It is a rare weekend when the bike boys go head to head with the F1 drivers – well sort of. On Sunday 8 June the calendars coincided but due to the time difference between Spain and Canada, fans of both forms of motorsport did not have to make a choice of which race to follow.
By the time the cars came to the grid at the circuit Gilles Villeneuve in Montreal, the boys in leather were partying (or licking their wounds) in Barcelona. It’s hard to imagine the race winner – Dani Pedrosa – being life and soul even at his home race although for once he did display some excitement and enjoyment on the podium and in the post-race interview. He is well-known in the paddock and amongst the fans of MotoGP as being more than a little dour. In contrast, Valentino Rossi could not have been more thrilled with his second place.
A race-long battle with Australian Casey Stoner had provided almost as much entertainment for the crowd as Valle’s unbelievably tasteless new leathers and helmet design. “I cannot ride a bike race in T-shirt and shorts” Rossi said, so in tribute to his beloved Azzurri, he sported Euro 2008 leathers mimicking the kit and topped off with a lid painted like a football. “I even have the footballer’s tattoo” he told us, showing off the XLVI on the right inner forearm of his leathers.
It’s hard to imagine any single one of Formula One’s drivers expressing their personalities in the way that Rossi does, and it’s one of the reasons why he has so many fans and why they are all hoping that he signs another two-year contract with Yamaha.
As far as the rest of the race went, well Pedrosa stormed into the start as soon as the lights went out and went on to ride a peerless race – at one point leading by over seven seconds before easing off to stroke it round and win by just over four seconds. It was a faultless performance, but despite the fact that this was a Spanish rider winning in Spain, the race director showed respect for the fans and the other competitors and allowed us to see not only the battle for second between Rossi and Stoner – which was a cracker, but also tussles further down the field.
Rookie James Toseland had a great race fighting with his team mate Colin Edwards, Honda’s Nicky Hayden and Suzuki’s Chris Vermuelen to take his third sixth place – a great taster for the next race at Donington where JT will be racing for the first time on a track he knows.
There were crashes galore as de Angelis and Capirossi tangled and de Puniet took himself out. Elias was black-flagged for a jump-start and with so many down, Marco Melandri, perhaps in his last race for the factory Ducati team after a disastrous start to the season found himself in the points.
It was a cracking race, exciting right down to the last lap. Rossi had stalked Stoner for eight laps before making his move for second, and even then there was no feeling that Casey had given up. No surprise that over 115,000 people had turned up to watch this show, and they sure got their money’s worth.
Across the pond then for part two of the day’s motor fun. Plenty for Brits to get excited about as Lewis Hamilton had stolen pole off Pole Robert Kubica in the dying moments of Saturday’s qualifying, and last year’s World Champion Kimi Raikkonen was in third, looking almost as off colour as he’d been in Monaco.
As the cars assembled on the grid, it was almost unbelievable that the track was still being mended – problems with the surface at turn 10 – the Hairpin. In the sport that commands multi-millions of pounds it is scarcely credible that the organisers had not provided a fully functioning track. Before the start there were warnings that the safety car might have to be deployed, not for the normal reasons of accidents to the cars, but because the track might not hold up.
But this is Formula One and let not the state of the track get in the way of the commercial need for the race to get underway. On the grid only Ferrari’s Felipe Massa was prepared to talk to ITV’s Martin Brundle and he was refreshingly frank, saying that it was a bit of an adventure into the unknown. So they did their formation lap and then with Jensen Button and Sebastian Vettel starting from the pitlane, they all set off, following Lewis Hamilton’s clean lead away from the lights. Nico Rosberg made up a place but apart from that it was a crawl round and nothing could have been more of a contrast to the fast and furious place-changing first lap of the GP boys.
Lap five and still nothing had happened. The leaders were in their original starting places and strung out by two or three seconds per place. The mid-field provided a bit of action – Heidfeld fighting Barrichello and Glock and Piquet having a little fight for position – but for pride only.
A third of the way into the race and unless someone fucked up, it would be all about pit stops and strategy. A far cry from out and out racing as we’d seen in Barcelona.
On lap 15 we had an incident. Luckless Adrian Sutil, punted out of a fine fourth place in Monaco by Kimi Raikkonen, had a mechanical failure in his Force India car and parked it. In a bad place.
Brought out the safety car and Hamilton’s lead was neutralised and ironically it was Kimi Raikkonen who benefited the most. Or should have done. All the front-runners piled into the pits but as they pulled away, for some reason, unsighted maybe, Hamilton smashed into the back of Kimi while the red light was still on and that was race over for the pair of them. The innocent – there’s always one – was Nico Rosberg who had been doing a grand job but had his afternoon ruined. A new nose required and bye bye podium or points.
Nick Heidfeld, out played all season by team mate Kubica, made hay and took the lead from Barrichello and Nakajima. With the big guns either out or compromised it looked as though we might have a bit of a race on.
But no. Unlike a bike race where you can guarantee that once on the track it’s all down to rider skill, with a bit of rubber wear to worry about, this was F1 and so far from a race, what we had for the final laps was strategy.
There was one genuine fight. At half distance, David Coulthard held fourth ahead of Jarno Trulli, Timo Glock and Sebastian Vettel. On the same strategy this was about pace. Barring accident this was how the race would finish. Alonso had third behind the BMWs until he binned it – whether that was driver error or the same brake problem that saw Renault retire Piquet I don’t know. It could have been the same sort of error that saw Nakajima on the marbles and … gonski.
22 laps to go and Kubica had enough time to make a pitstop and rejoin in the lead. Coulthard was buzzing around happily in third and the only excitement was what Massa could do. The Ferrari was obviously faster than the cars ahead and as Kovalainen put a move on Barrichello, Massa just drifted into the slipstream and took them both in the overtaking manoeuvre of the day. He was up to fourth and chasing Coulthard down.
Then Fisichella lost it into the first chicane – driver error or mechanical problem, doesn’t matter. Brought out not the safety car, but double waved yellows and almost everyone dived into the pits for a final stop.
The three leaders, Kubica, Heidfeld, Coulthard came out still ahead. Barrichello lost places to Trulli and Glock which was bad news for Honda but good for Toyota. Massa somehow nicked a place off Trulli but this was minor stuff.
BMW had come through the chaos for Robert to take a maiden F1 win, and the first for a Pole (not surprisingly as he is the first Pole to compete in F1!) and moreover make it a one-two with Heidfeld taking second spot.
Coulthard, in the evening of his F1 career confounded all critics, yet again, by being on the podium and the Big Two – Ferrari and McLaren scarcely garnered a point.
However, despite this unexpected and rather delightful result of the Canadian Grand Prix, it had none of the genuine excitement of Barcelona. The results were more to do with errors and team strategy than genuine driver skill and utter courage.
In the post-race interviews no-one was “very ‘appy” and no-one wore repulsive pink and blue Azzurri race overalls with roman numerals on their forearm.
Look – I have no doubt that F1 drivers are immensely skilled and brave, but they don’t race elbow to elbow like the boys and they just don’t seem to care as much about what they do and what the fans think.
So come the weekend this season when MotoGP goes head to head with F1, and it will happen, always does, I know what I’ll be watching and I know where my heroes are.
In leather, on two wheels, and the main man is the one whose name begins with a big fat V.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Sunday, June 1, 2008
Who is the GOAT? - Mimitig
Sunday morning. I woke, suddenly, uncomfortably, the cold dread hand of fate grasping greedily at my heart. Saturday afternoon had gone too well. With no discernible drama, Valentino Rossi had taken pole position for his home race – the Italian Grand Prix at Mugello and all the commentators seemed sure that he would win the race and make it seven from seven at home.
I didn’t share their confidence. It is many a long race, too many for me to remember the exact number, since Rossi had turned a pole into a win, and not since 2005 had he strung together three consecutive victories. The day, I felt, would be one of bitter disappointment and my feelings of doom seemed mirrored by the unremitting gloom of grey skies and drizzle outside my window.
To pass the time until the main event, I watched, sort of, the 125cc and 250cc races but couldn’t pay attention although it did sink in that Italians won both. A bad omen was all I thought. No way could it be three from three.
As the tension mounted, no-one else seemed to share my concern – least of all Rossi himself who was sporting quite possibly the best and funniest helmet décor ever seen in motor racing. It featured a picture of Rossi’s own face, mouth wide, eyes wider – apparently his expression as he brakes into San Donato, the first corner after the long fast straight.
Rossi shared the front row with Dani Pedrosa and friend and compatriot Loris Capirossi (kindly towed there yesterday by the pole-sitter). Reigning World Champion Casey Stoner was on the second row and the badly-damaged (still suffering from two broken ankles) but irrepressible Jorge Lorenzo was on the third row alongside Britain’s only MotoGP representative, the talented James Toseland.
Pedrosa got the jump and led off as Stoner stormed through and even with THAT helmet, I couldn’t spot where Rossi was in the melee of third to eighth places. My nerves, already half-way shredded, were disintegrating at a rate of knots. Then things settled, a bit. By the end of lap 2, the Ducati was in the lead (pleasing a good fair proportion of the Italian crowd) and Rossi was vying with Pedrosa for second (pleasing almost everyone else). Rossi didn’t take long to dispatch the Spaniard and then appropriately made the smoothest of moves on Stoner cutting underneath at Casanova Corner – where the stands were entirely yellow with his fans – and took the lead.
Meanwhile in the following group, James Toseland, on his first visit to the circuit, battled for seventh place with Alex de Angelis and at the back poor Marco Melandri’s nightmare season got even worse as he tangled with de Puniet and ended up in the tyre barrier. It’s more than likely that we won’t see Marco on a factory Ducati again.
The carnage continued as John Hopkins crashed out as did poor old Jorge Lorenzo. Quite frankly it’s a miracle that Jorge had made it through the previous two races, and although a DNF doesn’t help his Championship chances, as long as he hasn’t done more damage to his poor old ankles, a truncated race might be the best thing for him.
At the front, Rossi seemed to be serenely pulling out a lead with Stoner, the slowest of the top three, riding a superbly defensive race keeping Pedrosa tucked safely behind him. This could be nothing but good for Valle, then just as my heartbeat was returning to something like normal, the Ducati ran wide and Dani was through. The chase was on – or maybe not. Like a terrier after a rat, Casey harried the Honda, riding as well as I’ve ever seen him, displaying that well-known Aussie attitude of never-say-die, and with 10 laps to go they were side-by-side down the straight. Taking second place back off Pedrosa had nothing to do with superior horse-power – it was sheer bravery and derring-do and seemed to knock the stuffing out of Dani.
By this stage Rossi was two and a half seconds down the road and under normal circumstances, I would have begun to relax. Instead, on this most nerve-wracking and anxiety-ridden of afternoons, I immediately began to worry about tyre-wear. Bridgestone had never won at Mugello, there had hardly been any dry running over the weekend so how could the teams know whether they’d made the right choice? Last year Rossi was on Michelins so could even he, the master, judge whether there was enough left in the rubber to push again if Casey began to close?
I felt sick, sweating, shaking. When Steve Parrish pointed out that there was no place to relax around the Mugello circuit, I shouted “Try being on my sofa!” at the screen.
I needed the race director to focus on the Edwards/Toseland battle for fifth to distract me but no, the Italian director (not unreasonably) kept the cameras relentlessly on first Rossi on the track then on the Yamaha team in the pits.
The last few laps, as Valentino glided round the track, seemed to last forever and it wasn’t until he took the chequered flag, two seconds ahead of Stoner, that I began to breathe normally and believe that The Doctor had done the business.
Even now, several hours later, I find it hard to explain even to myself why this race provoked such anxiety. Perhaps, unlike Valentino who seemed totally relaxed all weekend, I felt the weight of expectation on my shoulders. Rossi was, after all, chasing a seventh victory at Mugello.
Well, he did it and so Charlie Cox was able to end the commentary informing us that no-one else in MotoGP except Valentino Rossi has ever won at Mugello.
So does this answer the question in the title of this piece? Is Rossi the Greatest Of All Time? Colin Edwards, Rossi’s team mate at Yamaha from 2005 to 2007 and the one who coined the phrase, obviously thinks so.
Rossi goes to next week’s race at the Catalunya Circuit in Spain leading by 12 points, on the back of three consecutive victories and a fine chance of taking the Championship for the first time since 2005. Should he do so, there will be no doubt about his place in the pantheon of greats on two wheels.
Today, he has taken a great step towards that position at the very top of the table.
I didn’t share their confidence. It is many a long race, too many for me to remember the exact number, since Rossi had turned a pole into a win, and not since 2005 had he strung together three consecutive victories. The day, I felt, would be one of bitter disappointment and my feelings of doom seemed mirrored by the unremitting gloom of grey skies and drizzle outside my window.
To pass the time until the main event, I watched, sort of, the 125cc and 250cc races but couldn’t pay attention although it did sink in that Italians won both. A bad omen was all I thought. No way could it be three from three.
As the tension mounted, no-one else seemed to share my concern – least of all Rossi himself who was sporting quite possibly the best and funniest helmet décor ever seen in motor racing. It featured a picture of Rossi’s own face, mouth wide, eyes wider – apparently his expression as he brakes into San Donato, the first corner after the long fast straight.
Rossi shared the front row with Dani Pedrosa and friend and compatriot Loris Capirossi (kindly towed there yesterday by the pole-sitter). Reigning World Champion Casey Stoner was on the second row and the badly-damaged (still suffering from two broken ankles) but irrepressible Jorge Lorenzo was on the third row alongside Britain’s only MotoGP representative, the talented James Toseland.
Pedrosa got the jump and led off as Stoner stormed through and even with THAT helmet, I couldn’t spot where Rossi was in the melee of third to eighth places. My nerves, already half-way shredded, were disintegrating at a rate of knots. Then things settled, a bit. By the end of lap 2, the Ducati was in the lead (pleasing a good fair proportion of the Italian crowd) and Rossi was vying with Pedrosa for second (pleasing almost everyone else). Rossi didn’t take long to dispatch the Spaniard and then appropriately made the smoothest of moves on Stoner cutting underneath at Casanova Corner – where the stands were entirely yellow with his fans – and took the lead.
Meanwhile in the following group, James Toseland, on his first visit to the circuit, battled for seventh place with Alex de Angelis and at the back poor Marco Melandri’s nightmare season got even worse as he tangled with de Puniet and ended up in the tyre barrier. It’s more than likely that we won’t see Marco on a factory Ducati again.
The carnage continued as John Hopkins crashed out as did poor old Jorge Lorenzo. Quite frankly it’s a miracle that Jorge had made it through the previous two races, and although a DNF doesn’t help his Championship chances, as long as he hasn’t done more damage to his poor old ankles, a truncated race might be the best thing for him.
At the front, Rossi seemed to be serenely pulling out a lead with Stoner, the slowest of the top three, riding a superbly defensive race keeping Pedrosa tucked safely behind him. This could be nothing but good for Valle, then just as my heartbeat was returning to something like normal, the Ducati ran wide and Dani was through. The chase was on – or maybe not. Like a terrier after a rat, Casey harried the Honda, riding as well as I’ve ever seen him, displaying that well-known Aussie attitude of never-say-die, and with 10 laps to go they were side-by-side down the straight. Taking second place back off Pedrosa had nothing to do with superior horse-power – it was sheer bravery and derring-do and seemed to knock the stuffing out of Dani.
By this stage Rossi was two and a half seconds down the road and under normal circumstances, I would have begun to relax. Instead, on this most nerve-wracking and anxiety-ridden of afternoons, I immediately began to worry about tyre-wear. Bridgestone had never won at Mugello, there had hardly been any dry running over the weekend so how could the teams know whether they’d made the right choice? Last year Rossi was on Michelins so could even he, the master, judge whether there was enough left in the rubber to push again if Casey began to close?
I felt sick, sweating, shaking. When Steve Parrish pointed out that there was no place to relax around the Mugello circuit, I shouted “Try being on my sofa!” at the screen.
I needed the race director to focus on the Edwards/Toseland battle for fifth to distract me but no, the Italian director (not unreasonably) kept the cameras relentlessly on first Rossi on the track then on the Yamaha team in the pits.
The last few laps, as Valentino glided round the track, seemed to last forever and it wasn’t until he took the chequered flag, two seconds ahead of Stoner, that I began to breathe normally and believe that The Doctor had done the business.
Even now, several hours later, I find it hard to explain even to myself why this race provoked such anxiety. Perhaps, unlike Valentino who seemed totally relaxed all weekend, I felt the weight of expectation on my shoulders. Rossi was, after all, chasing a seventh victory at Mugello.
Well, he did it and so Charlie Cox was able to end the commentary informing us that no-one else in MotoGP except Valentino Rossi has ever won at Mugello.
So does this answer the question in the title of this piece? Is Rossi the Greatest Of All Time? Colin Edwards, Rossi’s team mate at Yamaha from 2005 to 2007 and the one who coined the phrase, obviously thinks so.
Rossi goes to next week’s race at the Catalunya Circuit in Spain leading by 12 points, on the back of three consecutive victories and a fine chance of taking the Championship for the first time since 2005. Should he do so, there will be no doubt about his place in the pantheon of greats on two wheels.
