Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Book deal?

Hello fellows and fellettes - your friendly neighbourhood media mogul here.

As the next step in the plan for global pseudification we have been talking about a book.

Thanks to your inspirational and prolific tappings we actually have more than enough material to fill one - but there are some questions.

First question - who wants one? We need to know how many to ask for. Provisional cost, about £8 - if we self publish from

Secondly what goes in?

I think a selection of the non-time-specific articles (i.e. the ones that are not "this happened in this game at this point" or "I think the CL will be won by Branston Rabids") seems wise (I can produce a provisional list if needed).

If you have suggestions or remember the ones you liked the bestest drop a comment here or email me (address above).

Thirdly - what are we doing about comments. Considering there are 50,000 words worth of comments on a single article here we can't include them all. There was talk of letting the author of the article pick the ones they liked best and including only those.

Oh - and we need a front cover, so get creative people.

Post all thoughts here.


offsideinhollywood said...

Forget the book, I think we should make a movie.

Post your casting ideas here.

file said...

bloody hell Offie, that's got to be a record 0-60 to off-topic, the thread hasn't even started yet!

Grace Jones was born to play the Zephirine role surely

mimi said...

I'm more than happy to put some work in on this - offering editing and proofing skills is easy for me to do. I think some match/race reports should be included because this brings an immediacy for readers, even though there is the obvious time-lag issue. As far as comments are concerned, it's difficult because sometimes it's the comments that really bring the thread and article alive (hasn't happened much on mine, admittedly!). Maybe there is something different to be done with comments at another point - ie if we find there is genuine interest outside our happy band for publishing anything at all. Be good to see the selection you've gone for thus far. I think there are ways to market this outwith our own friends and famililies and will have a think.

offside said...

file, we definitely have very different mental images of the lady Zeph, but why not.

Val Kilmer for Ebren is a given, but who will play bluedaddy?

Ebren said...

Gotta be one of these for bluedaddio - but which one?

offside said...

All three. Bluedaddy is a one-man band anyway.

pipita said...

What about the French pair of Offy and Guitou?? I suggest Alain Delon-Jean Paul Belmondo

Alain Delon said...

Very flattering, pipita. Are you trying to get us to suggest Antonio Banderas (with long hair and "guitar" case) for your part?

file said...

I'll knock up some design ideas to be pooled and there are the t-shirt designs to consider too

inclusive editing is great, I'm sure there are more knowledgeable folk here than me on publishing procedure but I'd imagine that an editorial team might help quality control issues

for me, I think abridged threads have to be a part of it, it's the life blood of this dog forsaken place, without the threads it's just another journal no?

maybe have a cap on thread word count per article and agree content with eds and auts

bluedaddy was in truly excellent literary form last night on Marcela's - got to be Tony Curtis

file said...

fantastic link ebren, perhaps thats the ed team and process combined?

offie = Rowan Atkinson

Philippe Leotarde said...

I think Bluedady should be played by Chelseaexile.

Zeph said...

Grace Jones??? Grace JONES????

Tend to agree with Mimi that we shouldn't discount articles just because they're tied to a specific event, there can easily be a note to remind people.

pipita said...

Antonio Banderas?? Dont think he can put on a credible porteño, let alone Argentine, accent. Offy, do you think Guitou will be as flattered with Belmondo?? What about Albert Finney as Professor Greengrass?? He's from the Manchester area as well

offside said...

Albert Finney sounds good.

If Grace Jones plays Zeph, she should have a duo with Marvin Gaye, who will be played by Oliver Reed.

andrewm said...

It only makes sense to me to produce a book if you go for the colourful personal accounts, interspersed with a few comedic ramblings.

offsidethescoundrel's epic would be a great example of the former. That was not only beautifully written but also gave me a far better idea of offy's outlook on sport and life.

Basically, the articles that most strongly express the personality and passions of the writers - wasn't this why Pseuds was created?

file said...

andrewm = Daniel Radcliffe

mimi said...

