Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Mad Boks and Englishmen - premcorrespondent

While all Englishmen and women (well the ones that speak posh) were concentrating on whether a mix of public schoolboys, Rugby League converts and organo-phosphate poisoned farmhands could turn over the descendents of the Voortrekkers (and Percy Montgomery), proper football went ahead as usual... alas.

The lunchtime kick-off resounded to thousands of scousers (and some Liverpool supporters) baying for blood, but only one cry was answered in the affirmative - when Mark Clattenberg, on second thoughts, agreed with Stevie G that Tony Hibbert should get a red card and duly dismissed him. Stevie was soon hooked by Rafa who knows that it's the CL that will make his reputation, not parochial events like the.... Premier League.

While the England man cleared Tesco bags off the bench and settled down to sign photos for Clattenburg, Dirk Kuyt was showing that he could become the new Cantona and Carragher was pulling Lescott down on to his prone body like an aspirant porn star. Everton 1 Liverpool 2 and David Moyes minus 30 grand, once the FA blazers get round to a hearing. The Merseyside teams are now 11th and fourth respectively, which is where they are likely to finish. The Premier League have kindly given Clattenberg next weekend off so he can reacquaint himself with the rule book.

The six three o'clock games (a generous quota these days) saw Arsenal continue their season of wonder goals with a 2-0 win over a Bolton side bereft of the managerial influence of Sammy Lee (yes, there was no difference). Chelsea cruised to a 2-0 win at the Riverside over long term residents of "The Best League in the World" Middlesborough. Elano continued his quest to wrest the Footballer of the Year award away from little Cesc with another virtuoso display for Citeh as they ran out 1-0 winners over Mrs Doubtfire's Birmingham.

Sven's success in England and overseas gives him the kind of CV the FA will be looking for to replace Steve McClaren... or maybe not. The other three matches brought Portsmouth more points with a 0-2 win at Wigan, Fulham draw nil-nil with Derby in a game that won't have pleased Frankie Howerd lookalike Laurie Sanchez and Tugay (see above) leading his mob to victory over the Royals, as Blackburn ran out 4-2 winners over Reading.

On a channel nobody can watch except if you're at the pub, Manchester United defeated Aston Villa 1-4 without the help of Ronaldo, but with plenty of assistance from Rob "Hey, Look at Me!" Styles, who secured his usual quantum of camera-time by giving penalties and red cards to the Villa.

Roy Keane had squeezed out a very scary beard in the international break, but the face furniture (and all the talk of Black Cats - where did that come from?) didn't bring any luck, as West Ham were flattered by a 3-1 scoreline.

Champions League 2009 non-contenders Tottenham Coldspurs rounded out the weekend's fixtures with a 3-1 defeat at Big Sam's Newcastle. Martin Jol was doing his head slightly tilted back Mussolini look, but he'll be hanging from a lamp-post soon (metaphorically, I think).

And that's it, with just a Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday of European matches to keep us going before the weekend's matches kick off. Enjoy Friday!

44 comments:

andrewm said...

Is it any coincidence that Man City became good at exactly the same time I took them over in my game of Championship Manager and made them great?

I think not.

Benitez is NOT focused on the CL. He puts out the side for each match that he believes has the best chance of winning that match. He would be insane to do otherwise.

Also, why shouldn't Gerrard point out to the ref that it's a red card offence when it clearly is?

byebyebadman said...

Was it not Gerrard who whinged to high heaven when Ronaldo and other Portugal players who don't play for Manchester United (ergo don't count) harangued the refereee to give Rooney a red card last year? Some people might see it as a double standard.

MotM said...

Andrewm - I take your point, but history shows that it is very difficult to challenge in the Premier League and the CL. I suggest that Rafa sets out to win the CL and hopes to win the Premier League and selects accordingly. Should Liverpool lose this week and soon be in a hopeless position in the CL, it'll be interesting to see if there is much tinkering in the PL side from match to match.

It was a red card offence, but it's still poor form to point it out to the ref. Nobody likes that miming of the card do they? Was Stevie G's word so different?

tony said...

Whooeee, prem, I see you've gone for the controversial angle. Good thing too. Cheating a bit though as we don't know who you are. Still, I suppose some will accuse you of bias in any case. Hope it doesn't get as nasty as GU.

By the way, what have you got anainst the Irons? Last week two or three words in the 'games that don't matter' section and this week a small aside about being flattered. I bet you're gooner!!!

andrewm said...

BBB, it is indeed a double standard and to that extent I agree, but it has ever been thus with Gerrard. For him to accuse anyone else of cheating or unsporting conduct is total arse. However, the ref was all set to make a ridiculous mistake and Gerrard simply had a quiet word. If the ref actually changed his mind solely because it was England's Stevie G then that's his and the FA's problem.

Mouth, I just can't agree with you on this one, and you know that pains me. As you know, Rafa believes obsessively in fitness stats, and these have a large bearing on his selection every time. He also continues to misread league matches and sends out sides that are unable to kill off weaker opposition.

Simple errors, Mouth. The man's great, but he's not perfect. He believes that by this system of rotation he can win both the CL and the league. He is wrong. I believe he won't be in charge next season, whether by resignation or "mutual consent", and I will miss him.

guitougoal said...

Surprising:Kenwyne Jones-number 17- Sunderland.Previously unknown to me, seeing him play for the first time was a revelation.His ability with the ball, his speed and strengh in the air are reminding of Drogba...is Roy Keane going to be able to keep him?

MotM said...

Gitou - My ten-year-old really rates him (and thinks he is like Drogba). keane was widely seen as paying over the odds at £5M, but he looks a bargain. Tottenham might fancy a swap with Defoe.