Today, he has taken a great step towards that position at the very top of the table.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Football is over, bring on the whites and Lycra - Mimitig
Welcome to MY summer!
Hello readers. As May races to its conclusion, the thoughts (and lusts) of all well-adjusted sports fans hasten to the sunshine domination of men in pristine whites and lots and lots of lycra – hopefully plenty of it pink.
Thanks to the inevitably pitiful performances of the Home Countries' badly-dressed football players, there is nothing to distract you all now from the glories of Test Cricket and Pro-Cycling. Well, yes I know there’s still Euro 2008 and some of you may have teams to support, but let’s face it, you lot have all had a long season with your home leagues to be keen on, and it’s time to embrace the PROPER summer sports.
And it is starting now. Well, not really – cricket has been underway for a month. The county season is almost a quarter of the way through, and my local season began on a freezing cold Saturday a month ago when Lossie played a triangular Twenty20 against Elgin and Fochabers at the really pretty (when the trees have leaves) Fochabers ground beside the Spey. We’ve even had the first Test match – last week at Lord’s, but the weather cost two days of play and England the win, so we forget that and start again at Old Trafford tomorrow with the second New Zealand Test.
For the men in lycra, they’ve done some of the hardest kilometres (outwith Le Tour) already. They warmed up as usual with the stuff like Qatar, Langkawi, California (that one was a little bit silly this year as Michael Ball – no not the singing one – attempted to make cycling the new rock and roll but it all went wrong and Cipo went off in a huff), and the Tour Downunder. Actually that wasn’t a bad show – except for wet weather round Adelaide way, but it will be a long time, maybe even a lifetime, before any of these races are regarded as anything other than warm-ups for some or desperate attempts at publicity for some others.
If that seems a harsh judgement on colonial/out-of-Europe racing, well, it is and there’s a reason for it. Cycling is desperately reaching out for new global markets, but its heart and soul will always belong in the north. Will belong on the harsh, unforgiving paves of Belgium and northern France, will suffer the desperate weather so often flung at the Paris-Roubaix (The Hell of the North) and no early season races in clement climes will ever change that.
So, we had the skirmishes. Astana’s Levi Leipheimer won in the US of A, Tom “Beloved of the Belgians” Boonen took honours in Qatar, and Cadel Evans attacked, yes attacked, at the Ruta del Sol. Moving back to Europe Philippe Gilbert took the Het Volk, Fabian Cancellara triumphed in Italy (twice) and one of my favourites, Alejandro Valverde, won the tour of Murcia and Liege-Bastogne. Tom triumphed at Paris-Roubaix and his team-mate at Quick Step, Stijn Devolder, took the Tour of Flanders. Oscar Freire won at Ghent and Kim Kirchen was splendid winning the Fleche Wallonne.
In all, the proper season has started, well, properly. Boonen is back on form, with some pomp, and Quick Step are right there in the team standings. For those with a GB interest, Mark Cavendish (The Manx Express) has come out of the blocks all guns blazing with stage wins in the Three Days of De Panne, an outright win at the Scheldeprijs Vlaanderen, and a stage at the Giro. Times look good for High Road.
New team, Slipstream – the boys in Argyll - David Millar’s boys, haven’t had wins yet, but Martin Maaskant rode to 12th on the Tour of Flanders and fourth in Paris-Roubaix like an old pro and yet no-one has ever really heard of him. Boss Jonathan Vaughters has nicked him from Rabobank, and nobody noticed! Look out for him in years to come. He’s only 24 years old.
For anyone who cares about cycling, the best news is that we are mostly not seeing the same old names at the top of the sheets and the races so far have been unpredictable. And exciting, and most likely drug-free. Noticeably in the Classics, no team has been able to dominate in the way we have seen over the past decade or so. Individual skill and strength has determined results far more than the old predictable pattern.
The only old names hitting the headlines in a bad way are Alexandre Vinokourov – banned from the Pro Tour for doping but allegedly training now for Beijing, and Ivan Basso – signed by Liquigas but not allowed to ride in France, or Germany, or probably Britain or Spain. Doesn’t leave much for a Pro-cyclist, does it?
It’s way too early to make predictions about cycling’s most important event, Le Tour, but one prediction I’m happy to make is that this is going to be the most open and exciting Tour that we’ve seen in years. The Giro is drawing to its conclusion and unless I’m much mistaken in reading results, Cav is second in the standings as I write. An incredibly unexpected result, not withstanding his earlier stage win.
For the cricket-interested, we go into Test Two against New Zealand with an unchanged side from Lord’s, but on a ground far more suited to the England attack. Monty Panesar has a superb record there (18 or so wickets in the meagre handful of matches he has played) and unless the weather plays a bad fairy role, I’d be looking for an England win come next Tuesday.
All in all, my summer is looking good, in white and in lycra. Not sure I’d want the boys to swap sporting disciplines or dress. Kevin Pietersen in pink lycra is an image I can well do without!
And I can truly declare Football to be over as I learn that Celtic has won the SPL – and that is a worthy tribute to Tommy Burns. I’m glad Celtic won by beating Dundee – I hate to think what is happening on the streets of Aberdeen right now as I read that Rangers were beaten 2-0 by the Dons.
Hello readers. As May races to its conclusion, the thoughts (and lusts) of all well-adjusted sports fans hasten to the sunshine domination of men in pristine whites and lots and lots of lycra – hopefully plenty of it pink.
Thanks to the inevitably pitiful performances of the Home Countries' badly-dressed football players, there is nothing to distract you all now from the glories of Test Cricket and Pro-Cycling. Well, yes I know there’s still Euro 2008 and some of you may have teams to support, but let’s face it, you lot have all had a long season with your home leagues to be keen on, and it’s time to embrace the PROPER summer sports.
And it is starting now. Well, not really – cricket has been underway for a month. The county season is almost a quarter of the way through, and my local season began on a freezing cold Saturday a month ago when Lossie played a triangular Twenty20 against Elgin and Fochabers at the really pretty (when the trees have leaves) Fochabers ground beside the Spey. We’ve even had the first Test match – last week at Lord’s, but the weather cost two days of play and England the win, so we forget that and start again at Old Trafford tomorrow with the second New Zealand Test.
For the men in lycra, they’ve done some of the hardest kilometres (outwith Le Tour) already. They warmed up as usual with the stuff like Qatar, Langkawi, California (that one was a little bit silly this year as Michael Ball – no not the singing one – attempted to make cycling the new rock and roll but it all went wrong and Cipo went off in a huff), and the Tour Downunder. Actually that wasn’t a bad show – except for wet weather round Adelaide way, but it will be a long time, maybe even a lifetime, before any of these races are regarded as anything other than warm-ups for some or desperate attempts at publicity for some others.
If that seems a harsh judgement on colonial/out-of-Europe racing, well, it is and there’s a reason for it. Cycling is desperately reaching out for new global markets, but its heart and soul will always belong in the north. Will belong on the harsh, unforgiving paves of Belgium and northern France, will suffer the desperate weather so often flung at the Paris-Roubaix (The Hell of the North) and no early season races in clement climes will ever change that.
So, we had the skirmishes. Astana’s Levi Leipheimer won in the US of A, Tom “Beloved of the Belgians” Boonen took honours in Qatar, and Cadel Evans attacked, yes attacked, at the Ruta del Sol. Moving back to Europe Philippe Gilbert took the Het Volk, Fabian Cancellara triumphed in Italy (twice) and one of my favourites, Alejandro Valverde, won the tour of Murcia and Liege-Bastogne. Tom triumphed at Paris-Roubaix and his team-mate at Quick Step, Stijn Devolder, took the Tour of Flanders. Oscar Freire won at Ghent and Kim Kirchen was splendid winning the Fleche Wallonne.
In all, the proper season has started, well, properly. Boonen is back on form, with some pomp, and Quick Step are right there in the team standings. For those with a GB interest, Mark Cavendish (The Manx Express) has come out of the blocks all guns blazing with stage wins in the Three Days of De Panne, an outright win at the Scheldeprijs Vlaanderen, and a stage at the Giro. Times look good for High Road.
New team, Slipstream – the boys in Argyll - David Millar’s boys, haven’t had wins yet, but Martin Maaskant rode to 12th on the Tour of Flanders and fourth in Paris-Roubaix like an old pro and yet no-one has ever really heard of him. Boss Jonathan Vaughters has nicked him from Rabobank, and nobody noticed! Look out for him in years to come. He’s only 24 years old.
For anyone who cares about cycling, the best news is that we are mostly not seeing the same old names at the top of the sheets and the races so far have been unpredictable. And exciting, and most likely drug-free. Noticeably in the Classics, no team has been able to dominate in the way we have seen over the past decade or so. Individual skill and strength has determined results far more than the old predictable pattern.
The only old names hitting the headlines in a bad way are Alexandre Vinokourov – banned from the Pro Tour for doping but allegedly training now for Beijing, and Ivan Basso – signed by Liquigas but not allowed to ride in France, or Germany, or probably Britain or Spain. Doesn’t leave much for a Pro-cyclist, does it?
It’s way too early to make predictions about cycling’s most important event, Le Tour, but one prediction I’m happy to make is that this is going to be the most open and exciting Tour that we’ve seen in years. The Giro is drawing to its conclusion and unless I’m much mistaken in reading results, Cav is second in the standings as I write. An incredibly unexpected result, not withstanding his earlier stage win.
For the cricket-interested, we go into Test Two against New Zealand with an unchanged side from Lord’s, but on a ground far more suited to the England attack. Monty Panesar has a superb record there (18 or so wickets in the meagre handful of matches he has played) and unless the weather plays a bad fairy role, I’d be looking for an England win come next Tuesday.
All in all, my summer is looking good, in white and in lycra. Not sure I’d want the boys to swap sporting disciplines or dress. Kevin Pietersen in pink lycra is an image I can well do without!
And I can truly declare Football to be over as I learn that Celtic has won the SPL – and that is a worthy tribute to Tommy Burns. I’m glad Celtic won by beating Dundee – I hate to think what is happening on the streets of Aberdeen right now as I read that Rangers were beaten 2-0 by the Dons.
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
History through Hiddink - byebyebadman
The all-English final is almost upon us. In Moscow the Russian owned Chelsea and American owned Manchester United will pit their multi-national playing and coaching staff against each other for victory in the biggest club game ever played between two, in name and home at least, English clubs.
They began their association with this competition some time ago. Chelsea were champions of England when Gabriel Hanot sent out the invites to the first jamboree back in 1955, and declined the offer. Matt Busby’s RSVP was more positive the following year, openly defying the FA to drag English football kicking and screaming into the twentieth century.
In this twenty-first century alone the revamped version of the old continents’ premier competition has provided an all Spanish, all-Italian and now an all English final. Since it became no longer the preserve of League champions only the door was always open to this kind of big league domination and La Liga, Serie A and the Premier League have greedily taken over.
As coach of the Russian national team Gus Hiddink will be present in Moscow on Wednesday, and whilst in charge of PSV Eindhoven in 2005 he was responsible for providing the only Champions League semi-finalist from outside of Spain, Italy and England in the last four seasons. And if we go back further into Hiddinks history, twenty years ago this month he was winning the trophy during a previous stint with the Dutch club in a footballing era never to be seen again.
It was only five years away from becoming the Champions League, but in the 1987-88 season the European Cup was still contested as Hanot had originally intended – the champions of each European association go into a hat, are drawn at random and play over two legs until two are left to contest a one-off game in May for that glorious captain-obscuring trophy. No coefficients, no four places, no self-perpetuating glory. It was short, sweet and unique. The novelty value of European football always lay in its rarity, something that evaporates when you play Roma six times in one calendar year.
If you played at all that is. English champions Everton were absent that season as the clubs of fair albion were still banned from all European competition post Heysel. The open draw format would however ensure a first round tie that the current Champions League was set up to avoid. Whilst Lillestrom played Linfield, Shamrock Rovers took on Omonia Nicosia and Neuchatel Xamax did battle with FC Kuusyi, the champions of Italy and Spain – Maradona’s Napoli and the Real Madrid of Hugo Sanchez – were forced to compete for the right to stay in the competition longer than September 20th.
If that was surreal, Maradona’s debut in the elite European competition took him back to the Bernabeu to be watched by precisely no fans at all. After crowd trouble the previous season Madrid had to play their first home game behind closed doors, and one wonders if UEFA would have the cahones to mete out that punishment to a giant of the game for such a prestigious fixture these days. Would they in fact hand out anything similar to the draconian punishment they imposed on KS Partizani? After having four players sent off against Benfica, the Albanian champions were expelled from the competition before they could play the second leg.
El Diego’s first of only two cracks at the European Cup ended swiftly, with Real winning two-nil at the deserted Bernebeu and earning a one-all draw in Naples. The Spanish champions did make it to the semi-finals before running into Hiddink’s PSV and losing on away goals. Waiting for them in the final in Stuttgart were Benfica, who having survived the ordeal of KS Partizani got the better of Steaua Bucharest in the semi-finals. From communist eastern Europe, Steaua had been champions of Europe just two years earlier. Hiddink’s team would eventually triumph on penalties, capping a fairly incredible first year in full-time management in which he also won the Dutch first division title and the KNVB Cup.
I wonder if Hiddink will reflect upon how the competition has changed since those heady days when he witnesses the wealth and power of the Premier League’s finest on Wednesday. For much of the Champions League era Hiddink has concerned himself with international management rather than club management, taking Holland and South Korea to the World Cup semi-finals and last time pushing eventual winners Italy to the brink of elimination in round two. The shift from European Cup to Champions League, from level playing field to big club love-in, took place largely in his absence.
When he sees John Terry tackling Wayne Rooney, Joe Cole skipping past Rio Ferdinand or Owen Hargreaves and Frank Lampard contesting the midfield, he may also get a sense of what might have been. As many people’s favourite for the England job post-Eriksson they could and should have been his players, but Hiddink was eventually overlooked on grounds of nationality rather than talent as the FA plumped for Steve McClaren, with horrendous results. In a delicious irony Hiddink instead went to manage Russia, who nipped in ahead of England to qualify from group E.
An all-English Champions League Final weeks before a European Championships for which the England national team could not qualify is quite a paradox. When the game is decided on Wednesday Rooney, Terry and Lampard will go on holiday for the summer and Gus Hiddink will go to work. The Premier League might boast enough riches to make Solomon blush but not everything is as rosy in the garden of English football as the stature of her clubs may lead you to believe.
They began their association with this competition some time ago. Chelsea were champions of England when Gabriel Hanot sent out the invites to the first jamboree back in 1955, and declined the offer. Matt Busby’s RSVP was more positive the following year, openly defying the FA to drag English football kicking and screaming into the twentieth century.
In this twenty-first century alone the revamped version of the old continents’ premier competition has provided an all Spanish, all-Italian and now an all English final. Since it became no longer the preserve of League champions only the door was always open to this kind of big league domination and La Liga, Serie A and the Premier League have greedily taken over.
As coach of the Russian national team Gus Hiddink will be present in Moscow on Wednesday, and whilst in charge of PSV Eindhoven in 2005 he was responsible for providing the only Champions League semi-finalist from outside of Spain, Italy and England in the last four seasons. And if we go back further into Hiddinks history, twenty years ago this month he was winning the trophy during a previous stint with the Dutch club in a footballing era never to be seen again.
It was only five years away from becoming the Champions League, but in the 1987-88 season the European Cup was still contested as Hanot had originally intended – the champions of each European association go into a hat, are drawn at random and play over two legs until two are left to contest a one-off game in May for that glorious captain-obscuring trophy. No coefficients, no four places, no self-perpetuating glory. It was short, sweet and unique. The novelty value of European football always lay in its rarity, something that evaporates when you play Roma six times in one calendar year.
If you played at all that is. English champions Everton were absent that season as the clubs of fair albion were still banned from all European competition post Heysel. The open draw format would however ensure a first round tie that the current Champions League was set up to avoid. Whilst Lillestrom played Linfield, Shamrock Rovers took on Omonia Nicosia and Neuchatel Xamax did battle with FC Kuusyi, the champions of Italy and Spain – Maradona’s Napoli and the Real Madrid of Hugo Sanchez – were forced to compete for the right to stay in the competition longer than September 20th.
If that was surreal, Maradona’s debut in the elite European competition took him back to the Bernabeu to be watched by precisely no fans at all. After crowd trouble the previous season Madrid had to play their first home game behind closed doors, and one wonders if UEFA would have the cahones to mete out that punishment to a giant of the game for such a prestigious fixture these days. Would they in fact hand out anything similar to the draconian punishment they imposed on KS Partizani? After having four players sent off against Benfica, the Albanian champions were expelled from the competition before they could play the second leg.