Your're all Off-topic so bloody fast. If I could I'd whip you into shape, fastish. Or even fetish. Come on troops, apply your intelligence and intellect. If we want to work with the good lord Ebren, then stop pissing about and let's make magic.

file said...

o mimi and her frequent but fastish fetishes, she cracks I flinch


are we going to try to include pictures?

what about added value content like a glossary of terms and abuses, index of You Tube links etc?

will this thread be included?

offside said...

And we still haven't cast Mimi's part. What's the name of the actress who plays Mrs Ratchet, the head nurse in "One flew over the cuckoo's nest?"

andrewm said...

If you include comments then just make sure Mouth/GN has at least three on every article chosen, for that is the law of the sporting blog and always will be.

offside said...

And this thread of comments should obviously be included as a preface.

file said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
file said...

more like a warning than a preface so far

offie, was the nurse Queen Latifa?

andrewm, obviously distinguished Radcliffe like Gregory Peck but with cat scars on the forehead

mimi, zeph,

think some historically rooted pieces might ground this thing, I mean, what about next years book?

andrewm said...

file, I'll settle for Daniel Radcliffe. I was expecting a lot worse.

Will a copy signed by marcela cost extra?

Will one signed by GG be free?

offside said...

Should we include deleted comments? Will Marcela play herself? Dog, so many questions...

guitougoal said...

my, my,have you heard of Tantrum throwing?
you writers never change, never will, as soon as there is a rumor about printing your stories you got all excited now you have your Pseudlitzer price.....I am sitting on my steps smoking a paper of pakalolo and thinking- no one ever writes a story about a guy who worked 14hrs every day making tee-shirts for the company, go to church every sunday, never went into rehab, never wrecked a car or had to be paroled-because he is no hero-
I don't want to finger Ebren, for whom I have respect but since he started this adventure I think it's about time for him to reward the little guy for his efforts and reliability-Can't you understand the frustration? I want to be in this picture-
And I promise you all the autographs you want once I am a celebrity.

mimi said...

I'm winging my way into free-fall here. Dante's circles of hell. What would be good would be a sane discussion, but that's not happening...............

pipita said...


Louise Fletcher

guitougoal said...

belmondo? I shaved my head to get Alain Delon of my back.

Zephirine said...

Guitou, what about back in the taproom thread, when you got arrested and hospitalised? Don't tell me that wasn't real?? Oh dog, I'm all confused now.

Obviously, then, in the movie you will play yourself, become an overnight star and we will all become your hangers-on and entourage. How does that sound?

Zephirine said...

(sensible comment alert)

I'm going to re-read back through the blogs, pick out my favourite pieces and send the list to Ebren. But blimey, there's a lot of stuff.

file said...

blimey Grace, that's a Gordian sword you've got there

just don't forget to take a ball of string, and use it

pipita said...


That confirms why I thought you'd be happier with Belmondo.
What about Marcela's part??? Thats a really tough one...Salma Hayek???
Well, she played Frida Kalo didn't she

Zephirine said...

File: I may be gone for some time.

chelseaexile said...

pipita, salma hayek also played a vampire stripper in From Dusk 'til Dawn.

I agree, clearly a shoe-in for Marcella...

andrewm said...

Since nobody asked, here in no order and with no help for you to find the actual article is my personal Best of the Best:

Kokomo - the day the music died

Plissken - Phoenix from the ice

Doc - one more river

godlovesatheists - the curse of commentators

Ebren - 6 degrees 12 goals

tonyellis - brave new game

offy - Tahiti Nui Va'a

miro - human manager vs machine

pipita - lack of charisma (Crespo)

marcela - Kusturica on Maradona

mimi - how sport reflects our lives

GG - a great English game

Mouth - in good time

godlovesatheists - Ray Kale

allwell - Peter Swan

mimi - radio commentary

tonyellis - part-time fan

GG - the meaning of sport

duncan23 - Dock Ellis

offy - Reverse angle

KK - your history's no good to me

paulita - it's not just a game

nesta - (I can't choose just one. Print them all)

pipita said...

