[Editor's note: this was a lot more timely, but I'm rubbish at uploading things at the moment. Don't blame Mr West though]
In this modern era where time is of the essence, some sporting contests just go on for too long. There’s a long unnecessary build-up of tension.
Must we really be forced to watch a tennis match for three hours, an F1 Grand-prix for close to two hours, and darts for three and a half pints?
No. Let’s cut to the chase.
To enable true fans to be able to enjoy their sport and yet also allow them time to email all their friends/work colleagues/partners; update their Facebook page; and drink themselves senseless; I propose the following:
Basketball:
The game starts at 90 – 90 with all players on four fouls. Games to last two minutes. All fouls to the free-throw line. No time-outs.
Darts:
Best of one. 159-down.
Cricket:
Only play Twenty-20. Assume England have made 113-9. Give the opposition the Duckworth – Lewis target for five overs.
F1:
All races to be three laps. Drivers placed on grid in reverse order.
Athletics:
All field events to be reduced to just one round. Track events over 1500m to be abolished.
Boxing:
First punch to the chin wins.
(I thought I’d leave boxing as it is)
Tour de France:
To be decided by the total time over two stages: The first being the top 2km of the “Col de la Forclaz”, and the second being from Place de la Concorde to the Arc de Triomphe.
Golf:
Put Tiger on the tee of any hole anywhere. Tell him he needs a birdie to win. If he fails, share the prize-money between everyone else.
Must dash!
4 comments:
Very g.. arggh look at the time! Gotta go.
I have three words only:
Fan tas tique!
Poor choice for the final one. Everyone knows that the rest are beaten as soon as Tiger stands on the first tee - why wait for a hole?
Hi Phil, I wish I had time to read your piece, looks interesting.
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