El Diego’s first of only two cracks at the European Cup ended swiftly, with Real winning two-nil at the deserted Bernebeu and earning a one-all draw in Naples. The Spanish champions did make it to the semi-finals before running into Hiddink’s PSV and losing on away goals. Waiting for them in the final in Stuttgart were Benfica, who having survived the ordeal of KS Partizani got the better of Steaua Bucharest in the semi-finals. From communist eastern Europe, Steaua had been champions of Europe just two years earlier. Hiddink’s team would eventually triumph on penalties, capping a fairly incredible first year in full-time management in which he also won the Dutch first division title and the KNVB Cup.
I wonder if Hiddink will reflect upon how the competition has changed since those heady days when he witnesses the wealth and power of the Premier League’s finest on Wednesday. For much of the Champions League era Hiddink has concerned himself with international management rather than club management, taking Holland and South Korea to the World Cup semi-finals and last time pushing eventual winners Italy to the brink of elimination in round two. The shift from European Cup to Champions League, from level playing field to big club love-in, took place largely in his absence.
When he sees John Terry tackling Wayne Rooney, Joe Cole skipping past Rio Ferdinand or Owen Hargreaves and Frank Lampard contesting the midfield, he may also get a sense of what might have been. As many people’s favourite for the England job post-Eriksson they could and should have been his players, but Hiddink was eventually overlooked on grounds of nationality rather than talent as the FA plumped for Steve McClaren, with horrendous results. In a delicious irony Hiddink instead went to manage Russia, who nipped in ahead of England to qualify from group E.
An all-English Champions League Final weeks before a European Championships for which the England national team could not qualify is quite a paradox. When the game is decided on Wednesday Rooney, Terry and Lampard will go on holiday for the summer and Gus Hiddink will go to work. The Premier League might boast enough riches to make Solomon blush but not everything is as rosy in the garden of English football as the stature of her clubs may lead you to believe.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Ligue 1 Roundup - offsideintahiti
For the first time in seven years, the title was undecided going into the last day of the season as Lyon (1st, 76 pts) held only a two-point lead over Bordeaux (2nd, 74 pts). [standings and points going into the last game] In fact, the suspense was global, with a "duel à distance" between Nancy (3rd, 60 pts) and Marseille (4th, 59 pts) for third place and the preliminary round of the Champions' League, a three- way race between Lille (5th, 56 pts), St-Étienne (6th, 55 pts), and Rennes (7th, 55 pts) for the other UEFA Cup spot, and another three-way race (of the hair-raising, don't-look-down, vertigo-inducing variety) between Paris Saint-Germain (16th, 40 pts), Toulouse (17th, 39 pts), and Lens (18th, 39 pts) to avoid the last relegation spot.
Ligue 1 has a reputation for being a low-scoring, cagey, boringly tactical league which Lyon invariably win anyway. Well, this time it was going to be massively different, at least with regard to the "low-scoring" tag. Those last ten games produced 43 goals, and with a modicum of research I might even be able to tell you whether it's a record or not, or how it compares with the season's average. Let's just say that it was a hell of a lot better than day 27, in which all of 13 goals were scored and four games ended nil-nil. And the suspense? It was incredible. Let's begin at the top.
Under so much pressure, would Lyon manage to get the draw they needed at Auxerre (15th, 44 pts)? Would they? The country was on the edge of its sofa, and it took Karim Benzema no less than 24 seconds to throw millions of French viewers slumping backwards under the weight of inevitability and earn himself the title of top scorer with his twentieth of the season. Fred, Lyon's Brazilian striker, wrapped it up in the 9th minute, thus making sure that Bordeaux's efforts at Lens would prove entirely futile and that the title would be heading back to the capital of the Rhône region for the seventh consecutive time.
And no one really wants to dwell on that so let's give credit to Bordeaux who, under the tutelage of rookie manager Laurent Blanc, and with a mix of youth (Bellion, Ducasse, Obertan) and experience (Micoud, Jurietti, Ramé), managed to push Lyon almost all the way. In the end, even though Bordeaux finished four points behind, it could be argued that they had a better season than the Champions. Over 36 games against all the other teams, they collected 75 points to Lyon's 73. It was only in the head-to-head that they were undone, beaten home and away by Alain Perrin's men. We will now find out whether Laurent Blanc is as good in the transfer market as he was as a centre-half, but if he can keep hold of his Argentine and Brazilian duo of Cavenaghi and Wendel (27 goals between them) and reinforce an ageing defense, he might put pressure on Lyon again next year. At least, this season's qualification for the Champion's League will give him the funds necessary for such a challenge.
And the suspense? Oh yeah. Elsewhere, Paris Saint-Germain and Toulouse both scored early, thus making sure Lens's efforts to avoid the drop against Bordeaux would prove entirely futile. And so the club with the large neo-nazi element in their support stays up, while the club with the friendliest, noisiest fans in the country go down, and no one really wants to dwell on that. What Toulouse don't want to dwell on is the embarrasment of starting the season facing Liverpool in the preliminary round of the Champions' League and finishing it escaping relegation by way of a narrow, nervous 2-1 win over Valenciennes. So let's move on.
And yes, I did promise suspense. But there wasn't much of that on offer in the fight for fifth place. As Lille couldn't do better than a draw at Lorient and St-Étienne went on a 4-0 rampage against a desperately out of sorts Monaco (12th, 47 pts), "Les Verts" clinch it and will taste European football again for the first time in 26 years. The last time they travelled abroad, their number 10 was one Michel Platini and their current coach, Laurent Roussey, spearheaded their attack.
So what are we left with? 3rd place, the Champions' League preliminary round and the right to start next season with a heroic defeat against the likes of Arsenal, Barcelona, Juventus, or Liverpool. Marseille and Nancy really did fall over themselves to earn that privilege. Nancy, whose only claim to fame is a couple of domestic cups and bringing a young Michel Platini through their ranks, had been on the podium since day 5 and were unbeaten at home this season. If they could just get a draw at home to Rennes, their young Uruguayan coach, Pablo Correa, would equal the club's best ever finish. All Marseille could do was beat an already relegated Strasbourg at the Stade Vélodrome and hope for a little help in Lorraine.
Amazingly, it came through the unlikely source of Mickaël Pagis, whose goals had helped Marseille clinch a CL spot last season, only to be told his contract would not be renewed. The brace he scored for Rennes on Saturday proved just as important, as the club from Brittany ended Nancy's unbeaten home record, winning 3-2 and handing it over to Marseille on a plate. All the southerners had to do was help themselves. An opponent with nothing to play for. A sixty-thousand stong home support. No injury or suspension worries. How easy can it get?
Marseille duly took an early lead through their Senegalese striker, Mamadou Niang, and then quietly collapsed. Strasbourg scored twice in 20 minutes, handing back to Nancy. Marseille could be forgiven for their slumber. On day 12, they were in 19th place, and the long climb back up under newly appointed coach and ex Belgium international, Éric Gerets, had taken its toll. It took something out of the ordinary to revive them. A couple of minutes before half-time, Niang and the Strasbourg keeper both went for a high ball. The ensuing clash of heads meant play was held for long minutes and the visiting keeper eventually had to go off. His replacement's first intervention, in the third minute of stoppage time, was to bring Djibril Cissé down and give away a penalty. His second intervention was to save it, only to see the rebound hit the ex-Liverpool star in the head and go in. In the fith minute of stoppage time, Samir Nasri rifled in the sweetest left-foot volley from 12 yards to make it 3-2.
With the Nancy boys floundering, and Marseille cruising through the second half on auto-pilot, it looked all set. Until 20 minutes from time, when Strasbourg, who still had nothing to play for but were determined to enjoy themselves, scored again to level at 3-3. Nancy pushed everyone forward in search of an equaliser, but, with a few minutes left on the clock, it was Djibril Cissé who raced on a through ball and, with his 16th goal of a long, long season, sent the Vélodrome faithful into raptures and Marseille into the Champions' League.
In short: Lyon for the title, Bordeaux and Marseille for the CL, Nancy and St-Étienne for UEFA, Metz, Strasbourg and Lens down to Ligue 2, Le Havre, Nantes, and Grenoble coming up to replace them, PSG and Lyon to meet in the final of the Coupe de France next week, and my job is a lot easier than Premcorr's, who does it every week.
Ligue 1 has a reputation for being a low-scoring, cagey, boringly tactical league which Lyon invariably win anyway. Well, this time it was going to be massively different, at least with regard to the "low-scoring" tag. Those last ten games produced 43 goals, and with a modicum of research I might even be able to tell you whether it's a record or not, or how it compares with the season's average. Let's just say that it was a hell of a lot better than day 27, in which all of 13 goals were scored and four games ended nil-nil. And the suspense? It was incredible. Let's begin at the top.
Under so much pressure, would Lyon manage to get the draw they needed at Auxerre (15th, 44 pts)? Would they? The country was on the edge of its sofa, and it took Karim Benzema no less than 24 seconds to throw millions of French viewers slumping backwards under the weight of inevitability and earn himself the title of top scorer with his twentieth of the season. Fred, Lyon's Brazilian striker, wrapped it up in the 9th minute, thus making sure that Bordeaux's efforts at Lens would prove entirely futile and that the title would be heading back to the capital of the Rhône region for the seventh consecutive time.
And no one really wants to dwell on that so let's give credit to Bordeaux who, under the tutelage of rookie manager Laurent Blanc, and with a mix of youth (Bellion, Ducasse, Obertan) and experience (Micoud, Jurietti, Ramé), managed to push Lyon almost all the way. In the end, even though Bordeaux finished four points behind, it could be argued that they had a better season than the Champions. Over 36 games against all the other teams, they collected 75 points to Lyon's 73. It was only in the head-to-head that they were undone, beaten home and away by Alain Perrin's men. We will now find out whether Laurent Blanc is as good in the transfer market as he was as a centre-half, but if he can keep hold of his Argentine and Brazilian duo of Cavenaghi and Wendel (27 goals between them) and reinforce an ageing defense, he might put pressure on Lyon again next year. At least, this season's qualification for the Champion's League will give him the funds necessary for such a challenge.
And the suspense? Oh yeah. Elsewhere, Paris Saint-Germain and Toulouse both scored early, thus making sure Lens's efforts to avoid the drop against Bordeaux would prove entirely futile. And so the club with the large neo-nazi element in their support stays up, while the club with the friendliest, noisiest fans in the country go down, and no one really wants to dwell on that. What Toulouse don't want to dwell on is the embarrasment of starting the season facing Liverpool in the preliminary round of the Champions' League and finishing it escaping relegation by way of a narrow, nervous 2-1 win over Valenciennes. So let's move on.
And yes, I did promise suspense. But there wasn't much of that on offer in the fight for fifth place. As Lille couldn't do better than a draw at Lorient and St-Étienne went on a 4-0 rampage against a desperately out of sorts Monaco (12th, 47 pts), "Les Verts" clinch it and will taste European football again for the first time in 26 years. The last time they travelled abroad, their number 10 was one Michel Platini and their current coach, Laurent Roussey, spearheaded their attack.
So what are we left with? 3rd place, the Champions' League preliminary round and the right to start next season with a heroic defeat against the likes of Arsenal, Barcelona, Juventus, or Liverpool. Marseille and Nancy really did fall over themselves to earn that privilege. Nancy, whose only claim to fame is a couple of domestic cups and bringing a young Michel Platini through their ranks, had been on the podium since day 5 and were unbeaten at home this season. If they could just get a draw at home to Rennes, their young Uruguayan coach, Pablo Correa, would equal the club's best ever finish. All Marseille could do was beat an already relegated Strasbourg at the Stade Vélodrome and hope for a little help in Lorraine.
Amazingly, it came through the unlikely source of Mickaël Pagis, whose goals had helped Marseille clinch a CL spot last season, only to be told his contract would not be renewed. The brace he scored for Rennes on Saturday proved just as important, as the club from Brittany ended Nancy's unbeaten home record, winning 3-2 and handing it over to Marseille on a plate. All the southerners had to do was help themselves. An opponent with nothing to play for. A sixty-thousand stong home support. No injury or suspension worries. How easy can it get?
Marseille duly took an early lead through their Senegalese striker, Mamadou Niang, and then quietly collapsed. Strasbourg scored twice in 20 minutes, handing back to Nancy. Marseille could be forgiven for their slumber. On day 12, they were in 19th place, and the long climb back up under newly appointed coach and ex Belgium international, Éric Gerets, had taken its toll. It took something out of the ordinary to revive them. A couple of minutes before half-time, Niang and the Strasbourg keeper both went for a high ball. The ensuing clash of heads meant play was held for long minutes and the visiting keeper eventually had to go off. His replacement's first intervention, in the third minute of stoppage time, was to bring Djibril Cissé down and give away a penalty. His second intervention was to save it, only to see the rebound hit the ex-Liverpool star in the head and go in. In the fith minute of stoppage time, Samir Nasri rifled in the sweetest left-foot volley from 12 yards to make it 3-2.
With the Nancy boys floundering, and Marseille cruising through the second half on auto-pilot, it looked all set. Until 20 minutes from time, when Strasbourg, who still had nothing to play for but were determined to enjoy themselves, scored again to level at 3-3. Nancy pushed everyone forward in search of an equaliser, but, with a few minutes left on the clock, it was Djibril Cissé who raced on a through ball and, with his 16th goal of a long, long season, sent the Vélodrome faithful into raptures and Marseille into the Champions' League.
In short: Lyon for the title, Bordeaux and Marseille for the CL, Nancy and St-Étienne for UEFA, Metz, Strasbourg and Lens down to Ligue 2, Le Havre, Nantes, and Grenoble coming up to replace them, PSG and Lyon to meet in the final of the Coupe de France next week, and my job is a lot easier than Premcorr's, who does it every week.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Final resolution - Premcorrespondent
Well, now we know. After 380 games, 35,000 odd minutes this year and over more than 10 seasons - it is official. Derby are the worst team to ever play in the top flight.
They mustered a meagre 20 goals all season, while conceding nine more than Man U scored. More damning still, they won just one game. Cloughie must be spinning on his celestial bar stool.
So poor are they that Reading, needing an 8-0 away win to avoid relegation themselves, could reasonably entertain the prospect. Sadly for men of the Madejski stadium they only managed four.
Birmingham, despite an impressive 4-1 win against a more than able Blackburn side, join Reading and Derby in the Championship next season. Their players will now cross the Midlands and join West Brom's relegation dogfight for next season.
Fulham won the final day up of the relegation battle, more through luck than design, as they were facing the favourites for the FA Cup – who for the first time in years were mid-table nobodies and had nothing to play for. A 1-0 win against Pompey reserves keeps them in the top flight for another season and the first team in caviar and Viagra for the summer at least.
In the race for that all important "best of the rest" fifth place, Everton triumphed thanks to a 3-1 win over Newcastle. Keegan, no doubt, is currently penning a rant about the unbelievable boringness of a top five that is set in stone and demanding £300 million in transfer money to try and break into it.
West Ham finish a creditable 10th (despite spending the proverbial £300 million on players of proven Champions League form such as Belamy, Parker and Ljungberg), drawing 2-2 with "second best of the rest" Aston Villa.
The result of the day has to go to the troubled Teesiders at Boro, with an 8-1 romp against Man City. Once Richard Dunne had been sent off, this fit and proper team decided to tackle no one all game to try and hold onto their back door into Europe via the fair play league. Alfosno Alves, confronted with the marking he was used to in Holland, proceeded to score a hat-trick, Downing knocked two in and even Aliadiere managed to net for the reds.
Arsenal rounded off their season with a 1-0 thrashing of Sunderland, Sunderland were already safe and the Gunners had secured Champions League football for their sparkly new stadium for the next year at least. Maccums can look forward to a summer Roy Keane will spend hunting the fields of Ireland and Mellwood for new recruits, while Arsene Wenger will live up to his reputation as an Alsacian and patrol the grounds of the Emirates attacking anyone carrying a chequebook.
Liverpool gave Spurs a lesson in the ways they need to improve to break into the upper echelons of the league. Buy Torres and care about the result even slightly. A 2-0 win sees the reds finish 11 points clear of the rest of the pack and lets them try and qualify for the group stages of the Champions league.
I'm now off to bathe in an ice-bath to try and prepare myself for the summer of implacable rain that will surely follow this sunny May.
They mustered a meagre 20 goals all season, while conceding nine more than Man U scored. More damning still, they won just one game. Cloughie must be spinning on his celestial bar stool.
So poor are they that Reading, needing an 8-0 away win to avoid relegation themselves, could reasonably entertain the prospect. Sadly for men of the Madejski stadium they only managed four.
Birmingham, despite an impressive 4-1 win against a more than able Blackburn side, join Reading and Derby in the Championship next season. Their players will now cross the Midlands and join West Brom's relegation dogfight for next season.
Fulham won the final day up of the relegation battle, more through luck than design, as they were facing the favourites for the FA Cup – who for the first time in years were mid-table nobodies and had nothing to play for. A 1-0 win against Pompey reserves keeps them in the top flight for another season and the first team in caviar and Viagra for the summer at least.
In the race for that all important "best of the rest" fifth place, Everton triumphed thanks to a 3-1 win over Newcastle. Keegan, no doubt, is currently penning a rant about the unbelievable boringness of a top five that is set in stone and demanding £300 million in transfer money to try and break into it.