Your right, thats the Rodríguez-Tarantino movie n'est pas??

That looks like a pretty decent selection. Your surely aware however that any serious anthology needs a preliminary study or introduction...Ive got the perfect man for that: Andrewm

offsideinfrance said...

Hey guys, it's the 4th of july. Let's celebrate. God bless America!

pipita said...


Yeah, with freedom fries and peanut butter....

chelseaexile said...


oui mon ami. It tied in nicely with the Banderas angle I thought...

Hmmm... freedoom fries and peanut butter? I'm just off to the kitchen...

andrewm said...

pipita, I was going to suggest GG adapt his "Where we are now" article as an intro. I thought it was a very good expression of what Pseuds represents to a lot of us.

Incidentally, whatever happened to louisquatorze?

mimi said...

Somethig changed

MotM said...

andrew - thanks for the list. Good Dog there's some good stuff in there.

Zephirine said...

Whew.. just skimmed through the lot, may have missed some treasures but I've got 43 serious articles and about 10 comic/light-hearted ones, which I would be happy to see in a book.

Quite a few 'where are they now' names writing those early pieces, maybe that's a question for another time.

offside said...

Agreed, Mouth, everything in Andy's list is good but there's also a lot of good stuff missing. Like all of Zeph's Chanelle & Alicia chronicles, for example, but also her story of the milkmaids and other articles on cricket (yes, I'm sticking up for articles on cricket, moi).

Having said that, she's gone into the archives all alone and we may never see her again, so...

And if you've watched any horror movies you know that the worst idea at this stage is to send out a small search party after her. Better all stick together in here.

Although, if Salma Hayek volunteers to come with me...

DoctorShoot said...

already 5 july here... but last night raised a glass to freedom, justice, international diplomacy, and fair and transparent treatment of prisoners, and all those things sewn into the starry tricolour...

Book title:
'freak clique speak'
'the kick when you aren't looking'
'g u seem a lot better now'

Zepherine - played by Grace Jones or else a younger Meryl Streep or even (dare one breath it) Sade...

File - clearly a spot for the return of Michael Cain if he could get the accent right, or else a slightly more outspoken Neil Young

OffsideInManyPlaces - a standout for Mario Lanza at his best (Ave Maria in a chapel to win the girl!!) or else Bogart as the younger Offie and Sydney Greenstreet playing the more mature years see:

Ebren - this sought after gig has been claimed by peter o'toole having been to the four corners

Pipita - has been bid for by Gonzalo Higuain but obviously will be snapped up by Paco Calatrava

andrewm - has secretly signed the coltrain item to do voiceovers with the visual parts offered to Edgaras Jankauskas just to keep him in the country...

offside said...

Damn it, Zeph, you're back already!? You could have given me a minute, I'm sure Salma was about to say something.

Ebren said...

interesting list Mr M

Wouldn't have picked that one of mine.

I was thinking having the whole Channelle and M Vaughn tapes as a section as well. (At home with duckworth and Lewis was genius as well).

We have three art articles - well, file has football or tart. But that's pretty close. We could pepper those throughout.

Slimjim's "dear paolo" is awesome. File's got a lot to answer for - but "It's evolution baby was" superb. Zeph shows she can do emotive and powerful as well as funny and postman pat with "things would never be the same". Lee's 41 seconds is great. But that's barely scratching the surface.

I think we could do a history section as well.

On photos - doable, but cost more.

We have 200+ articles.

marcela said...

andrew, to your list i would add bluedaddy on preston north end, hannibal's mother's home made subbutteo, several of zeph's and slimjim's and johnnyboy's, byebyebadman's defence of inz- aaaghhhh- i], the hemingway piece and file's challenge to write differently about sport... something i think paulita achieves when she so does :) - among others.
the rabbit cl should run as a sub plot throughout - it's insane! and some taprooms maybe ?

and from comments i wouldn't want to not read honolulu's account of performing underwater, eric's match report later turned into a blog entry in itself, nesta's response to a very serious piece - in fact, that whole thread, i think mouth authored the 'blog head'...

which kinda leads me back to my original predicament which is how do you 'edit' this organic multifaceted 'thing' into a book without losing some its essence - the je ne sais que which is very much form lead.

i will not lend my support to any film which casts anyone but the young al pacino to play me.

offside said...

