Champions league pretenders - Premcorrespondent

I hate Notting Hill Carnival. The rum is cheap. The music is loud. Even the roll-ups roll ups handed round taste rotten. And to top it all off I always wake up in bloody Glasgow without a penny and have to hitch a lift home.

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Still, London was unavoidable this weekend. Old Medders invited me to his local for the Big Cup game. Tel’s a proud old git and drank eight pints for the eight goals he was convinced his Spurs would score. And that was in the first half. I had to repay the favour really and scored him a spare for their drubbing of Wigan.

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Boy what a mistake. Drinking with their old boys is heavy going when they win. It never ends when they lose; and losing ignominiously to a dogged Wigan came as a hell of a shock. The Lilywhites looked like they didn’t care to work hard, the fans expected a walkover, and Wigan decided to impress their travelling minibus of fans by being better than the champions league hopefuls they were away to.

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So… Good news for the Sky Blues then. But no. They ran out of ideas as quickly as their accountant runs out of zeros when working out the wage bill. Sunderland turned the game into an English style frenzy of directionless activity and the calm Italian style Mancini prefers gave way to lots of energy and no end product.

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Of course there nearly was end product. Tevez, by far and away the best player in all of Manchestarabia, spooned an awful effort over from twelve yards out. He had enough time and space for a drunk 77-year-old Medwin to have scored. So a last gasp penalty made it a bad weekend for two of the sides battling for a top flight finish.

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Liverpool did better. After two rough games that they should have done better in, the Reds finally recorded a win. It was only against West Brom, and it was a poor performance that barely deserved for either side to share the points, let alone take all three. But Torres was the difference and his volley at least made the top four aspirants level on four points somewhere around mid-table.

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Further up are Aston Villa. Their early lead was held until the final whistle against an Everton side who look like relegation fodder. These were sides who should compete for a Uefa Cup spot. Presently the Villains have nabbed fourth place while Everton have joined Stoke as unexpected bottom three filler.

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Of course Stoke have their own problems, but it would be harsh to judge them against their tough first three games. Chelsea away was a standard 2-0 home win that disappointed the Lions’ fans for dragging down their goal average. I do like a team with grit, but away to the champions? A team with several flouncing pansies who like to earn penalties? Nope, it was always going to be painful to watch. In truth the penalties were fair and the champions deserved their points.

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The other relegation side right now is West Ham. They kidded themselves that their problem last year was a bright and promising Italian manager. Will they blame the dour and proven Israeli this time or finally accept most of their team is rubbish? Rooney’s goal drought was ended and the 3-0 score line says it all.

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And in games some of us were too drunk or hung-over to notice, Arsenal laboured to an away win at Blackburn while Wolves v Newcastle, Fulham v Blackpool and Bolton v Birmingham were all score draws, so check your pools coupon.