West Ham finish a creditable 10th (despite spending the proverbial £300 million on players of proven Champions League form such as Belamy, Parker and Ljungberg), drawing 2-2 with "second best of the rest" Aston Villa.
The result of the day has to go to the troubled Teesiders at Boro, with an 8-1 romp against Man City. Once Richard Dunne had been sent off, this fit and proper team decided to tackle no one all game to try and hold onto their back door into Europe via the fair play league. Alfosno Alves, confronted with the marking he was used to in Holland, proceeded to score a hat-trick, Downing knocked two in and even Aliadiere managed to net for the reds.
Arsenal rounded off their season with a 1-0 thrashing of Sunderland, Sunderland were already safe and the Gunners had secured Champions League football for their sparkly new stadium for the next year at least. Maccums can look forward to a summer Roy Keane will spend hunting the fields of Ireland and Mellwood for new recruits, while Arsene Wenger will live up to his reputation as an Alsacian and patrol the grounds of the Emirates attacking anyone carrying a chequebook.
Liverpool gave Spurs a lesson in the ways they need to improve to break into the upper echelons of the league. Buy Torres and care about the result even slightly. A 2-0 win sees the reds finish 11 points clear of the rest of the pack and lets them try and qualify for the group stages of the Champions league.
I'm now off to bathe in an ice-bath to try and prepare myself for the summer of implacable rain that will surely follow this sunny May.
Friday, May 9, 2008
The Fat Lady's garglings - PremCorrespondent
Funnily enough, the Premier League isn't over yet, with the Fat Lady in the wings ready to warble on Sunday - Sky will be pleased.
Last weekend saw her gargling away as the penultimate round of matches in the Wagneresquely long Premier League season was concluded. At the top, Manchester United declared on 4-1 vs West Ham, despite Nani's red card for acting the goat: a thrust that was parried on Monday, as Uncle Avram's Chelsea pricked Newcastle's barely tumescent revival with a 0-2 reverse at Keegan's Shrine. Michael Ballack is playing well - these Germans know a thing or two about lasting the pace in a marathon drama.
Speaking of which, Arsenal's reserves played about in front of Everton's tired men for 89 minutes and 50 seconds. Unfortunately for the Blues, the other ten seconds saw Armand Traore cross the ball for "can't run, can't control it, can't pass it, but can head it" Nicklas Bendtner to bullet a header home. If Everton were still on the pitch now, they wouldn't have scored. But neither could erstwhile form team, Aston Villa, who went down to two Valencia strikes to Wigan. Torres did the Torres thing (he does it well, when he's on the pitch) to secure three points for Liverpool against soon to be Svenless Manchester City.
At the top, Chelsea need a better result than Manchester United to pilfer the title, Arsenal are third and wondering who's going to be left in the squad next season, Liverpool are fourth, as they have been since more or less day one, and Everton need a point at home to Michael Owen, sorry, Newcastle, for fifth place and the glory that is the UEFA Cup.
At the bottom, Blackburn err... cruised past Derby, but above those no-hopers, Fulham continued to show huge heart in overcoming Birmingham at Craven Cottage. I don't much care for Brian McBride's ostentatious crossing after every goal, but you've got to admire the man and his manager. Birmingham are joined in the relegation slots by Reading, who lost 0-1 at home to a beach-bound Tottenham for whom Robbie Keane continues to bring enough good attitude to the pitch for him and Berbatov. Steve Coppell for England anyone? We could all bemoan Bolton's foolishness for selling Anelka and not replacing him, were it not for the fact that they are safe after playing Sunderland at exactly the right time of the season. El Haji Diouf signed off his stay at the Reebok with a goal: Bolton fans will be sad to see him go; nobody else will. The last game to report was Middlesborough's win over FA Cup Final bound Portsmouth in front of a handful of fans at the Riverside.
So Sunday brings the last meaningful football for three months, as the title is decided and the trap door swallows its victims. Thank God there's no football over the summer... What do you mean? There is?
Last weekend saw her gargling away as the penultimate round of matches in the Wagneresquely long Premier League season was concluded. At the top, Manchester United declared on 4-1 vs West Ham, despite Nani's red card for acting the goat: a thrust that was parried on Monday, as Uncle Avram's Chelsea pricked Newcastle's barely tumescent revival with a 0-2 reverse at Keegan's Shrine. Michael Ballack is playing well - these Germans know a thing or two about lasting the pace in a marathon drama.
Speaking of which, Arsenal's reserves played about in front of Everton's tired men for 89 minutes and 50 seconds. Unfortunately for the Blues, the other ten seconds saw Armand Traore cross the ball for "can't run, can't control it, can't pass it, but can head it" Nicklas Bendtner to bullet a header home. If Everton were still on the pitch now, they wouldn't have scored. But neither could erstwhile form team, Aston Villa, who went down to two Valencia strikes to Wigan. Torres did the Torres thing (he does it well, when he's on the pitch) to secure three points for Liverpool against soon to be Svenless Manchester City.
At the top, Chelsea need a better result than Manchester United to pilfer the title, Arsenal are third and wondering who's going to be left in the squad next season, Liverpool are fourth, as they have been since more or less day one, and Everton need a point at home to Michael Owen, sorry, Newcastle, for fifth place and the glory that is the UEFA Cup.
At the bottom, Blackburn err... cruised past Derby, but above those no-hopers, Fulham continued to show huge heart in overcoming Birmingham at Craven Cottage. I don't much care for Brian McBride's ostentatious crossing after every goal, but you've got to admire the man and his manager. Birmingham are joined in the relegation slots by Reading, who lost 0-1 at home to a beach-bound Tottenham for whom Robbie Keane continues to bring enough good attitude to the pitch for him and Berbatov. Steve Coppell for England anyone? We could all bemoan Bolton's foolishness for selling Anelka and not replacing him, were it not for the fact that they are safe after playing Sunderland at exactly the right time of the season. El Haji Diouf signed off his stay at the Reebok with a goal: Bolton fans will be sad to see him go; nobody else will. The last game to report was Middlesborough's win over FA Cup Final bound Portsmouth in front of a handful of fans at the Riverside.
So Sunday brings the last meaningful football for three months, as the title is decided and the trap door swallows its victims. Thank God there's no football over the summer... What do you mean? There is?
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Valle is back on top – Mimitig
So here we are. MotoGP is underway and we have had three races and three winners. This morning the boys were racing in Shanghai – China, just a few hundred miles away from Beijing where soon we are to face all the political ins and outs of sport and politics. Well thankfully, motorsport has been visiting China for some while, so this morning’s event was not ambushed in anyway.
As qualifying got underway, the man at the head of the table was Jorge Lorenzo – Spanish rookie in GP but World Champ in 250cc. He has been a sensation this season so far but came down to earth in a flying way with a mega crash on Thursday. Despite that, resulting in a broken ankle, he qualified pretty well. On his 21st birthday he got on the second row.
Colin Edwards took the pole, his third, but Valentino was on the front row. He was looking to slake his drought, but “Chuck It” Casey (last year’s World Champ) was also on the front row. Bit out of sorts this year so far, but so has been Valle.
Little Dani Pedrosa was on the second row, alongside equally little, but a lot older, Loris Capirossi. James “piano” Toseland made up the second row. That was qualifying – in dry conditions but although the race started in the dry, the weather was so uncertain for the race that it was declared a wet race.
Drama started early. On the warm-up lap Lorenzo stalled – would any of us done any better with a broken ankle? I doubt it. This was Jorge’s first GP race starting not on pole position.
Then the race proper got under way. Colin, off pole, was done like a kipper by the Ducati, but got it back. Lorenzo scrapped with Hayden and Toseland and Dani had a real go up the draught and got Rossi.
End of lap two and Pedrosa led Edwards led Rossi.
Then Valle got the slip-stream and took Colin. You couldn’t chuck a blanket over the rest of the bunch. Sparks flying of titanium boots – just like they used to do for us when we chucked a Doc Martens with heels as we sped down the by-pass!
This was a race today, bikes at their utmost, riders too. Bikes leaning to 50% to get the best of a corner. With 18 laps to go, Rossi was a man on a mission. He had the magnets on and breezed past Pedrosa. Silky smooth, under brakes at the end of the straight – Hot damn!
There is no-one, absolutely no-one later on the brakes and braver than Rossi.
While the excitement was upfront between the God and a Young Pretender, further down the field it was all to play for.
John Hopkins on the Kawasaki was worth watching as was Suzuki’s Chris Vermuelen.. Technical/engine problems sidelined them today. Marco Melandri seemed to have found a way to ride his bike. He has hated it til now but it’s working.
10 laps to go, and with no win yet this year for my hero, Valentino Rossi, I was getting nervous. Pedrosa was following every move Valle made and he is scary this year because he seems to have learned to ride in a different style. He uses his body-weight differently this year. He stalked Valle, following the Italian’s every move. Thanks be, he couldn’t overcome.
We closed down the last laps, Valle is back where we all know he should be – at the top of the podium. Lorenzo – the new Valle – rode through huge pain to score damn good points.
This was the best race of the year so far, and it’s an utter pig that I couldn’t watch it live due to a commitment to drive to Aberdeen this morning. I had to watch on BBC iPlayer.
I didn’t even get a thank you for missing the race live and spending four hours driving to Aberdeen and back.
Thank f*** for iPlayer. If all I’d had was the result of the race, it would have been hugely disappointing.
As is it, I watched the race and had my mouth in my heart for the last few laps, just hoping that Valle would hang on. . Now as the evening happens I have my mouth in my heart again for Ronnie. I so so want him to win.
In football, I have no heroes to hang on to. My team is out. So bless the rest. For me. Ronnie in the Snooker, and a long season, but please let Rossi win again.
As qualifying got underway, the man at the head of the table was Jorge Lorenzo – Spanish rookie in GP but World Champ in 250cc. He has been a sensation this season so far but came down to earth in a flying way with a mega crash on Thursday. Despite that, resulting in a broken ankle, he qualified pretty well. On his 21st birthday he got on the second row.
Colin Edwards took the pole, his third, but Valentino was on the front row. He was looking to slake his drought, but “Chuck It” Casey (last year’s World Champ) was also on the front row. Bit out of sorts this year so far, but so has been Valle.
Little Dani Pedrosa was on the second row, alongside equally little, but a lot older, Loris Capirossi. James “piano” Toseland made up the second row. That was qualifying – in dry conditions but although the race started in the dry, the weather was so uncertain for the race that it was declared a wet race.
Drama started early. On the warm-up lap Lorenzo stalled – would any of us done any better with a broken ankle? I doubt it. This was Jorge’s first GP race starting not on pole position.
Then the race proper got under way. Colin, off pole, was done like a kipper by the Ducati, but got it back. Lorenzo scrapped with Hayden and Toseland and Dani had a real go up the draught and got Rossi.
End of lap two and Pedrosa led Edwards led Rossi.
Then Valle got the slip-stream and took Colin. You couldn’t chuck a blanket over the rest of the bunch. Sparks flying of titanium boots – just like they used to do for us when we chucked a Doc Martens with heels as we sped down the by-pass!
This was a race today, bikes at their utmost, riders too. Bikes leaning to 50% to get the best of a corner. With 18 laps to go, Rossi was a man on a mission. He had the magnets on and breezed past Pedrosa. Silky smooth, under brakes at the end of the straight – Hot damn!
There is no-one, absolutely no-one later on the brakes and braver than Rossi.
While the excitement was upfront between the God and a Young Pretender, further down the field it was all to play for.
John Hopkins on the Kawasaki was worth watching as was Suzuki’s Chris Vermuelen.. Technical/engine problems sidelined them today. Marco Melandri seemed to have found a way to ride his bike. He has hated it til now but it’s working.
10 laps to go, and with no win yet this year for my hero, Valentino Rossi, I was getting nervous. Pedrosa was following every move Valle made and he is scary this year because he seems to have learned to ride in a different style. He uses his body-weight differently this year. He stalked Valle, following the Italian’s every move. Thanks be, he couldn’t overcome.
We closed down the last laps, Valle is back where we all know he should be – at the top of the podium. Lorenzo – the new Valle – rode through huge pain to score damn good points.
This was the best race of the year so far, and it’s an utter pig that I couldn’t watch it live due to a commitment to drive to Aberdeen this morning. I had to watch on BBC iPlayer.
I didn’t even get a thank you for missing the race live and spending four hours driving to Aberdeen and back.
Thank f*** for iPlayer. If all I’d had was the result of the race, it would have been hugely disappointing.
As is it, I watched the race and had my mouth in my heart for the last few laps, just hoping that Valle would hang on. . Now as the evening happens I have my mouth in my heart again for Ronnie. I so so want him to win.
In football, I have no heroes to hang on to. My team is out. So bless the rest. For me. Ronnie in the Snooker, and a long season, but please let Rossi win again.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Draft dodging - the Velvet Bear
I’ve been trying to think of a way to describe exactly what happened on Saturday in words that anyone who wasn’t there can understand. I can’t. There simply is nothing on earth like the NFL Draft (even the NBA Draft is different) and there has never been an NFL Draft like this one.
Going into too much detail about each individual player would be pointless, because at this stage most of the 252 players drafted are merely very good college players and we have no way of knowing if they will make it in the NFL itself. The 252nd player drafted is always referred to in the media as ‘Mr Irrelevant’, which strikes me as a little harsh. Then again, if this year’s holder of the title, a linebacker named David Vorbora, can’t use that to motivate him then he probably doesn’t belong in professional sport.
Everything started very tamely. The Dolphins actually signed their #1 pick, Jake Long, almost a week before the Draft began. The first six picks then fell pretty much as everyone expected. Chris Long went to the Rams at #2, which left Matt Ryan to go to the Falcons at 3, Darren McFadden to the Raiders at 4, then Glenn Dorsey went to the Chiefs and Vernon Gholston to the Jets. So far so good, especially as I picked them as the first six choices last week.
And then all hell let loose. Of the next 25 picks, no fewer than 17 of them were traded between teams. It started tamely enough, with the Patriots and the Saints swapping places at 7 and 10. But then the Jaguars traded up a massive 18 places to make sure of getting the defensive tackle they wanted and the rest of the first round turned into a swapmeet. What is even more surprising is that two teams – the Packers and the Eagles - traded out of the first round altogether. With another two teams not in the first round at all (the Colts and the Browns, who ended up with no picks before round 5), this means that the chaos was being wrought by only a few of the 32 sides.
Biggest winner in the draft was undoubtedly quarterback Joe Flacco. Having traded down by swapping with the Jaguars, the Ravens then traded back up again to get Flacco, who most people rated as a second round choice. In doing so they bypassed two more highly rated QBs in Brian Bohme and Chad Henne. There will be a lot of pressure on Flacco as a result. He comes from a small college who didn’t play in the highest reaches of college football and indeed switched to there from Pittsburgh, where he couldn’t get past the incumbent QB to get a game.
Bohme and Henne did quite well out of this, though. Both went in the second round, with Bohme going to the Packers and Henne to the Dolphins. Bohme won’t start the season, but with Aaron Rogers never having started an NFL game either and Brett Favre retired, anything could happen. Henne, on the other hand, has every chance of starting at a Dolphins side who went through four quarterbacks last season.
Unlike Brady Quinn last year, there were no real losers in the first round. Highly rated offensive tackles Brandon Albert and Jeff Otah both saw themselves passed over for Chris Williams, but this was due to the frankly bizarre way the Bears ran their Draft. It was as if Chicago was determined not to take any player that they had been linked with, or strengthen any position where anyone else thought they had a weakness. Which means it’s Rex Grossman time again this season, I’m afraid.
The only other player to drop down the Draft was running back Rashard Meadenhall. Given that the first round was almost all about linemen rather than any other position, you might think this was a hard trick to pull off. In fact, though, he was the victim of some fancy manoeuvring by the Cowboys. They had two first round choices and used them to take a different running back, Felix Jones, and a cornerback, Mike Jenkins. Earlier in the week, they had signed the notorious Tennessee Titans player Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, who is still suspended by the NFL after being arrested no fewer than 12 times during his first two seasons in the league. That suspension is due for review at some point in the summer. Pacman is a cornerback who is also a brilliant kick returner. Jenkins is, as stated, a cornerback and Felix Jones is also a brilliant kick returner. What the Cowboys have done is to use their first two picks to buy themselves some insurance against Pacman’s suspension not being lifted. I can’t work out if this is brilliant forward thinking or really really dumb – what do they do with the two guys if Pacman is allowed to play? They might have wasted first round money on two players they never use.
The Bengals were also in the insurance game. The bloodyminded stand-off between the club and wide receiver Chad Johnston looks like it could end with the latter not playing at all in 2008, so they used their first two picks in the second round to take wide receivers. (Oddly, no wide receivers were picked at all in the first round, which hasn’t happened since 1990).
If you want an idea of how chaotic the whole thing was, at one point the Jets actually ended up trading with themselves, giving away a lower round spot and then getting it back again in a later trade.
Two names to watch out for – Tom Zbikowski and Jack Ikegwuonu, now at the Chiefs and Eagles respectively. Just because it will be fun watching commentators try and pronounce them.