OK, I'm slowly recovering from the disappointment of not getting locked up in the archives with Salma and Grace...

I would also add File's piece on the FA Cup final on TV and babysitting, and also...

Hang on, I've got a great idea. Why don't we do a website?

mimi said...

MV lives in my head, so an always do that. But I'll have to come bak==ck here later. To late, too many people.

guitougoal said...

I was hoping you had forgotten,
yes I confess I had broken few barroom mirrors, gotten into a couple of scuffle with the cops but that was after midnight, I thought nobody noticed-
Still I am left alone in a corner making tee-shirts, nobody asked me to stop and nobody care-
if Marcela is played by the young Al Pacino let me be Diane Keaton"Michael...Michael..." but what do I care, I have a plane to catch and you can decide about my career later, until then the balcony is closed.

marcela said...

guitou - i was thinking of you more as the young brando... :)

i'm becoming a character in springfield.
check it out

andrewm said...

I hope I didn't offend anyone by leaving them off my list. It wasn't a suggestion as to what would make a good book, just some personal favourites.

byebyebadman said...

As an idea how about submitting a list of our favourite 10 or whatever to Ebren (or whoever would like to tot them up) and we can acheive some kind of consensus on what should go in? Don't know how diverse that would make it...probably why I'm no editor! Wouldn't be a bad starting point though.

As for the film, can Godfather-era James Caan do a scene-stealing cameo on my behalf?

offside said...


sorry, that's too easy, you can't cast your own part. I'm sure File has something in store for you.

byebyebadman said...

Offy - you'd be fulfilling a childhood dream. He needs the work as well.

offside said...

Well, Badman, I'm not the casting director around here, but for you I was thinking maybe Michael Keaton... Oh no, wait, that was BATman! Sorry.

byebyebadman said...

That works, at least you didn't go for Adam West!

file said...

you'd better watch it badman, Eddie Murphy is positioning himself to make your role his...

mimi said...

And I don't think anyone has cast me yet. I'm thinking Offy may have an idea. Do tell.

offside said...

Mimi, just look up the thread, will you?

Ebren said...

posting your ten faves is fine - easier to email them (and some stories please - I'm on strike until someone else writes something - and I don't mean a rubbish Offsidesque candle in the window job here) than post them here as that would get silly.

I'll post the list, and then people can rubbish it in the comments to that article.

Sound like a plan?

bluedaddy said...

It may be that I missed something along the way but I am intrigued to know - what is the rationale behind having a Pseuds book? I thought I knew, but have realised I dont really.

The two major reasons that bring me to Pseuds are the quality of the writing/comments, and the cameraderie of the threads.

Clearly many of the pieces will stand up to reading and re-reading by people unfamiliar with the blog and its regulars, and the same goes for some of the threads that follow them. But new readers can do just that by visiting this very blog, for free, day or night, anywhere in the world. And another tree/forest/the odd branch or two is thereby saved.

The cameraderie is something people can choose to join in with (or not) as new blogs are posted. Old ones are done and dusted. A book only offers a one way mirror into the world of Pseuds (and I suppose an enticement to visit online).

Don't get me wrong. I love books. I have spent nearly twenty years of my working life selling them. As such, the only reason I can think of for putting a Pseuds book together is to create that beautiful object - the book. But is that reason enough?

For all the other things that occur to me I just keep thinking that the blog itself does the job.

I'm not trying to say y'all shouldn't do it, but I'm intrigued as to why.

offside said...

"Offsidesque rubbish"... I see.

Anglo-French relations are now set back to 1337. I'll see you on the field. Sounds like a plan allright.

Ebren said...