Margin said...

I was about to make a defence of my beloved spurs there - but unfortunately the moment I tried I froze while some one scored.

guitougoal said...

Motm.
yes, I was surprised the big clubs didn't pick him.
But your Ten years old knows for sure.

byebyebadman said...

Is that really Tugay in the picture? It looks like an extremely aged Francesco Totti.

guitougoal said...

-he looks tome like Spartacus (kirk degeulasse)
-I don't think anybody will chuckle at the news that the L.A Galaxy season ended without David Beckham registering a single shot on goal in the 252 minutes he played for the team. (not including free kicks)-Laughter is the best medicine or as gm Alexi Lalas put it a few month ago.-"the US will never have dealt with an athlete who has this kind of international impact.David Beckham is at an entirely different level than Tiger Woods or Michael Jourdan"-
He sure is right now on the same level as the Galaxy a franchise that might want to change their name or move somewhere else. Sport can be a great teacher.

gg said...

Ah, premcorr - terse, quality writing!

Your anonymity (hard getting that out
- shorter than it feels) is intriguing. Your wry sense of humour must have been tempered in adversity - are you a Latics fan, still lamenting Dennis Irwin's departure?

I'm not so much concerned with St. Stevie having a "quiet word" with theat Battenburg bloke as surprised that the ref understood what he said. I assume that the F.A., in their decidedly-finite wisdom, have taken pity on the poor sod and put him on the sich with an acute case of tinitus.

Three games in a row at a rate of 4 goals a game - if we put 4 past those camels from the Emirates, I'll treat you all to a gutfull of
Off Topic Winter Warmer.

GG

munni said...

gg: camels?!

I will come back later when I'm feeling up to rational analysis, but I just wanted to say that I am madly in love with Arsene right now, and also with Cesc. And yes, I do know that we wouldn't have scored a few of those seven goals yesterday if Prague's defense were slightly more alert, and I also know that it is only October and there still is plenty of time for things to go badly wrong. (had to throw in that last clause, don't want to jinx us).

guitougoal said...

munni,

Don't fall for that, the camels are great animals, they run across the desert for ever and ignore the dogs barking...

munni said...

aha, I thought it meant like donkeys, only more arrogant and ungainly. Actually I quite like camels myself.

gg said...

munni -

OK, I'll settle for "dromedaries from the Emirates".

Arsene AND Cesc? Mirage a trois!

tahitian camel said...

gg,

who put the hump in da bump a bump a bump?

guitougoal said...

mirage a trois...dromaderies from the emirates...LoL!

the hunchback said...

I always wanted to be a camel.

Zephirine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
guitougoal said...

zeph,
did you leave with the camels straight to the desert?

Zephirine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Zephirine said...

Damn, that still isn't it, must be a dromedary in the works.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ers81uWpRQg

gg said...

Deat tahitian camel,

who put the llama in the llamallamadingdong?

MotM said...

The way this thread has gone off topic is allamaing.

Ebren said...

Geeze Mouth, I wasn't allamaed until you started Yaking on about it muletilating the thread horribly.

bluedaddy said...

Things have gone too far Ebren. I think we need a gnu topic.

I'll get my goat.

MotM said...

Yeah Ebren - Don't have a cow about all the bull up here. Leave us to tittle-cattle until we're hoarse.

mimi said...

a gnu topic?

Try this - sorry I couldn't find the original.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=afdsL23fa5s

gg said...

Come on, people - thrutch out some funnies, otherwise this thread will just tapir off.

mimi said...

gg: I thought I'd warned everyone about what would happen if a tapir was brought in.

Yep - I'll go crying to another place and weep on a shoulder provided there.

On the other hand, what is happening tonight?

offsideintahiti said...

It's one-nil at calf-time.

mimi said...

I thought it was The End.
Everton won so Mouth must be a happy chap.

gg said...

mimi,

I disphinxly wrote "tapir off", but seem neverthelice to have opened a can of worms.

offsideintahiti said...

gg,

maggot you, babe.




Sorry, I'll get me cockroach.

Anonymous said...

Offy,

don't beetle off like that - we're just starting to moove.

offsideintahiti said...

Sorry, but I have to fly...

mimi said...

Offie: the sphinx will be waiting.

old moore said...

OK, playmates -

leaving for a week in Sardinia in 5 minutes.

PREDICTIONS

Liverpool, prior to their plunge into the relegation zone, will take 3 points off Arsenal tomorrow.

Several Arsenal minors will see red.

Rafa will stop doing Rolf Harris covers, and in future eke out a living selling dirty postcards in Benidorm.

Graeme Souness, Jamie Redknapp and Wee Sammy Lee will all be appointed
manager of Liverpool, working on a rotational basis.

Arsenal, decimated by suspensions, will in one week's time surrender to Lord Wrigley at the Battle of the Emirates.

Avramovic Grant will retire to his distillery in the Golan Hielands.

Russel Brand will learn joined-up writing.

kokograndfather said...

fucking hell

guitougoal said...

just lost the damned chrystal ball again but still can predict the past - which is almost the same as the future,history constantly repeating itself.

offsideintahiti said...

kk,

that you? for real?

andrewm said...

KK, if that is indeed you, I was mighty impressed with your work on Scott Murray's thread the other week.

We need your wisdom more than ever, sir.

old moore said...

Oh - I forgot to predict that KK would return.

Lord Wrigley: 4 goals a game, 4 games in a row (soon to be 5?).

I see shitty City finally came down to earth...

P.S. Sardinia is great!

Tweet it, digg it