Going into too much detail about each individual player would be pointless, because at this stage most of the 252 players drafted are merely very good college players and we have no way of knowing if they will make it in the NFL itself. The 252nd player drafted is always referred to in the media as ‘Mr Irrelevant’, which strikes me as a little harsh. Then again, if this year’s holder of the title, a linebacker named David Vorbora, can’t use that to motivate him then he probably doesn’t belong in professional sport.
Everything started very tamely. The Dolphins actually signed their #1 pick, Jake Long, almost a week before the Draft began. The first six picks then fell pretty much as everyone expected. Chris Long went to the Rams at #2, which left Matt Ryan to go to the Falcons at 3, Darren McFadden to the Raiders at 4, then Glenn Dorsey went to the Chiefs and Vernon Gholston to the Jets. So far so good, especially as I picked them as the first six choices last week.
And then all hell let loose. Of the next 25 picks, no fewer than 17 of them were traded between teams. It started tamely enough, with the Patriots and the Saints swapping places at 7 and 10. But then the Jaguars traded up a massive 18 places to make sure of getting the defensive tackle they wanted and the rest of the first round turned into a swapmeet. What is even more surprising is that two teams – the Packers and the Eagles - traded out of the first round altogether. With another two teams not in the first round at all (the Colts and the Browns, who ended up with no picks before round 5), this means that the chaos was being wrought by only a few of the 32 sides.
Biggest winner in the draft was undoubtedly quarterback Joe Flacco. Having traded down by swapping with the Jaguars, the Ravens then traded back up again to get Flacco, who most people rated as a second round choice. In doing so they bypassed two more highly rated QBs in Brian Bohme and Chad Henne. There will be a lot of pressure on Flacco as a result. He comes from a small college who didn’t play in the highest reaches of college football and indeed switched to there from Pittsburgh, where he couldn’t get past the incumbent QB to get a game.
Bohme and Henne did quite well out of this, though. Both went in the second round, with Bohme going to the Packers and Henne to the Dolphins. Bohme won’t start the season, but with Aaron Rogers never having started an NFL game either and Brett Favre retired, anything could happen. Henne, on the other hand, has every chance of starting at a Dolphins side who went through four quarterbacks last season.
Unlike Brady Quinn last year, there were no real losers in the first round. Highly rated offensive tackles Brandon Albert and Jeff Otah both saw themselves passed over for Chris Williams, but this was due to the frankly bizarre way the Bears ran their Draft. It was as if Chicago was determined not to take any player that they had been linked with, or strengthen any position where anyone else thought they had a weakness. Which means it’s Rex Grossman time again this season, I’m afraid.
The only other player to drop down the Draft was running back Rashard Meadenhall. Given that the first round was almost all about linemen rather than any other position, you might think this was a hard trick to pull off. In fact, though, he was the victim of some fancy manoeuvring by the Cowboys. They had two first round choices and used them to take a different running back, Felix Jones, and a cornerback, Mike Jenkins. Earlier in the week, they had signed the notorious Tennessee Titans player Adam ‘Pacman’ Jones, who is still suspended by the NFL after being arrested no fewer than 12 times during his first two seasons in the league. That suspension is due for review at some point in the summer. Pacman is a cornerback who is also a brilliant kick returner. Jenkins is, as stated, a cornerback and Felix Jones is also a brilliant kick returner. What the Cowboys have done is to use their first two picks to buy themselves some insurance against Pacman’s suspension not being lifted. I can’t work out if this is brilliant forward thinking or really really dumb – what do they do with the two guys if Pacman is allowed to play? They might have wasted first round money on two players they never use.
The Bengals were also in the insurance game. The bloodyminded stand-off between the club and wide receiver Chad Johnston looks like it could end with the latter not playing at all in 2008, so they used their first two picks in the second round to take wide receivers. (Oddly, no wide receivers were picked at all in the first round, which hasn’t happened since 1990).
If you want an idea of how chaotic the whole thing was, at one point the Jets actually ended up trading with themselves, giving away a lower round spot and then getting it back again in a later trade.
Two names to watch out for – Tom Zbikowski and Jack Ikegwuonu, now at the Chiefs and Eagles respectively. Just because it will be fun watching commentators try and pronounce them.
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
No point flogging what now? - PremCorrespondent
Well who’d have thought it? The dead horse that was the Premier League three weeks ago has sprung to life and started to charge through the field like a thoroughbred.
At the bottom of the table Fulham and Bolton had seemingly already joined Derby in a division below West Brom for next season. But the Wanderers have risen from the ashes and accidentally dragged a reluctant Fulham with them.
Bolton’s 1-1 draw in front of new Spurs record signing Luka Modric (not from Basingstoke presumably) was among the least remarkable results of the weekend. The home side has long since gone on holiday, or in some cases to Newcastle to prematurely discuss terms.
However, the scrappy goal that earned that point topped an amazing turnaround in form that has seen Bolton jump to 16th.
While that was an unremarkable game, the opposite was true in Manchester where City blew a two goal lead that at one stage seemed set to formally relegate poor Fulham, who eventually won away from home 3-2.
While Roy Hodgson knows his side are still in trouble, he also now knows that one more win could now keep them up. And with a visit by Birmingham City coming up, that win may yet happen.
That Bolton and Fulham do not yet have an R beside their names on the league table is thanks to the utter inadequacy of Birmingham City and Reading.
Both sides have finished the campaign so badly that it is hard to find a redeeming feature in either. Birmingham let slip a 2-0 lead against Liverpool’s reserves while Reading successfully defended a 0-0 position against Wigan. And frankly those two facts sum those sides up better than anything I could add.
Above those sides remain the sadly unlikely now to be relegated Wigan. Their present haul of 37 points is likely to be their final hall after 38 games. But for them that should suffice.
So to the other end of the table where there came a different order of excitement.
Bad refereeing; fists being thrown; stewards being kicked; and racism directed towards players. Stamford Bridge returned to its 80s heritage for the showdown with Manchester United. But unlike the 80s the home side played quite well and won.
Players fought with each other, with officials, with ground staff, and with a guy in a burger stand who looked at them funny while he wiped down his grill. More important than any of that though was that Chelsea went level on points with the former Champions-elect. With just two games to go the Red Devils will probably still claim the title, but it is no longer certain.
And in games now only being staged because of contractual obligations…
Aston Villa failed to loosen Everton’s grip on their well earned Uefa Cup spot as the teams drew 2-2.
Blackburn beat Pompey at home 1-0, finishing off what little chance the south coast side had left of earning a European spot in the league.
West Ham drew 2-2 against Newcastle as Keegan’s side came back from two down and Ljunberg refused to play on with a cracked rib.
And finally it was Arsenal’s turn to whip Derby, recording a 6-2 victory that begs the question how bad will Arsene Wenger let his defence get before studying some old videos and remembering that Tony Adams and Martin Keown were worshiped too?
At the bottom of the table Fulham and Bolton had seemingly already joined Derby in a division below West Brom for next season. But the Wanderers have risen from the ashes and accidentally dragged a reluctant Fulham with them.
Bolton’s 1-1 draw in front of new Spurs record signing Luka Modric (not from Basingstoke presumably) was among the least remarkable results of the weekend. The home side has long since gone on holiday, or in some cases to Newcastle to prematurely discuss terms.
However, the scrappy goal that earned that point topped an amazing turnaround in form that has seen Bolton jump to 16th.
While that was an unremarkable game, the opposite was true in Manchester where City blew a two goal lead that at one stage seemed set to formally relegate poor Fulham, who eventually won away from home 3-2.
While Roy Hodgson knows his side are still in trouble, he also now knows that one more win could now keep them up. And with a visit by Birmingham City coming up, that win may yet happen.
That Bolton and Fulham do not yet have an R beside their names on the league table is thanks to the utter inadequacy of Birmingham City and Reading.
Both sides have finished the campaign so badly that it is hard to find a redeeming feature in either. Birmingham let slip a 2-0 lead against Liverpool’s reserves while Reading successfully defended a 0-0 position against Wigan. And frankly those two facts sum those sides up better than anything I could add.
Above those sides remain the sadly unlikely now to be relegated Wigan. Their present haul of 37 points is likely to be their final hall after 38 games. But for them that should suffice.
So to the other end of the table where there came a different order of excitement.
Bad refereeing; fists being thrown; stewards being kicked; and racism directed towards players. Stamford Bridge returned to its 80s heritage for the showdown with Manchester United. But unlike the 80s the home side played quite well and won.
Players fought with each other, with officials, with ground staff, and with a guy in a burger stand who looked at them funny while he wiped down his grill. More important than any of that though was that Chelsea went level on points with the former Champions-elect. With just two games to go the Red Devils will probably still claim the title, but it is no longer certain.
And in games now only being staged because of contractual obligations…
Aston Villa failed to loosen Everton’s grip on their well earned Uefa Cup spot as the teams drew 2-2.
Blackburn beat Pompey at home 1-0, finishing off what little chance the south coast side had left of earning a European spot in the league.
West Ham drew 2-2 against Newcastle as Keegan’s side came back from two down and Ljunberg refused to play on with a cracked rib.
And finally it was Arsenal’s turn to whip Derby, recording a 6-2 victory that begs the question how bad will Arsene Wenger let his defence get before studying some old videos and remembering that Tony Adams and Martin Keown were worshiped too?
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Just plain Draft – the Velvet Bear
After all the hype, all the hot air, all the column inches, the NFL finally gets down to the 2008 Draft this weekend. As with everything in the NFL, it seems to have taken an awful long time to arrive and there has been an awful lot of speculation about two days of horsetrading where the final outcome is, frankly, anyone’s guess.
The basic premise of the Draft is to ensure that every one of the 32 teams gets a fair crack at signing the best college players available in a given year. The teams are ranked according to their success in the previous season, then pick in reverse order. The logic of this is that the side which did worst in the year just ended will have most need of the best players in the Draft. This year, the Miami Dolphins were the worst team in the league, finishing 1-15 for the season, so they have the first pick in the draft. The New York Giants won the Superbowl, making them the best team (even though the New England Patriots were unbeaten in the regular season) so they have the 32nd pick. Everyone else falls into the places in between.
There are seven rounds of picks. The first two (or three if there is time) will be on Saturday, the rest on Sunday. All of the big attention is on the first two rounds anyway. Each side gets 15 minutes to make their pick in the first round, ten in the second and five in the other rounds. Surprisingly, this isn’t done just to build the drama of the moment. The Draft is about more than just picking players by rota, like in the school playground.
First of all, there is no transfer system for players in the way that we know it. If a player changes teams during the season, no money changes hands. Instead, teams trade by exchanging players, or by offering Draft picks in exchange for them, or by a combination of the two. If you want to 'buy' a big name quarterback, you might have to offer your first and third round Draft picks to the team he is currently with. Alternatively, if you want an unknown running back, you could get him by giving up a fifth round pick or even lower.
This means that, to begin with, teams have an unequal number of picks in any Draft, because some will have traded away picks and some will have acquired them. The prime example in this Draft is the Patriots. They lost their first round pick as a punishment for the ‘Spygate’ affair last season. As losing Superbowl finalists, they would’ve had the 31st pick. However, they had already acquired the San Francisco 49ers’ first round pick in a trade and so take their 7th spot in the Draft. The 49ers themselves will have the 29th pick, because they received that from Indiannapolis Colts following another trade. And the Dallas Cowboys will have two first round picks, their own and the 22nd pick they received from the Cleveland Browns last year in the bartering which led to the Browns taking Brady Quinn in last year’s Draft (of which more later).
Then there is the problem that drafting new players is expensive. Any side's drafts get a signing on payment, plus, if they make the full team, a guaranteed salary of at least $250,000. A first round pick will demand much more than that – last season’s #1 choice, JaMarcus Russell was still haggling over his contract when the season began in September.
Taking all of this into consideration, some teams prefer not to pick high in the Draft, because they will be paying a lot of money for someone they might not really want when, by swapping their high first round pick for a low first and second round pick, they might get two cheaper players who they do want. This particularly appeals to sides who have extensive rebuilding to do, as they can then draft more players for their money. There’s even talk that the Dolphins might do this, because they need so many new staff.
On the other hand, there are sides who might not want to take many players. A strong team may want one or two very good prospects and that is it, so will trade away all of their other picks to move up the draw in the first and second rounds to be sure of getting who they want. This might appeal to a side like the Colts, who are not in the first round but who don’t think they have many weaknesses anyway.
Finally, you have the compensatory picks. These are extra picks awarded to sides who lost more players than they gained during the February free agency period in 2007. The end result of all this being that some teams, such as Atlanta, have no fewer than 11 picks in this Draft. And boy do they need them!
Now that all of the workouts and tests are over, the top five or six picks are pretty much known. One, Chris Long, is the son of a much loved former player, Howie Long, and will probably be the #1 pick. The problem is that there are four linemen in the top six prospects and, ideally, the Dolphins would like them all. They will certainly pick one of Long, Vernon Gholston and Jake Long, but which one depends very much upon which pundit you ask. Only Bill Parcells knows for sure and something tells me that he will only make his mind up at the last moment.
You might notice that that is only three linemen. The fourth, Glenn Dorsey, is recovering from a leg injury and no-one thinks he will go to either Miami or St Louis, who pick second. Atlanta have the third pick and will almost certainly take the first quarterback, Matt Ryan (and will hope for better luck than they have had with certain other quarterbacks). The next two pickers, Oakland Raiders and Kansas City Chiefs, both look set to pick the other two linemen (although the Chiefs will take Ryan if the Falcons go for someone else) leaving the New York Jets to take the first running back in the almost-alliterative Darren McFadden.
Having said all of that, in every year there are surprises. Last year, Brady Quinn was vying for the #1 spot with JaMarcus Russell. Or so everyone thought. Then Quinn plummeted down the rankings and ended up being the 22nd pick. This season, watch out for two other quarterbacks, Chad Henne and Brian Bohm. Both seem to be too lightly rated and Bohm was regarded as a top 10 pick last year – when there were already two other QBs in that top ten – before he decided to go back to college.
Speaking of going back to college, one name missing from the Draft this year is Michael Oher. One of the biggest names in college football and the subject of the best selling book The Blind Side has surprised everyone by deciding to take his final year at college rather than enter the draft. Ole Miss’ gain is the NFL’s loss for this year, but this time next year there will be enough drivel written about him to fill another book.
Finally, a word of warning. Don’t get too excited when someone picks Brandon Flowers. They’ll be getting a cornerback from Virginai Tech, not the lead singer of the Killers. Although, in a year when Billy Crystal has played in MLB, anything is possible!
The basic premise of the Draft is to ensure that every one of the 32 teams gets a fair crack at signing the best college players available in a given year. The teams are ranked according to their success in the previous season, then pick in reverse order. The logic of this is that the side which did worst in the year just ended will have most need of the best players in the Draft. This year, the Miami Dolphins were the worst team in the league, finishing 1-15 for the season, so they have the first pick in the draft. The New York Giants won the Superbowl, making them the best team (even though the New England Patriots were unbeaten in the regular season) so they have the 32nd pick. Everyone else falls into the places in between.
There are seven rounds of picks. The first two (or three if there is time) will be on Saturday, the rest on Sunday. All of the big attention is on the first two rounds anyway. Each side gets 15 minutes to make their pick in the first round, ten in the second and five in the other rounds. Surprisingly, this isn’t done just to build the drama of the moment. The Draft is about more than just picking players by rota, like in the school playground.
First of all, there is no transfer system for players in the way that we know it. If a player changes teams during the season, no money changes hands. Instead, teams trade by exchanging players, or by offering Draft picks in exchange for them, or by a combination of the two. If you want to 'buy' a big name quarterback, you might have to offer your first and third round Draft picks to the team he is currently with. Alternatively, if you want an unknown running back, you could get him by giving up a fifth round pick or even lower.
This means that, to begin with, teams have an unequal number of picks in any Draft, because some will have traded away picks and some will have acquired them. The prime example in this Draft is the Patriots. They lost their first round pick as a punishment for the ‘Spygate’ affair last season. As losing Superbowl finalists, they would’ve had the 31st pick. However, they had already acquired the San Francisco 49ers’ first round pick in a trade and so take their 7th spot in the Draft. The 49ers themselves will have the 29th pick, because they received that from Indiannapolis Colts following another trade. And the Dallas Cowboys will have two first round picks, their own and the 22nd pick they received from the Cleveland Browns last year in the bartering which led to the Browns taking Brady Quinn in last year’s Draft (of which more later).
Then there is the problem that drafting new players is expensive. Any side's drafts get a signing on payment, plus, if they make the full team, a guaranteed salary of at least $250,000. A first round pick will demand much more than that – last season’s #1 choice, JaMarcus Russell was still haggling over his contract when the season began in September.
Taking all of this into consideration, some teams prefer not to pick high in the Draft, because they will be paying a lot of money for someone they might not really want when, by swapping their high first round pick for a low first and second round pick, they might get two cheaper players who they do want. This particularly appeals to sides who have extensive rebuilding to do, as they can then draft more players for their money. There’s even talk that the Dolphins might do this, because they need so many new staff.