Why book? Because we can. I mean that's the thing that tipped it for me. The fact we could do it.

Also as a memory. I'm not thinking of making millions here - but rather to have something that I can stumble upon in 20 years time, settle down for an hour and read and remember.

And the blog is ephemeral. Here. Lost. Broken. Taken down. Sold.

A record in paper would be nice, and print-outs are so crude. Perfect bound with a stunning piece of cover art is far better.

And finally - because the work here is good. Some of it superb.

It deserves it.

Ebren said...

Offy - make that 15:20 and a far prettier field and you're on.

andrewm said...

Ebren, I had some of the same queries as BD and I have to say that's a good comeback from yerself - but how do comments fit into that?

If you include none or only a select few, won't you find yourself wishing in 20 years that you could remember or read the rest? What is the balance?

I think you have to leave them out, and accept that the book is a very separate thing. It will only be representing the quality of the writing, because it simply can't represent the entire community.

offside said...

Shootout? Five each?

Ebren said...

in two minds about the comments. The comments on Everybody gets a smile would fill a book on their own.

The current thinking is that the author picks some/none to go with the piece.

The question is what we leave out/if we just make the book bigger.

30 articles with lots of comments, 50 articles with some comments or 80 with none?

Hard balance to strike.

I don't think 30 articles is enough, but where do you draw the line.

I don't have all the answers here, I lost my cheat sheet after a plague of frogs was unleashed by a vengeful dog.

So we're going to have to wing it.

When writing to a word limit you include everything you think you need for a piece, and then start cutting if you are over the word limit and keep cutting until you meet it. Focuses the mind wonderfully.

I was thinking along those lines for the book - just on a larger scale.

pipita said...

Ebren: Would our real names be disclosed in an eventual book?? Just curious

Zeph said...

I agree with Ebren: I'd like a book as a souvenir, and I'm happy to pay 8 quid for it. Most of my friends and relatives won't be interested but I might force a copy onto a couple of them. The good thing about is that you can actually print a small number of copies on demand and there's no need to get involved in big print runs or to start pretending it's a commercial venture (which I personally don't think it can, or should, be).

Andrewm, re comments: it doesn't have to be either/or, does it? - articles could be printed with a few comments, none at all, or in a few cases the whole thread.

MotM said...

I'm keen on a book because I like books, but also I find reading on a screen limiting, partly because I can't read in bed, partly because it's too bright and partly because it reminds me of work.

Rather than diminish the blog, I think the book would act like one candle lit from another - such a candle takes nothing from the first, but shines itself in another place.

Ebren said...

I was going to include a "meet tyhe authors" section in the back/front - with pen pics of you 'orrible lot. Real names at the author's discretion Mr G

andrewm said...

But Zeph, how do you choose which article has which comments alongide it? Why should the author of the article choose?

Someone has to make the decision on which articles go in - every book needs an editor. But the comments are part of the community that the blog sustains, and how do you edit the community?

Who says which comments are important?

Zeph said...

Dunno Andrew, these are tricky questions. But it should be possible to get a good level of concensus on which pieces go in. It seemed to me the author of an article would be a good judge of the comments it had received, and it would also divide the labour of selecting comments. But there may be better ways to do it.

MotM said...

I'm with Zeph on the comments point.

bluedaddy said...

You had me at "Because we can".

It would be nice to pluck the book of the shelf in 20 years time and think 'I wonder whatever happened to...'

Of course with Ebren we will all know what happened because in 20 years time all media will be under his control and people will look back fondly and wonder why things couldnt be nicer like when kindly old Rupert Murdoch ran things.

pipita said...

Thanks Mr A:)))
We have to resolve this thing about including the threads or not. I think the threads constitute an essencial ingredient of any blog, and especially of the one we have here. I agree with Andy that it may be rather complicated in some cases to print the whole thread, but its very much the essence of this site. It was actually out of a GU thread that Pseuds was created, let not forget. Having said this, where's Professor Greengrass gone?? Havent "seen" him in ages

Zeph said...

