Thursday, November 13, 2008

The Cult of Personality - ElSell

Yes kids the show of shows, the award that has driven many a young would be hoodie to strive to be the best of the best, if Oscar was into sports as a child and not comic books he would be The BBC Sports Personality Of The Year err trophy. I think it’s safe to assume that it is called the personality of the year award due to the BBC fearing that years would pass without anyone actually winning anything.

However they were wrong and indeed due to Britain’s great ability to usually win at least one event in a calendar year it is a personality award in name only, as year on year it is given to those who being single minded and determined as a competitor should be, tend to display all the personality of a damp squib.

A quick peruse through the previous winners begs the question:
Honestly how many of them would you like to go for a drink with?
Yes there is a recent winner you wouldn’t mind getting drunk but that’s between you and Jesus.

Unlike most years where the BBC has to big up a couple of failures to create interest, this year there is actually real competition for the award.

The List of possible winners breaks into three categories:

The Trust Fund Kidults:
The best at what they do and heavily funded to get them across the line.

Hoy: Good bloke; beat literally tens of people from around the world spending thousands to win 3 medals.

Hamilton: Visits Britain when he can; a true genius in his field, team spent millions to win a competion that really could only be won by 3 other drivers.

The Self Made:
Not exactly paupers but not externally funded to the same extent and in events that are more competitive.

Cavendish: He is no Sean Kelly but has achieved more this year in the big bad world of “proper” cycling than any other Britain ever.

Murray: One of the most successful years ever by a British tennis player. Didn’t win Wimbledon!

Calzaghe: Won it last year.

The Welfare State
Or the Swimmers as they prefer to be known, well one swimmer in particular is front of the queue.

Adlinton: Two gold’s, had done most of her training in a 25 metre pool, grants that are not much more than the dole and as for her personality, well she has spent a lot of time in the pool.

If I had my way and one was to take the title of the show on its merits the winner should be this lunatic or the somewhat saner Eleanor Simmonds.

Unfortunately seeing as the people who actually vote tend to be people who stand in front of the TV saluting this or people who watch this and think it is real.

The winner will be either the bloke on the indoor bike or the bloke in the car.


MotM said...

ElSell - Not as polished as some entries no doubt, but I loved this. Brilliant shooting from the hip and great links. But they don't do funny at Big Blogger - the straightest piece I've ever done is the one that gets shortlisted.

Great links too - I'd booze with Tom Simpson, Surtees (bikes not cars), Jackie Stewart, Steve Cram, Steve Davis, Barry McGuighan and Flintoff. But I'm a sports tragic!

ElSell said...

Cheers kid!
There the ones id booze with too;
And Botham!?

Polished AND funny, for FREE?
Not happening captain, not happening! :)
It was about 650-700 words, the cut wasnt kind tbh

It is on topic and all just written backwards, at end who i want and at start why!

My history of pointing flaws/racism in articles probably doesnt help in guardian towers lol
Im only entering to lose;)

I didnt put you on the first one tbh, not your style, you must have really been pushing to write the way they want? :)

I hate ":)" but if i dont use them people never know when im joking or when im being a total.....

good luck!!!

offsideintahiti said...

"I hate ":)" but if i dont use them people never know when im joking or when im being a total....."

Sounds familiar.

Interesting format, Elsy, and very educational for a non-Brit like me. Quite a few sportspeople there I'd never heard of. Cheers for that.

greeengrass said...

Murray lost, so he should surely win...

Tweet it, digg it