On the other hand, there are sides who might not want to take many players. A strong team may want one or two very good prospects and that is it, so will trade away all of their other picks to move up the draw in the first and second rounds to be sure of getting who they want. This might appeal to a side like the Colts, who are not in the first round but who don’t think they have many weaknesses anyway.
Finally, you have the compensatory picks. These are extra picks awarded to sides who lost more players than they gained during the February free agency period in 2007. The end result of all this being that some teams, such as Atlanta, have no fewer than 11 picks in this Draft. And boy do they need them!
Now that all of the workouts and tests are over, the top five or six picks are pretty much known. One, Chris Long, is the son of a much loved former player, Howie Long, and will probably be the #1 pick. The problem is that there are four linemen in the top six prospects and, ideally, the Dolphins would like them all. They will certainly pick one of Long, Vernon Gholston and Jake Long, but which one depends very much upon which pundit you ask. Only Bill Parcells knows for sure and something tells me that he will only make his mind up at the last moment.
You might notice that that is only three linemen. The fourth, Glenn Dorsey, is recovering from a leg injury and no-one thinks he will go to either Miami or St Louis, who pick second. Atlanta have the third pick and will almost certainly take the first quarterback, Matt Ryan (and will hope for better luck than they have had with certain other quarterbacks). The next two pickers, Oakland Raiders and Kansas City Chiefs, both look set to pick the other two linemen (although the Chiefs will take Ryan if the Falcons go for someone else) leaving the New York Jets to take the first running back in the almost-alliterative Darren McFadden.
Having said all of that, in every year there are surprises. Last year, Brady Quinn was vying for the #1 spot with JaMarcus Russell. Or so everyone thought. Then Quinn plummeted down the rankings and ended up being the 22nd pick. This season, watch out for two other quarterbacks, Chad Henne and Brian Bohm. Both seem to be too lightly rated and Bohm was regarded as a top 10 pick last year – when there were already two other QBs in that top ten – before he decided to go back to college.
Speaking of going back to college, one name missing from the Draft this year is Michael Oher. One of the biggest names in college football and the subject of the best selling book The Blind Side has surprised everyone by deciding to take his final year at college rather than enter the draft. Ole Miss’ gain is the NFL’s loss for this year, but this time next year there will be enough drivel written about him to fill another book.
Finally, a word of warning. Don’t get too excited when someone picks Brandon Flowers. They’ll be getting a cornerback from Virginai Tech, not the lead singer of the Killers. Although, in a year when Billy Crystal has played in MLB, anything is possible!
Monday, April 21, 2008
Something in the air - Byebyebadman
Barcelona versus Manchester United is a fixture with the capacity to leave behind a memory that evokes everything that is great about the game of football.
They do not have a rivalry as such; familiarity or proximity are the governing factors there and neither applies in this case, with the teams having met only seven times in a quarter of a century and separated by hundreds of miles of land and sea. Also absent is the whiff of vengeance on either side, the need for a wrong to be righted, for justice to be served. No handled goal, no dodgy referee, no harsh sending off, nothing. Yet the sense of expectation surrounding this fixture is huge.There is some history – when they first met back in 1984 Manchester United managed to overturn a two goal deficit from the first leg when, amidst a cacophonous atmosphere that many Old Trafford veterans consider to be the greatest the old stadium has ever heard, Bryan Robson inspired a three-goal comeback to put United in the Cup Winners cup semi-finals.
In the same competition seven years later the Red Devils emerged victorious again, this time in the final in Rotterdam, and with a delicious irony it was Mark Hughes, returned to United after a poor spell at the Camp Nou in the mid-eighties, who scored the decisive goals.
Which brings us to the modern arena of combat, the Champions League.
If that was an indicator on how much ground they had to make up on the elite of the continent then United learnt quickly in time to face Barcelona in the group stages again in 1998.
A breathtaking three-all draw in Manchester was followed, implausibly, by the teams sharing six goals at the Camp Nou in what was then and remains now the greatest game of club football I have ever seen.
A description or a YouTube montage barely tells the story and it seemed an irrelevance after a match where the wider context disappeared and all that mattered was the immediate moment that both teams earned a solitary point and Barcelona were eliminated. Fittingly, United would return to that glorious cathedral of stadium to lift the trophy six months later.
Follow that as they say, as we wait for the next instalment of a tie that has fired the imaginations of both sets of fans, managers and players.
A healthy and mutual respect characterises the relationship between the clubs, who share many similarities – a belief in a certain style of play, an air of romance and on a wider scale a strong regional identity and civic pride in the cultural contribution of their respective cities. Although United have also contested epic battles with Real Madrid through the decades there could never be a similar communal love-in, perhaps due in part to Madrid’s recent penchant for year-long media campaigns to unsettle and sign the best players at Old Trafford, a situation with which Barcelona would readily sympathise.
They are also cursed by the nagging sense, given their stature, of underachievement on club football’s biggest stage.
United, as their neighbours down the M62 never tire of telling them, lag behind Liverpool in the European Cup count by a score of five to two. Over in Spain the disparity is even greater, with Barcelona’s two European Cups dwarfed by the incredible nine titles picked up by their detested domestic rivals at the Bernabeu.
Both clubs find themselves on the same rung of the European ladder as Inter Milan, Porto and Juventus amongst others so an added frisson to this semi-final is the chance in Moscow to enhance their standing amongst Europe’s elite.
First, to battle. The first leg is at the Camp Nou on Wednesday night and the tie will culminate at Old Trafford six days later. We have no right to expect a classic but I hope somewhere in their consciousness the modern cast of star players hold some awareness of just how special this fixture is and approach the game accordingly.
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
The performance or the stage – Ebren
Being a batsman is a strange occupation. You are a patient accumulator, a defender, but one expected to exert aggression and your will on an ever changing attack.
In an argument between those with willow and those with leather in their hands it was pointed out that the bowlers do the work – they think, vary, change line and length, pace and angles toiling for and forcing breakthroughs. And then Atherton looked up and said "but as a batsman you only have one chance".
The psychology of the men with armoured plating and armed is often baffling, but some aspects are universal to sports. Pressure. Concentration. Performance. Numbers.
Another universal sporting consideration is the stage. A man scoring six goals on his Newcastle debut will never be lauded as highly as one scoring a hat-trick in the FA Cup final.
And so the question remains – how important is the stage and how important the performance? Especially in the case of Mark Ramprakash.
Last season the man who is without a doubt one of the two finest cricketing dancers scored 2,000 first-class runs for the second season in a row.
He did this with an averages of 103.54 and 101.30 – becoming the first man ever to average over 100 in two consecutive English seasons. And there have been a lot of English seasons.
The sheer weight of numbers stack up to make Ramps a contender for one of the greatest batsmen in the world. Going into this season he has scored 30,333 runs in 400 first class matches. In 379 List A games he has banked 12,195 runs. Arguably as impressive is his average of 36.18 and 977 runs in Twenty20. All told, he has 111 centuries, 220 50s (including seven in 34 Twenty20 games) in county cricket.
In short he has excelled at every form of the game – except internationally.
His last Test cap came in Eden Park, at the end of March in 2002. He scored 9 and 2 – both times dismissed by Daryl Tuffy in the form of his life.
In between his 1991 debut against the West Indies (alongside fellow newcomer to the English side Graeme Hick) and his Eden Park finale, Ramps batted 92 innings for the Test side, averaging just 27.32.
12 ducks in 52 Tests spoke far more loudly than his centuries against the West Indies attack of Ambrose and Walsh and Australia's McGrath, Lee and Warne. His ODI career was less glamorous still. Just 18 caps averaging only 26.85 with a solitary half century.
And so – like Hick – Ramps will never be a great. Because in sport the stage matters more than the performance.
But as he lines up against Lancashire tomorrow he is within touching distance of achieving another milestone. Ramps only needs three more First Class centuries before he has 100 of them. And then he will join a list of very few players indeed. So far only 24 batsmen have managed it:
Jack Hobbs, Patsy Hendren, Wally Hammond, Phil Mead, Herbert Sutcliffe, Geoffrey Boycott, Frank Woolley, Graeme Hick, Len Hutton, Graham Gooch, WG Grace, Denis Compton, Tom Graveney, Donald Bradman, Viv Richards, Zaheer Abbas, Andy Sandham, Colin Cowdrey, Tom Hayward, Glenn Turner, John Edrich, Ernest Tyldesley, Les Ames, and Dennis Amiss.
And, probably in a few weeks, Mark Ramprakash. A great county player.
In an argument between those with willow and those with leather in their hands it was pointed out that the bowlers do the work – they think, vary, change line and length, pace and angles toiling for and forcing breakthroughs. And then Atherton looked up and said "but as a batsman you only have one chance".
The psychology of the men with armoured plating and armed is often baffling, but some aspects are universal to sports. Pressure. Concentration. Performance. Numbers.
Another universal sporting consideration is the stage. A man scoring six goals on his Newcastle debut will never be lauded as highly as one scoring a hat-trick in the FA Cup final.
And so the question remains – how important is the stage and how important the performance? Especially in the case of Mark Ramprakash.
Last season the man who is without a doubt one of the two finest cricketing dancers scored 2,000 first-class runs for the second season in a row.
He did this with an averages of 103.54 and 101.30 – becoming the first man ever to average over 100 in two consecutive English seasons. And there have been a lot of English seasons.
The sheer weight of numbers stack up to make Ramps a contender for one of the greatest batsmen in the world. Going into this season he has scored 30,333 runs in 400 first class matches. In 379 List A games he has banked 12,195 runs. Arguably as impressive is his average of 36.18 and 977 runs in Twenty20. All told, he has 111 centuries, 220 50s (including seven in 34 Twenty20 games) in county cricket.
In short he has excelled at every form of the game – except internationally.
His last Test cap came in Eden Park, at the end of March in 2002. He scored 9 and 2 – both times dismissed by Daryl Tuffy in the form of his life.
In between his 1991 debut against the West Indies (alongside fellow newcomer to the English side Graeme Hick) and his Eden Park finale, Ramps batted 92 innings for the Test side, averaging just 27.32.
12 ducks in 52 Tests spoke far more loudly than his centuries against the West Indies attack of Ambrose and Walsh and Australia's McGrath, Lee and Warne. His ODI career was less glamorous still. Just 18 caps averaging only 26.85 with a solitary half century.
And so – like Hick – Ramps will never be a great. Because in sport the stage matters more than the performance.
But as he lines up against Lancashire tomorrow he is within touching distance of achieving another milestone. Ramps only needs three more First Class centuries before he has 100 of them. And then he will join a list of very few players indeed. So far only 24 batsmen have managed it:
Jack Hobbs, Patsy Hendren, Wally Hammond, Phil Mead, Herbert Sutcliffe, Geoffrey Boycott, Frank Woolley, Graeme Hick, Len Hutton, Graham Gooch, WG Grace, Denis Compton, Tom Graveney, Donald Bradman, Viv Richards, Zaheer Abbas, Andy Sandham, Colin Cowdrey, Tom Hayward, Glenn Turner, John Edrich, Ernest Tyldesley, Les Ames, and Dennis Amiss.
And, probably in a few weeks, Mark Ramprakash. A great county player.
Monday, April 14, 2008
Who wants it? PremCorrespondent
The usual British recipe for footballing success calls for a peck of technical skill to be added to a great, boiling stew of passion - and look how far that's got us. The flint-eyed continentals have always preferred a more balanced diet, with pecks of passion spicing up a cassoulet of solid technique. But this is the one time of year when technique can take a back-seat to passion, particularly when a relegation-threatened club comes up against a mid-table stroller.
And so it proved at the Reebok where dead and buried Bolton, suddenly sprung to life to despatch a late-season Curbishleyesque West Ham 1-0 and give themselves a glimmer of hope. Bolton are just a win behind troubled Birmingham City who played their "Get out of Jail Free" card, Mauro Zarate, to scrape a draw against tiring Everton. Whether the club have any more such cards remains to be seen.
Elsewhere on Saturday, Fulham finally remembered how to win away from home (0-2 at shouldn't be can't be bothered yet Reading) and Sunderland risked the wrath of Roy Keane by can't be bothereding their way to a 1-2 defeat to two lucky Manchester City goals. In the games that nobody noticed, Aston Villa walloped Derby County 0-6, Tottenham drew 1-1 with Middlesborough and Kevin Keegan's entertainers drew 0-0 with an FA Cup obsessed Portsmouth.
Small Slam Sunday saw Liverpool and the Kop doze through the first half against Blackburn, before News of the World star Gerrard and New World Star Torres decided to win the game (eventually 3-1).
Then the main course.
After a cagey first half, Adebayor added some punch to Arsenal's pretty football to snatch a handy lead. Only one of the teams on the pitch were populated by players who knew what it takes to win a Premier League, and that soon showed as Ronaldo converted a penalty and tousle-haired Canadian-Englishman, Owen Hargreaves popped up to slot home a free-kick that reminded everyone of another Manchester United midfield fee-kick specialist who keeps a low profile these days. Arsenal's season has collapsed with Arsene blaming referees, rough boys, anyone except the man who could have strengthened his squad and didn't.
Only Chelsea, slogging away under Avram Grant, are left to dispute the title and they blew it at home to Wigan, drawing 1-1, which goes to show just how much use a 100 league game (or whatever it is) unbeaten home run can be.
So that's pretty much that for the Premier League - Manchester United and Arsenal have served up some cordon bleu dishes; the rest have offered bread and butter football most of the time, despite having exotic overseas chefs to call upon. Dullest domestic season in years.
And so it proved at the Reebok where dead and buried Bolton, suddenly sprung to life to despatch a late-season Curbishleyesque West Ham 1-0 and give themselves a glimmer of hope. Bolton are just a win behind troubled Birmingham City who played their "Get out of Jail Free" card, Mauro Zarate, to scrape a draw against tiring Everton. Whether the club have any more such cards remains to be seen.
Elsewhere on Saturday, Fulham finally remembered how to win away from home (0-2 at shouldn't be can't be bothered yet Reading) and Sunderland risked the wrath of Roy Keane by can't be bothereding their way to a 1-2 defeat to two lucky Manchester City goals. In the games that nobody noticed, Aston Villa walloped Derby County 0-6, Tottenham drew 1-1 with Middlesborough and Kevin Keegan's entertainers drew 0-0 with an FA Cup obsessed Portsmouth.
Small Slam Sunday saw Liverpool and the Kop doze through the first half against Blackburn, before News of the World star Gerrard and New World Star Torres decided to win the game (eventually 3-1).
Then the main course.
After a cagey first half, Adebayor added some punch to Arsenal's pretty football to snatch a handy lead. Only one of the teams on the pitch were populated by players who knew what it takes to win a Premier League, and that soon showed as Ronaldo converted a penalty and tousle-haired Canadian-Englishman, Owen Hargreaves popped up to slot home a free-kick that reminded everyone of another Manchester United midfield fee-kick specialist who keeps a low profile these days. Arsenal's season has collapsed with Arsene blaming referees, rough boys, anyone except the man who could have strengthened his squad and didn't.
Only Chelsea, slogging away under Avram Grant, are left to dispute the title and they blew it at home to Wigan, drawing 1-1, which goes to show just how much use a 100 league game (or whatever it is) unbeaten home run can be.
So that's pretty much that for the Premier League - Manchester United and Arsenal have served up some cordon bleu dishes; the rest have offered bread and butter football most of the time, despite having exotic overseas chefs to call upon. Dullest domestic season in years.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
MotoGP: normal service is resumed, or is it? - Mimitig
What a weekend of sport we’ve just been treated too! In Manchester our guys and gals have continued to swim their hearts out – not landing any more golds, but plenty of silvers and bronzes including David Davies’s magnificent swim in the 1500 metres freestyle, which netted a silver and this in what must be the most gruelling of races. Specially when you’re not fit.
Yesterday also brought us the fun of Queen of the South doing the biz against Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup, but very much sshh about that as my entire village supports Eberdeen!
Today we had a vital win for Man U fans over the beautiful game of Arsenal, or perhaps that should be described as a win for pragmatic Fergie over philosopher Arsene. Don’t know enough of that to be a spokesperson, but I did enjoy my team winning. Keeps Liverpool in the hunt, keenly for that fourth spot above Everton.
But mostly today, I was watching the bikes. It hasn’t been a great opening few races – those fly-aways never really tell us much – and we were all waiting keenly for a return to Europe.
The boys were in Estoril, Portugal this weekend. This is a very tricky circuit. On the coast it is subject to weather vagaries and we had plenty of them. Friday was rubbish for riders such as James Toseland who had hoped to use the day to learn the track. It was too wet and cold to be of any use. Saturday qualifying stayed dry, but was all about Jorge Lorenzo.
He is just 20 years-old and already a double World Champion in 250cc bikes, and just destroyed the field. An early lap should have been wrecked by an encounter with Chris Vermuelen, but Gorgeous George still set a pole lap and then nibbled away for the next five minutes to set a pole by over half a second that no-one could get near.
Little Dani Pedrosa and The God Valle also made the front row, but with an uphill battle to face.