Pipita: it is a problem. I've made plenty of dumb comments that I'd be quite happy to see deleted, but is an edited thread too artificial to be worth having? I do think the answer is probably 'depends on which thread'.

mimi said...

There's so much to address here since my last visit. Gosh, Offy - I have looked, I don't think I've been casted, but you'll tell me. Now I wish again I had a printer and could destroy a small pine-forest so I could read all this easily. That answers one question about why book? Because it would make the reading easier, and I'm with Mouth on this - can't read a blog in bed!
Zeph - a souvenir, yes, and I think I can arm-twist most of my friends into buying. Look, if I can get my family to spend time and energy printing and binding my collection of OBOs from the 2006-7 Ashes and CB series, I think they'll cough up when it is on offer.
How to decide on comments - bloody hard one that. Just here there are some comments that are poems and haikus without even trying.

pipita said...

Zeph, Mimi

Its obvious their would have to be a selection process whereby some unnecesary-pointless-or even excessively personal comments will inevitably have to be erased. Im aware many of you may consider this a dangerous way of "adulterating" the natural rythm of a thread, but I think that if its done in such a way that it doesn't affect the essencial dicussion, regardless of whether its on or off topic, it can work all the same. Off course, this will require supreme editing talents :))) Needless to add, we cant have the Pakalolo taproom threads included

mimi said...

Pipita: agree. The Taproom is a book or film of its own and not suitable for inclusion in something we aim to flog to our families!

DoctorShoot said...

I still favour the idea of a printed book of posts as selected by editorial group,
and accompanied by a cd of comments

so if one is interested in a particular post, one can then go and look upo the thread which followed on the cd, and I favour a warts and all comments approach, or a lot of the fun will be lost (the freedom of spirit after all...)

DoctorShoot said...

meant typos and arll...

offside said...

Mimi, I despair... It's up there in black on white at July 4, 2007 7:22 PM. Pipita gives the answer at 8:08. You didn't think I was going to make it easy for you, did you?

Ebren, I understand that challenging an Englishman to a penalty shootout is low. But given the circumstances, the choice of weapons is rightfully mine.

bluedaddy said...

Let's keep mimi away from working on the index shall we? We'd be here till judgement day.

mimi said...

Offside: well is it surprising I wiped that from my mind? Hardly glam!

file said...

doctorshoot = Spike Lee

file said...

mimi, as I also mentioned above, do you never read the posts!, Queen Latifa might be free...

file said...


Rowan can't make it though, but Richard Roundtree has shown an interest...

file said...

bluedaddy = Al Jolson?

andrewm said...

If you choose articles that I didn't really like for the final book, would it be wrong of me not to buy it?

All these questions ....

Zeph said...

Well, Andrew, that would be between you and your conscience :)

But hey, the book is supposed to be an entertaining luxury, not an obligation. And if we did it through you would buy it from them (or not) as you chose and no-one else would ever know....until Lord Ebren's men raided your home, of course...

andrewm said...

but what if...

I boycott the book unless I get full editorial control?

and but what if...

file said...

what about invoking Pareto's Law for comments?

some posts have all, some have some and some have none

but averaging out to an 80/20 ratio

74,000 words Post/16,000 words Comment for the book as a whole

comments could be edited by the authors of the posts but then reviewed by ed comm

file said...

ahem, 64,000/16,000

numbas was neva my stron poynt, that ws speeling n gamma

andrewm said...

That last post wasn't me.

mimi said...

I hate to devolve power to the nascent media mogul, but think the only way this'll get done is for one person to take control. Again, happy to do proofing or a bit of editing, but if we all have freedom of choice, nothing will happen.

offsideintahiti said...

Just in case andy or anyone is wondering, it wasn't me. I do have a habit of signing up under ficticious names but I have never impersonated a fellow Pseud.

I suppose at this stage, I also owe you all one sensible comment. I'll see if I can manage. Watch this space.

andrewm said...

offy, I never thought it would have been you.

