who can forget professor greengrass' piece on the Bandy????Priceless Do you think he was high on pakalolo when he wrote that or just having fun?? What about our friend Pondy? Have you encountered him recently at Gu?? Reckon he should already be back from the deer watching. What was the other name he had for this,paribau or something like that
pipita,
I believe greengrass is naturally high, without the need for substances (or else there's something in the water in Sweden).
I think the pondwatcher is still counting caribou up there. I don't know if that's actually a sport but I'd like to read his report here. We'll see if we can convince him when he gets back.
Cavenaghi in the Champions League next year?
I dissappear for a few days and you have all managed to consume everything with four legs including my rabbit!! I am presuming it was maybe down to too much pakalola!
caribou? is that next on the menu? and can we have it garnished with The Larch - reffing to another Pseuds strand - please, mr offy please? Promise I won't send small Fierce to attack those brightly coloured fishies that she thinks are nice little dishies.
Caribou on the menou? Why not, it depends what the pondwatcher brings back from his trip. In the meantime, I wonder what Nesta is up to. Haven't seen his bar menu yet for today...
Oh, and Talishka, just because we haven't eaten anything on two legs YET doesn't mean we never will. (Actually, I'm not so sure about that, I haven't see the vicar since last time.)
Mimi, don't worry aout the fish, no shortage here.
hey offside was the vicar being chased by nesta the last time you saw him? If the answer is yes i think we can guess whats on the bar menu today.
I'm afraid you'll have to ask nesta. As far as I'm concerned, the vicar disappeared at around the same time as the tapir. I can't rule out a mix-up.
A vicar and tapir toastie: sounds good to me. Yum.
caribou, vicar(endangered species) , tapir ,I am calling he animal protection institute-
TASTE OF TASMANIA
MAY DAY MENU
ENTREE
Pyongyang noodles
Castro Salsa
MAIN
Peking Duck
Gulag Goulash
DESSERT
Mao Munchie Crunchie Bars with Thickened Cream
COCKTAIL
Stalin VOdka Frapple
As usual 30 bucks the lot.
And remember to share or the SGP may pay you a midnight visit.
Note: SGP is an acronym for Secret Gastronomic Police.
Cream thickened by bare feet Soviet Milkmaids
Don't delay ater tonight's Workers celebrations the famine will resume as normal.
A 5-mimute landing before taking off for a 3-hour steel pan practice.
I'll be back to savour the workers' menu, ironise on the performances of tonight's cup sides and search for a defrocked tapir soon.
gg
guitou,
correcting people's language is by no means my favourite hobby - and I know you're not writing in your native lingo - but I feel obliged to point out that the appropriate expression is "pissed the pint of no return".
Does anyone know what a pint of Holt's bitter costs in Manchester these days?
Memories of tonight's game:
1) Pool's "taking no prisoners" resolve.
2) Bugs Bunny saying "Who - me?" after chopping down a Chelsea player.
3) Rafa bringing back the hand-jive: I haven't seen that for over 40 years.
bluedaddy, kokomo, other blues,
I've been there, I know what it feels like. Have a drink, Marvin's buying.
gg: o.k pissed it is.
we all pissed the point of no return,including Pool.
greengrass,
I predicted a Chelsea - Milan final, so it's looking good for your reds. You're welcome.
And yeah, before you ask, kokomo is a closet Chelsea supporter. He confessed to me by email. Sorry about outing you like that a this difficult time, koko.
And, by the way, where's andrew?
Dammit, fell asleep just before the end of extra time. Did I miss anything?
Offy
Apologies for not getting back to you sooner. Still no internet at home....Caribou!!!! Thanks, it would be great to get the pond watcher over here, seems a really nice bloke. That's the one. And, yeah,where the hell is andrewm?? Hasnt been around here for ages. Wouldnt be surprised if either him or Hannibal show up soon after liverpool's epic win. Tell me about Cavenaghi, are Bordeaux in with a chance?? Only noticed that Gallardo is still on the PSG bench lately
Begorrah, bejaysus, and feck.
D'ye no have homes to go to?
Look the other threads are getting jealous - and there's them lovely Duckworth and Lewis chaps over there - a load of stuff on the Cricket World Cup, some things about football and someone is bound to wrtite something about the CL final soon.
Ingird get down off that table and leave that priest alone - you'll be needing your hormone tablets soon.
Sod off - the lot of ye.
Sound of doors slamming and bolt being drawn across heard
Post a Comment