Come the race, the first lap was certainly the most exciting of this season, possibly one of the most exciting we’ve seen for a few seasons. The lead changed, and all through the field there were men losing places (Stoner, Toseland), and men gaining places (well Rossi, mainly).
On that first lap, it was all action with the three men we most keenly watch – Rossi, Pedrosa and Lorenzo. After last year you could be forgiven for wanting to keep an eye on Casey Stoner, but this weekend, the Ducati was well off the pace and actually, only Casey could ride it even vaguely competitively. There are big problems with the Desmocedici that it seems only Casey can ride around. We wait to see in later rounds how those problems get sorted – because they will.
Anyway, we were underway and before long it seemed as though proper order had been resumed. Rossi riding like a fiend in difficult conditions with rain spotting the cameras and the visors and no-one quite sure where the non-slippy bits of the track were. It was fun.
Nicky Hayden – a former World Champion – was dragging his Honda round very fast and got into fourth at one point before he lost it.
Rossi’s lead didn’t last for more than half the race – a big discussion to be had there about his choice of Bridgestone tyres – Lorenzo pulled a move on him that the master himself would have been proud of. It was a breath-drawing, brilliant, fair but tough overtake.
Not long after Pedrosa put a move on Valle, but this was different. I may well be biased, but Dani’s overtake was a result of having a better bike at the time, not pure skill. Lorenzo’s move was skill to die for!
When it came to the end, Lorenzo had the win, and the record for being the youngest ever GP rider to finish on the podium three times in a row. Valle retained his record of never not being off the Estoril podium – in nine years, and that includes five wins. Pedroso retains a joint lead of the championship with Lorenzo.
Stoner, despite his bike problems, fought his way back to sixth, and James Toseland, in his third ever outing on a MotoGP bike, on a track he’s never seen before, and coming off the back of serious bronchitis, took seventh to keep a grip on fifth place in the Championship. Which is amazing for a rookie in a satellite team. He is ahead of his far more experienced team-mate – the delightful Colin Edwards – and not so very far behind the factory Yamahas.
James’s performances in the two races prior to Estoril had already led his team to extend his contract for the whole of 2009 – an option they were not obliged to exercise until September this year. They must have a lot of faith in him. We know he is a fine bike rider – you don’t get to be a double-world champion in Superbikes without being a bit special, but to know how much faith Yamaha have in him, well, get your bets in now for a top three finish in 2009.
As far as this year is concerned – it’s wide open. Casey is not going to give in, and he will make that Ducati bike on the Bridgestones into a winner. Rossi never says die, and he wants another championship. Pedrosa is a miserable little sod but he wants to win and maybe if he won the whole thing he might even smile! Lorenzo is a joy and a pleasure – he has moved to London in order to learn to speak English better because he knows that the more he wins, the more the journalists want to talk to him.
Today was the best yet of the season. Normal service was not resumed in that Rossi didn’t win, but it was because the man best able to take over Rossi’s mantle as a full-on entertainer alongside utter skill, has won a race.
Move over Valle – welcome Jorge.
But I still want Valle to win lots and lots this year!!!
Yesterday also brought us the fun of Queen of the South doing the biz against Aberdeen in the Scottish Cup, but very much sshh about that as my entire village supports Eberdeen!
Today we had a vital win for Man U fans over the beautiful game of Arsenal, or perhaps that should be described as a win for pragmatic Fergie over philosopher Arsene. Don’t know enough of that to be a spokesperson, but I did enjoy my team winning. Keeps Liverpool in the hunt, keenly for that fourth spot above Everton.
But mostly today, I was watching the bikes. It hasn’t been a great opening few races – those fly-aways never really tell us much – and we were all waiting keenly for a return to Europe.
The boys were in Estoril, Portugal this weekend. This is a very tricky circuit. On the coast it is subject to weather vagaries and we had plenty of them. Friday was rubbish for riders such as James Toseland who had hoped to use the day to learn the track. It was too wet and cold to be of any use. Saturday qualifying stayed dry, but was all about Jorge Lorenzo.
He is just 20 years-old and already a double World Champion in 250cc bikes, and just destroyed the field. An early lap should have been wrecked by an encounter with Chris Vermuelen, but Gorgeous George still set a pole lap and then nibbled away for the next five minutes to set a pole by over half a second that no-one could get near.
Little Dani Pedrosa and The God Valle also made the front row, but with an uphill battle to face.
Come the race, the first lap was certainly the most exciting of this season, possibly one of the most exciting we’ve seen for a few seasons. The lead changed, and all through the field there were men losing places (Stoner, Toseland), and men gaining places (well Rossi, mainly).
On that first lap, it was all action with the three men we most keenly watch – Rossi, Pedrosa and Lorenzo. After last year you could be forgiven for wanting to keep an eye on Casey Stoner, but this weekend, the Ducati was well off the pace and actually, only Casey could ride it even vaguely competitively. There are big problems with the Desmocedici that it seems only Casey can ride around. We wait to see in later rounds how those problems get sorted – because they will.
Anyway, we were underway and before long it seemed as though proper order had been resumed. Rossi riding like a fiend in difficult conditions with rain spotting the cameras and the visors and no-one quite sure where the non-slippy bits of the track were. It was fun.
Nicky Hayden – a former World Champion – was dragging his Honda round very fast and got into fourth at one point before he lost it.
Rossi’s lead didn’t last for more than half the race – a big discussion to be had there about his choice of Bridgestone tyres – Lorenzo pulled a move on him that the master himself would have been proud of. It was a breath-drawing, brilliant, fair but tough overtake.
Not long after Pedrosa put a move on Valle, but this was different. I may well be biased, but Dani’s overtake was a result of having a better bike at the time, not pure skill. Lorenzo’s move was skill to die for!
When it came to the end, Lorenzo had the win, and the record for being the youngest ever GP rider to finish on the podium three times in a row. Valle retained his record of never not being off the Estoril podium – in nine years, and that includes five wins. Pedroso retains a joint lead of the championship with Lorenzo.
Stoner, despite his bike problems, fought his way back to sixth, and James Toseland, in his third ever outing on a MotoGP bike, on a track he’s never seen before, and coming off the back of serious bronchitis, took seventh to keep a grip on fifth place in the Championship. Which is amazing for a rookie in a satellite team. He is ahead of his far more experienced team-mate – the delightful Colin Edwards – and not so very far behind the factory Yamahas.
James’s performances in the two races prior to Estoril had already led his team to extend his contract for the whole of 2009 – an option they were not obliged to exercise until September this year. They must have a lot of faith in him. We know he is a fine bike rider – you don’t get to be a double-world champion in Superbikes without being a bit special, but to know how much faith Yamaha have in him, well, get your bets in now for a top three finish in 2009.
As far as this year is concerned – it’s wide open. Casey is not going to give in, and he will make that Ducati bike on the Bridgestones into a winner. Rossi never says die, and he wants another championship. Pedrosa is a miserable little sod but he wants to win and maybe if he won the whole thing he might even smile! Lorenzo is a joy and a pleasure – he has moved to London in order to learn to speak English better because he knows that the more he wins, the more the journalists want to talk to him.
Today was the best yet of the season. Normal service was not resumed in that Rossi didn’t win, but it was because the man best able to take over Rossi’s mantle as a full-on entertainer alongside utter skill, has won a race.
Move over Valle – welcome Jorge.
But I still want Valle to win lots and lots this year!!!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Everyone likes to swim, don’t they? - Mimitig
When I did my review of 2007 I didn’t mention the GB Swimming team at all – and that’s not so surprising because at the end of last year it seemed that we might have a slight crisis on our hands. Aussie Bill Sweetenham who had been employed at great expense by GB Swimming had not returned the results that we wanted at various championships and had caused much dissent amongst the swimmers. Several, including Mark Foster had “retired” in protest.
However since Mr Bill’s departure (did he go or was he pushed?), the GB Team has gone from strength to strength and I feel it is time to draw some success to the attention of the denizens of Pseuds.
As I write, the temporary short course pool in Manchester is hosting The World Short Course Championships and Great Britain lie second only to the US of A. They have won the most medals overall, but of course it’s golds that count. We are not beating the Yanks, but surprisingly, we are beating the Aussies. Perhaps Bill’s regime is now paying dividends. Almost every swimmer is clocking personal bests even when they are not winning medals. It is a performance to be savoured and enjoyed. And, we are told by the experts, that this is exactly the right time, pre-Olympics, to be turning in life-time bests.
It might be something about Manchester. In last month’s Track Cycling World Champs, Team GB swept the board and laid down some very serious markers for Beijing. Star performers included Chris “The Real McHoy” Hoy; Bradley “I have the hair and will use it” Wiggins and Victoria “I’m lovely and am quite prepared to pose naked for Observer Sports Monthly” Pendleton. All got double golds and everyone else did their bit too.
Jamie Staff – won his medal then spent an awful lot of time with Hazel from the BBC – told us that the velodrome had been resurfaced and so when you crash now, you don’t have to worry about 10 inch splinters up your thigh – a fate that has befallen him before now. Perhaps this lack of injury fear helped our boys and girls. I think it helped Brad and Our Cav (Mark Cavendish) in their spectacular performance in the Madison. This is the most difficult to understand and dangerous of the track cycle races. Involving teams from 10 or so countries, two men have to complete what seem like endless circuits, switching lead man from one to another at high speeds and avoid all crashes. Cav and Brad at one point were at least one lap down, but they read it well, timed their attacks perfectly and won.
Job done.
And as we return now to Manchester, and the strains of the Verve’s Bittersweet Melody keep ringing out almost as often as that dull old God Save the Queen, it seems that our GB swimmers have decided to carry the mantle of our winning cyclists and go out there and bloody well win a few races.
There are still a couple of days to go in this World Championship Short Course Swimming thing, but anyone who has watched the likes of Liam Tancock, Kirsty Balfour, Becky Adlington, Kate Haywood and of course the old man of the sport, Mark Foster – 37 years-old and just won a silver medal – well, it stirs the spirit. It is easy to get a bit carried away now and think that perhaps we’ll win some medals in non-sitting down sports this summer.
Of course just now, all the talk pre-Olympics, is to do with the progress of The Torch. London, Paris and San Francisco have allowed demonstrations to take as many headlines as the progress of the torch. Politicos of all colour are spouting the usual rubbish about the Olympics being non-political. We know that sport and politics have been intertwined for most of our lives if not before – I can’t be the only Pseud to remember cricket grounds being sabotaged in the name of anti-apartheid protest.
I’m not sure what to think about the bigger picture, but right now, I think it’s about time we celebrated a very very big chunk of success for our swimmers. Tonight I think we finish with about 11 medals. Two more days to go.
However since Mr Bill’s departure (did he go or was he pushed?), the GB Team has gone from strength to strength and I feel it is time to draw some success to the attention of the denizens of Pseuds.
As I write, the temporary short course pool in Manchester is hosting The World Short Course Championships and Great Britain lie second only to the US of A. They have won the most medals overall, but of course it’s golds that count. We are not beating the Yanks, but surprisingly, we are beating the Aussies. Perhaps Bill’s regime is now paying dividends. Almost every swimmer is clocking personal bests even when they are not winning medals. It is a performance to be savoured and enjoyed. And, we are told by the experts, that this is exactly the right time, pre-Olympics, to be turning in life-time bests.
It might be something about Manchester. In last month’s Track Cycling World Champs, Team GB swept the board and laid down some very serious markers for Beijing. Star performers included Chris “The Real McHoy” Hoy; Bradley “I have the hair and will use it” Wiggins and Victoria “I’m lovely and am quite prepared to pose naked for Observer Sports Monthly” Pendleton. All got double golds and everyone else did their bit too.
Jamie Staff – won his medal then spent an awful lot of time with Hazel from the BBC – told us that the velodrome had been resurfaced and so when you crash now, you don’t have to worry about 10 inch splinters up your thigh – a fate that has befallen him before now. Perhaps this lack of injury fear helped our boys and girls. I think it helped Brad and Our Cav (Mark Cavendish) in their spectacular performance in the Madison. This is the most difficult to understand and dangerous of the track cycle races. Involving teams from 10 or so countries, two men have to complete what seem like endless circuits, switching lead man from one to another at high speeds and avoid all crashes. Cav and Brad at one point were at least one lap down, but they read it well, timed their attacks perfectly and won.
Job done.
And as we return now to Manchester, and the strains of the Verve’s Bittersweet Melody keep ringing out almost as often as that dull old God Save the Queen, it seems that our GB swimmers have decided to carry the mantle of our winning cyclists and go out there and bloody well win a few races.
There are still a couple of days to go in this World Championship Short Course Swimming thing, but anyone who has watched the likes of Liam Tancock, Kirsty Balfour, Becky Adlington, Kate Haywood and of course the old man of the sport, Mark Foster – 37 years-old and just won a silver medal – well, it stirs the spirit. It is easy to get a bit carried away now and think that perhaps we’ll win some medals in non-sitting down sports this summer.
Of course just now, all the talk pre-Olympics, is to do with the progress of The Torch. London, Paris and San Francisco have allowed demonstrations to take as many headlines as the progress of the torch. Politicos of all colour are spouting the usual rubbish about the Olympics being non-political. We know that sport and politics have been intertwined for most of our lives if not before – I can’t be the only Pseud to remember cricket grounds being sabotaged in the name of anti-apartheid protest.
I’m not sure what to think about the bigger picture, but right now, I think it’s about time we celebrated a very very big chunk of success for our swimmers. Tonight I think we finish with about 11 medals. Two more days to go.
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Who is that driving away from Craven Cottage? – PremCorrespondent
A white Fiat, Bob Hoskins, and a bloke who once had breakfast in the same café as Prince Philip but claims he never met him. All these and more have been blamed for Fulham’s relegation this season.
Their insane owner and put upon manager declared the Premier League a terrible conspiracy and called for an inquest into the ludicrous claims of an idiot minority that they are not yet relegated.
However, the Metropolitan Police said that the points had in fact been taken perfectly legitimately by an Irish maniac who frightens his own team, and who was last seen driving a happy Sunderland towards mid-table obscurity.
The Police also made a statement on recent claims that Derby were not really dead, and had been spotted on a trailer park near Memphis. The reports were quickly refuted, the police said, when the side was exhumed and beaten 1-0 by a tired and bored Everton side looking forward to another few European games next season.
And completing the book of the damned, Bolton showed clubs the terror that could result if they lose the only good manager likely to take their helm for the next fifty years. Quick action by brave locals ensured that only a handful of innocent trotters were hurt by the 4-0 terror attack at Aston Villa, who hinted afterwards that the Irish might have been to blame.
Higher up the table, Sir Alex Fergusson threw away two easy points just so people pay attention while he wins another title. The Italian Mafia are being investigated following claims that they fixed the match that saw Man U. slip to comfortably top. The club responded that they were rested on the pretence that a midweek Champion’s League walkover of a home leg mattered more than Boro.
And by comfortably ahead, I do of course mean ahead of Avram Grant’s Blue Army. Dissent in the ranks has seemingly ceased during his run of recent victories. And reports that high profile failures in big games were used as a distraction while the club secretly funnelled enriched resources into a title bid were strongly denied.
That said, a 2-0 win over Manchester City did a disservice to the lighter shade of blue, who deserved a six nil hammering for such an inept display. They looked like a team that has won just one in their last sixteen, and frankly you have to question how the one came about.
Arsene Wenger doesn’t seem to understand conspiracy. He kidded no one anywhere when he told the lie that his side could still win the league after a 1-1 draw against Liverpool’s reserves. However, the interweb is awash with taxi drivers who drove Rafa home only to be told he’d made a bundle with some Malaysian’s by repeating the Champion’s League first leg result.
Elsewhere
West Ham lost to Portsmouth who strenuously denied both that their manager was in any way dodgy, or that their FA Cup Final place was thanks to tediously dull football.
And Newcastle beat Reading while Spurs drew with Blackburn in games I don’t have time to write about because two men in sunglasses and raincoats have just knocked at my door.
Their insane owner and put upon manager declared the Premier League a terrible conspiracy and called for an inquest into the ludicrous claims of an idiot minority that they are not yet relegated.
However, the Metropolitan Police said that the points had in fact been taken perfectly legitimately by an Irish maniac who frightens his own team, and who was last seen driving a happy Sunderland towards mid-table obscurity.
The Police also made a statement on recent claims that Derby were not really dead, and had been spotted on a trailer park near Memphis. The reports were quickly refuted, the police said, when the side was exhumed and beaten 1-0 by a tired and bored Everton side looking forward to another few European games next season.
And completing the book of the damned, Bolton showed clubs the terror that could result if they lose the only good manager likely to take their helm for the next fifty years. Quick action by brave locals ensured that only a handful of innocent trotters were hurt by the 4-0 terror attack at Aston Villa, who hinted afterwards that the Irish might have been to blame.
Higher up the table, Sir Alex Fergusson threw away two easy points just so people pay attention while he wins another title. The Italian Mafia are being investigated following claims that they fixed the match that saw Man U. slip to comfortably top. The club responded that they were rested on the pretence that a midweek Champion’s League walkover of a home leg mattered more than Boro.