I wasn't aware it was possible to comment under someone else's name. It's very disappointing in a way.

PS. If you see miro around, tell him I expect that article on Novak Djokovic to be on Pseuds by the end of the month.

file said...

it was I, Andrewm

wanted to parody your 1:55 pm comment which I thought was really depressing

how do comments like that help pseuds/book?
what exactly are you contributing?

all these questions?

and anyway what I said you said is directly and fairly representative of what you said, just translated for those who don't speak merde (thought we'd left this behind on GU, sigh)

re book:

pseuds' opinions seem generally in favour of including edited comments (except andrewm), how many and how much can be decided by ed (com) and author

we all know the process for submitting our favourites to Ebren for first stage selection

pictures are probably best avoided

there will be a meet-the-author pen pic at the back which need not include real names

I'd suggest that we probably need the short list now to move on

mimi said...

Good points File. No pics, meet the authors if authors wish at the back. Comments hugely edited. Some threads, if I recall, do have some very good discussions that are neither luvvie or brusque. Ebren probably knows which are the really good ones - some of which generated their own pieces. Short list would be good. Didn't Lord E say he could email us a list?

DoctorShoot said...

spike lee... what can I say...
have we a deadline for the best ten? and only from the corner or pocketful and other stuff too?

andrewm said...

file - you thought we left all what behind on GU exactly?

I wasn't having a go at anyone, I was asking questions like a lot of other people. The last one was clearly a joke.

I don't know if anyone else appreciated your "parody", which you took your time about owning up to.

Perhaps I'll return to Pseuds when it's not being run according to your tastes and guidelines. Perhaps not. In the meantime, feel free to post whatever you like in my name. I'm sure it will be hilarious.

Zephirine said...

Andrew, don't forget File's in a different time-zone so it may be a long while before he replies to your last post.

He was out of order to use your name, but I have to say I wasn't at all sure your 1.55 comment was a joke, and I hesitated before posting a light-hearted reply to it.

Please can we not have huffs and rows on Pseuds, guys? We're all supposed to be grown-ups (apart from Emma, and she's never rude to anyone). Life is much, much too short for this kind of thing.

DoctorShoot said...

i don't think you should be too hurt by file's little jest.
you handled it pretty straight. more a case of file playing with the rules perhaps..

it might give rise to enquiry regarding the ethics of posting as if another taproom regular however... just out of courtesy...

i have posted as fantasy personna a couple of times but have not posted as other taproomers.

there is a way to protect:
create your andrewm profile at
and post a picture of some sort with the id.

others can then see the picture against your post in the comments platform and be sure that the poster is who they say they are.

where a picture is not an original (as mine for instance) posters can still backtrack to the profile if it is a genuine post under that name.

have another round

Zephirine said...

You can't impersonate someone's 'blue' name because that only comes up when they sign in properly. But it gets confused by people like me who can't always be bothered to sign in....

Zeph said...

..... and just put their name in the 'other' section so it comes out in black. And anyone can do that.

file said...

never intended to be clandestine about it, felt pretty confident that andrewm would pick up on it and happy to own up

felt inspired by andrewm's anti-muse to post some excellent good humour of my own

didn't say anything you hadn't already said, Andrew

DoctorShoot said...

I am not in favour of including comments as hard copy text either.

I think the book should be posts only, with comments, in full, on the accompanying cd,

(although a couple of lead-in comments in the hard copy text as teasers might be useful)...

madame shoot and the offshoots want to know who is going to buy this book... "you will for one".. I instructed madameshoot manfully and glowered at the little ones sufficiently that they withdrew enquiry...

are we only going to use Pseudscorner or will Otherstuff and Pocketfull also be considered?

Third world publishing team still on the cards?.. and recycled paper and non toxic inks... yes accompanying CD yes...

Zephirine said...

I think Otherstuff and Pocketfull are separate books, Doc, as indeed the Taprooms could be if anyone was ever drunk enough to want to read them.

