The usual British recipe for footballing success calls for a peck of technical skill to be added to a great, boiling stew of passion - and look how far that's got us. The flint-eyed continentals have always preferred a more balanced diet, with pecks of passion spicing up a cassoulet of solid technique. But this is the one time of year when technique can take a back-seat to passion, particularly when a relegation-threatened club comes up against a mid-table stroller.
And so it proved at the Reebok where dead and buried Bolton, suddenly sprung to life to despatch a late-season Curbishleyesque West Ham 1-0 and give themselves a glimmer of hope. Bolton are just a win behind troubled Birmingham City who played their "Get out of Jail Free" card, Mauro Zarate, to scrape a draw against tiring Everton. Whether the club have any more such cards remains to be seen.
Elsewhere on Saturday, Fulham finally remembered how to win away from home (0-2 at shouldn't be can't be bothered yet Reading) and Sunderland risked the wrath of Roy Keane by can't be bothereding their way to a 1-2 defeat to two lucky Manchester City goals. In the games that nobody noticed, Aston Villa walloped Derby County 0-6, Tottenham drew 1-1 with Middlesborough and Kevin Keegan's entertainers drew 0-0 with an FA Cup obsessed Portsmouth.
Small Slam Sunday saw Liverpool and the Kop doze through the first half against Blackburn, before News of the World star Gerrard and New World Star Torres decided to win the game (eventually 3-1).
Then the main course.
After a cagey first half, Adebayor added some punch to Arsenal's pretty football to snatch a handy lead. Only one of the teams on the pitch were populated by players who knew what it takes to win a Premier League, and that soon showed as Ronaldo converted a penalty and tousle-haired Canadian-Englishman, Owen Hargreaves popped up to slot home a free-kick that reminded everyone of another Manchester United midfield fee-kick specialist who keeps a low profile these days. Arsenal's season has collapsed with Arsene blaming referees, rough boys, anyone except the man who could have strengthened his squad and didn't.
Only Chelsea, slogging away under Avram Grant, are left to dispute the title and they blew it at home to Wigan, drawing 1-1, which goes to show just how much use a 100 league game (or whatever it is) unbeaten home run can be.
So that's pretty much that for the Premier League - Manchester United and Arsenal have served up some cordon bleu dishes; the rest have offered bread and butter football most of the time, despite having exotic overseas chefs to call upon. Dullest domestic season in years.