And by comfortably ahead, I do of course mean ahead of Avram Grant’s Blue Army. Dissent in the ranks has seemingly ceased during his run of recent victories. And reports that high profile failures in big games were used as a distraction while the club secretly funnelled enriched resources into a title bid were strongly denied.
That said, a 2-0 win over Manchester City did a disservice to the lighter shade of blue, who deserved a six nil hammering for such an inept display. They looked like a team that has won just one in their last sixteen, and frankly you have to question how the one came about.
Arsene Wenger doesn’t seem to understand conspiracy. He kidded no one anywhere when he told the lie that his side could still win the league after a 1-1 draw against Liverpool’s reserves. However, the interweb is awash with taxi drivers who drove Rafa home only to be told he’d made a bundle with some Malaysian’s by repeating the Champion’s League first leg result.
Elsewhere
West Ham lost to Portsmouth who strenuously denied both that their manager was in any way dodgy, or that their FA Cup Final place was thanks to tediously dull football.
And Newcastle beat Reading while Spurs drew with Blackburn in games I don’t have time to write about because two men in sunglasses and raincoats have just knocked at my door.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
A long draft of NFL - the Velvet Bear
If it is April, it means it is Draft time in the NFL. For the uninitiated, each year the 32 NFL teams get to pick from the cream of the nation’s college footballers over the course of a long and at times tedious weekend in April. They then commit themselves to paying vast sums of money to young men who might never be good enough to play in the NFL. Let’s face it, when you have a 7 month close season, you have to keep people interested somehow.
You’d be wrong to think that this one weekend was the be all and end all of it. Oh no. Draft season began just three weeks after the Superbowl, with the Scouting Combine. You’ve seen those films of army conscripts doing physical exercises back in the 1950s? Believe me, it lives on at the Combine.
Up to 350 of potential Draftees are invited to work out in front of NFL scouts, coaches, managers, owners, journalists and anyone else who takes a prurient interest in sweaty young men. They are timed over a 40-yard run, perform bench presses and standing jumps and then display the skills relevant to their particular position. And they do interview after interview after interview.
The Combine itself rarely resolves anything. It comes right at the end of the college season, so some of the top players will have minor injuries, some will decide to only do part of the event and save themselves for March’s stage of the circus (see below) and some will perform so far above or below expectations that those watching them will be confused rather than enlightened. It might serve to weed out the terminally dim ones – such as the player this year who had to skip virtually everything because he’d had laser eye surgery too soon before the event – but that is about it.
After the rampant homoeroticism of the Combine, the next stage is the College work out. This is when those players attracting enough interest hold a day at their own college to show off their talents, working with their regular teammates. This is probably the best chance some of the students, particularly the quarterbacks, will get to show what they can do. At least one quarterback shot up the rankings this year as a result of his college day.
Finally, a select few, those who are likely to go in the first ten or so picks come Draft day, will have been invited to try out for various teams behind closed doors. Which is the closest that the whole crazy circus gets to anything which happens in the UK version of the game.
Next time, I’ll explain how the Draft works and maybe even name some names.
In other news, the Patriots shocked everyone by apologising for Spygate. Or, at least, apologising for bringing it upon the heads of the NFL. They didn’t, of course, admit to doing anything very wrong. In fact, whilst owner Robert Kraft threw himself at the mercy of his fellow owners, Bill Belichick was still claiming it was simply a case of him misinterpreting the rules. Which makes Bill Clinton’s denials sound positively believable.
This all happened at the NFL’s annual owners and coaches meeting. Also on the table was a proposal by the Kansas City Chiefs to ban players from having hair so long that it obscured the name and number on their jersey.
This got put off for a decision at another meeting next month, by which time someone will hopefully have taken a grip of themselves and realised what a trivial, pointless thing this is to get worked up over.
In three decades of watching this sport I have yet to see a player injured by an opponent’s hair. I have, on the other hand, seen plenty get flattened by the likes of Troy Polamalu. Personally, I reckon that the flying barnet must make him more visible. Why anyone would want to change that is beyond me.
You’d be wrong to think that this one weekend was the be all and end all of it. Oh no. Draft season began just three weeks after the Superbowl, with the Scouting Combine. You’ve seen those films of army conscripts doing physical exercises back in the 1950s? Believe me, it lives on at the Combine.
Up to 350 of potential Draftees are invited to work out in front of NFL scouts, coaches, managers, owners, journalists and anyone else who takes a prurient interest in sweaty young men. They are timed over a 40-yard run, perform bench presses and standing jumps and then display the skills relevant to their particular position. And they do interview after interview after interview.
The Combine itself rarely resolves anything. It comes right at the end of the college season, so some of the top players will have minor injuries, some will decide to only do part of the event and save themselves for March’s stage of the circus (see below) and some will perform so far above or below expectations that those watching them will be confused rather than enlightened. It might serve to weed out the terminally dim ones – such as the player this year who had to skip virtually everything because he’d had laser eye surgery too soon before the event – but that is about it.
After the rampant homoeroticism of the Combine, the next stage is the College work out. This is when those players attracting enough interest hold a day at their own college to show off their talents, working with their regular teammates. This is probably the best chance some of the students, particularly the quarterbacks, will get to show what they can do. At least one quarterback shot up the rankings this year as a result of his college day.
Finally, a select few, those who are likely to go in the first ten or so picks come Draft day, will have been invited to try out for various teams behind closed doors. Which is the closest that the whole crazy circus gets to anything which happens in the UK version of the game.
Next time, I’ll explain how the Draft works and maybe even name some names.
In other news, the Patriots shocked everyone by apologising for Spygate. Or, at least, apologising for bringing it upon the heads of the NFL. They didn’t, of course, admit to doing anything very wrong. In fact, whilst owner Robert Kraft threw himself at the mercy of his fellow owners, Bill Belichick was still claiming it was simply a case of him misinterpreting the rules. Which makes Bill Clinton’s denials sound positively believable.
This all happened at the NFL’s annual owners and coaches meeting. Also on the table was a proposal by the Kansas City Chiefs to ban players from having hair so long that it obscured the name and number on their jersey.
This got put off for a decision at another meeting next month, by which time someone will hopefully have taken a grip of themselves and realised what a trivial, pointless thing this is to get worked up over.
In three decades of watching this sport I have yet to see a player injured by an opponent’s hair. I have, on the other hand, seen plenty get flattened by the likes of Troy Polamalu. Personally, I reckon that the flying barnet must make him more visible. Why anyone would want to change that is beyond me.
Monday, April 7, 2008
The FA Cup's upsetting final – Ebren
Harry Redknapp – the nicest man in football – has finally made it to a final. And he's done it with former Championship strugglers Pompey. His CV currently includes no wins of any note (no, the Johnstone's Paint Trophy or whatever it was called back then doesn't count).
And we should be happy. We really should. But I'm not.
Because he didn't beat Chelsea or Liverpool to get there. Barnsley did that. He didn't beat Arsenal – that was Man U. He beat Man U in a travesty of a result. That might be applauded. And if he had beaten premier league opposition in the semi I would be happy.
But he didn't.
For all the glamour of the cup – and the frequency and impressiveness of the upsets – money won both semi finals.
Portsmouth are not a true plucky little club made good (for that read Wigan – or in the past Wimbledon or Southampton who have all made finals in the last 20 years). They have been funded to their success by Milan Mandric and Alexandre Gaydamark.
They are not an example of English success (nine Englishmen in a first-team squad of 35 – and one of those is cup-tied). Including Brits and those out on loan this number increases to 11. West Brom have 16. And while they aspire to playing "good" football, their success this weekend was based on two clean sheets.
Their win represents a triumph for a club chasing Europe – with internationals from eight countries on display – over one chasing a place in the Premier League based on money brought in by local support. It was a won by a goal created by a handball from the former top-scorer in the European Championships and European Cup winner and scored by a Nigerian who has won the FA Cup, the Premier League, and the European Cup. (Kanu has, to be fair, also been relegated and is about 50).
Their manager is a proper east London bloke – Happy Go Lucky Harry. Styled in the Terry Venables mould. And, no, that's not necessarily a good thing.
And that's not looking at Cardiff.
Cardiff aren't English. They left their home league chasing money and "better competition". They beat the people that did the hard work for them (Chelsea and Liverpool knocked out). They are owned by Peter Risedale (who it's nice to see re-employed Stephen McFail after his Leeds days) and have – amongst others – Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbank, Trevor Sinclair and Robbie Fowler in their squad. Barnsley slipped into the relegation zone this weekend, while Cardiff are safe and arguably pushing for a play-off spot.
Cardiff are less odious than Pompey – but still. After a FA Cup of shocks and revelations, the semi-finals were upsetting in an entirely different way.
And we should be happy. We really should. But I'm not.
Because he didn't beat Chelsea or Liverpool to get there. Barnsley did that. He didn't beat Arsenal – that was Man U. He beat Man U in a travesty of a result. That might be applauded. And if he had beaten premier league opposition in the semi I would be happy.
But he didn't.
For all the glamour of the cup – and the frequency and impressiveness of the upsets – money won both semi finals.
Portsmouth are not a true plucky little club made good (for that read Wigan – or in the past Wimbledon or Southampton who have all made finals in the last 20 years). They have been funded to their success by Milan Mandric and Alexandre Gaydamark.
They are not an example of English success (nine Englishmen in a first-team squad of 35 – and one of those is cup-tied). Including Brits and those out on loan this number increases to 11. West Brom have 16. And while they aspire to playing "good" football, their success this weekend was based on two clean sheets.
Their win represents a triumph for a club chasing Europe – with internationals from eight countries on display – over one chasing a place in the Premier League based on money brought in by local support. It was a won by a goal created by a handball from the former top-scorer in the European Championships and European Cup winner and scored by a Nigerian who has won the FA Cup, the Premier League, and the European Cup. (Kanu has, to be fair, also been relegated and is about 50).
Their manager is a proper east London bloke – Happy Go Lucky Harry. Styled in the Terry Venables mould. And, no, that's not necessarily a good thing.
And that's not looking at Cardiff.
Cardiff aren't English. They left their home league chasing money and "better competition". They beat the people that did the hard work for them (Chelsea and Liverpool knocked out). They are owned by Peter Risedale (who it's nice to see re-employed Stephen McFail after his Leeds days) and have – amongst others – Jimmy-Floyd Hasselbank, Trevor Sinclair and Robbie Fowler in their squad. Barnsley slipped into the relegation zone this weekend, while Cardiff are safe and arguably pushing for a play-off spot.
Cardiff are less odious than Pompey – but still. After a FA Cup of shocks and revelations, the semi-finals were upsetting in an entirely different way.
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
PremCorrespondent – That’s the league done and dusted then
With the title unofficially won, the apparent highlight of this weekend seemed to be the latest instalment of a Merseyside Derby that doesn’t include Tranmere Rovers.
With a place in the doubly misnamed Champions League at stake there was more to play for than local pride. And as usual Liverpool won. Everton have done so just twice this century, neither time at Anfield. And that is unlikely to change if they keep trying to win 0-0, with a back up plan of holding out for a 1-0 defeat when Liverpool take the lead.
The result means Liverpool will now finish fourth, a fantastic reward for bringing Fernando Torres to the Premier League. The guy is a natural born winner and surely won’t be satisfied with playing the part plucky lesser neighbour to Manchester United as he previously did to Real Madrid.
So with the title settled last week, and the European places decided this week thanks to Everton looking set for fifth spot, we must look to the bottom of the league for further excitement.
Derby became the first team since Wolverhampton Wanderers in 1984 to be relegated in March. And if I’m honest I was a bit drunk that year so they may in fact have gone down as late as the 43rd of that third month.
Still, even that now retired team could surely have done better than Fulham this weekend. The 2-2 result offered all the excitement that comes from rubbish defending. And while it hammered the last nail into Derby’s coffin, it also put the deposit down on Fulham’s six-cylinder Hurse.
Completing the relegation trio are Bolton Wanderers. Two-nil and a man up against an Arsenal side with only pride to play for after failing to win in weeks, and they blew their chance of a status saving win by falling apart under minimal pressure.
Of course we shouldn’t write Bolton off - even as they languish several points adrift. Not because they don’t deserve it. They do. They are woefully inadequate and will be no great loss to top flight football. But I’m not willing to let go of the dream that others may yet join them.
And so to Wigan.
A poor penalty and their overwhelming inferiority to a Defoe inspired Pompey ensured they lost 2-0. And despite signing Bramble to make themselves one of the worst sides of this century, they sit comfortably safe above the drop zone.
Their manager Steve Bruce suggested that 35 points might be enough to keep his side up after the defeat. Sadly I fear he is right.
And thus Birmingham City seem set to survive as well. Their surprisingly impressive 3-1 win over Sven’s Manchester City came despite Franck Queudrue's first half sending off. And it put enough water between them and the Wanderers to breath easily for at least three weeks.
Elsewhere in games that no longer mattered…
Chelsea took the chance to experiment now that their league campaign is over. They tried an already tried and tested combination of boredom and luck to successfully beat Boro 1-0 at home. Sadly for the North East team, the woodwork was Chelsea’s best defender, saving the blues three times and drawing speculation that Keegan may bid £6million in the summer.
Speaking of Newcastle, they experimented with not being rubbish and actually winning a game. The last time they won two in a row was in 2007 when they beat Fulham followed by Spurs. They repeated that trick with a 4-1 win over Tottenham, who were themselves experimenting with trying not to get hurt ahead of the summer holidays.
West Ham tested their fans with the tactic of letting the home side beat them with a 95th minute stunner that Sunderland were pleased to claim during their end of season warm down.
Blackburn took their foot off the pedal too, only earning five yellow cards in an otherwise meaningless game against Reading that ended 0-0 and that few people even noticed.
And finally the new champions experimented yet again with battering opponents into stunned submission with such fast flowing, talented and powerful attacking play that Villa fans could only marvel at how this side might end up with just the title to celebrate this season.
With a place in the doubly misnamed Champions League at stake there was more to play for than local pride. And as usual Liverpool won. Everton have done so just twice this century, neither time at Anfield. And that is unlikely to change if they keep trying to win 0-0, with a back up plan of holding out for a 1-0 defeat when Liverpool take the lead.
The result means Liverpool will now finish fourth, a fantastic reward for bringing Fernando Torres to the Premier League. The guy is a natural born winner and surely won’t be satisfied with playing the part plucky lesser neighbour to Manchester United as he previously did to Real Madrid.
So with the title settled last week, and the European places decided this week thanks to Everton looking set for fifth spot, we must look to the bottom of the league for further excitement.
Derby became the first team since Wolverhampton Wanderers in 1984 to be relegated in March. And if I’m honest I was a bit drunk that year so they may in fact have gone down as late as the 43rd of that third month.
Still, even that now retired team could surely have done better than Fulham this weekend. The 2-2 result offered all the excitement that comes from rubbish defending. And while it hammered the last nail into Derby’s coffin, it also put the deposit down on Fulham’s six-cylinder Hurse.
Completing the relegation trio are Bolton Wanderers. Two-nil and a man up against an Arsenal side with only pride to play for after failing to win in weeks, and they blew their chance of a status saving win by falling apart under minimal pressure.
Of course we shouldn’t write Bolton off - even as they languish several points adrift. Not because they don’t deserve it. They do. They are woefully inadequate and will be no great loss to top flight football. But I’m not willing to let go of the dream that others may yet join them.
And so to Wigan.
A poor penalty and their overwhelming inferiority to a Defoe inspired Pompey ensured they lost 2-0. And despite signing Bramble to make themselves one of the worst sides of this century, they sit comfortably safe above the drop zone.
Their manager Steve Bruce suggested that 35 points might be enough to keep his side up after the defeat. Sadly I fear he is right.
And thus Birmingham City seem set to survive as well. Their surprisingly impressive 3-1 win over Sven’s Manchester City came despite Franck Queudrue's first half sending off. And it put enough water between them and the Wanderers to breath easily for at least three weeks.
Elsewhere in games that no longer mattered…
Chelsea took the chance to experiment now that their league campaign is over. They tried an already tried and tested combination of boredom and luck to successfully beat Boro 1-0 at home. Sadly for the North East team, the woodwork was Chelsea’s best defender, saving the blues three times and drawing speculation that Keegan may bid £6million in the summer.
Speaking of Newcastle, they experimented with not being rubbish and actually winning a game. The last time they won two in a row was in 2007 when they beat Fulham followed by Spurs. They repeated that trick with a 4-1 win over Tottenham, who were themselves experimenting with trying not to get hurt ahead of the summer holidays.
West Ham tested their fans with the tactic of letting the home side beat them with a 95th minute stunner that Sunderland were pleased to claim during their end of season warm down.
Blackburn took their foot off the pedal too, only earning five yellow cards in an otherwise meaningless game against Reading that ended 0-0 and that few people even noticed.
And finally the new champions experimented yet again with battering opponents into stunned submission with such fast flowing, talented and powerful attacking play that Villa fans could only marvel at how this side might end up with just the title to celebrate this season.
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