The CD is a good idea - did you envisage the CD having the articles and their complete threads?

But I do think some comments in the book would be good, if only to break it up a bit - a succession of short pieces can be quite annoying to read after a while.

mimi said...

Andrewm: please don't go off in a huff - File's just file (go to the Salon for more proof!). Doc - like the idea of a CD for comments as did my friend who visits often, posts seldom and wishes to remain anonymous. Only the Lord Ebren knows how many pages the articles make, or what this pricing deal is on production but I'd have thought if the punters (our families, friends and those we accost in the street) are asked to shell out the best of a tenner, then 250-300 pages of a B-format paperback (if that's still a term in usage - the size of a Virago or Picador) would be appropriate. The authors selected should have a chance at re-checking their work for typos etc, or leave that to a designated proofer - on whom they can pin all blame! Where's the shortlist????

file said...

sorry shoot I forgot to include your CD suggestion in my attempted summation

it might be a good alternative and it would certainly free space for articles

the burning of a 100 CD's is not a problem at all, the only difference would be that shipping would probably have to be by a different route incurring it's own expenses (less lollies for the offshoots)

imo, I think this should be strictly Pseuds' and not OT, Pocketful hasn't really got started yet and would raise the issue of pic copyrights

mimi said...

File - agree about the other places. Hope you didn't mind my comment. Not meant in any way, except you are just you. Get the drift?

Zephirine said...

Doc, Lord Ebren will have the answers to this, but I think that currently the idea is to use to do the printing because they're about the only outfit that doesn't ask for a large initial print run, which most printers will do just to cover their costs. Also customers can buy direct from them.

Mimi, I sent Ebren my preferred 45 or so and he said his list was longer, so 'shortlist' is a figurative term! You should send him a list of your faves.

file said...

mimi, not, but don't know what you refer too, normally when I go feral it's pretty conscious if unstoppable, never meant to tinkle on your strawberries at all

dog I hate numbas but if you look at them:

approx. 80,000 word book is going to be apporx. 80 articles without comments, the short list was only ever going to be a title for a very long list

mimi said...

Zeph/File: I'll think about my "shortlist" over the next few days then. Obviously I'll have to modestly exclude all of mine (NOT!) but wouldn't mind a punt at how many we should think of. This could take some time ....

MotM said...

andrewm - Stay please.

Zeph said...

I've just discovered this really good site:

It has a good bit in section 5 about publishing online vs hard copy. Also lots of other thought-provoking articles about the online world.

mimi said...

Thanks for this Zeph: there is an absolute mass of fascinating stuff here. Will take a while to digest, but much relevant, I think from what I've read so far.

marcela said...

i would just like to say that i think impersonating another regular is really out of order.

the link zeph offers is indeed very interesting, and there is some stuff there about internet identity management which is probably worth a closer read.

but here, i have been drawn by a sense of community and a will to be a member of a group which is able to self moderate, to stray on and off topic, and develop arguments and discussions allowed to flow freely.

not only do i consider andrewm to be one of the driving forces underlying the 'creation' of this community, but i also think his 1.55 post was hugely relevant.

it didn't deserve to be hailed as a justification for someone else posting under his name - i think this isn't acceptable.

if i thought any of you might think it funny to post comments using my name i wouldn't want to join the fray either.

i do hope andrew returns, though, because i really value his contributions.

offsideintahiti said...


I agree with everything you say and, as I told File elsewhere, I agree that the "impersonation" was a mistake, yet I am reluctant to cast any stones too quickly because I'd be lying if I said I've never been tempted myself. (Oh, for a post in support of River Plate signed Marcela, or an Arsenal eulogy by bluedadski...)

I suppose the way we find the limits for ourselves in this unmoderated space is sometimes by crossing them.

Also, and more importantly, I am convinced that File's intent was not deceit. More a misguided attempt at having a dig at Andy through humour.

At least it raised the issue and I hope we can sort it out without too much finger-pointing and blame-laying.

I also hope both File and Andy will decide to get over it and stay.

FileTheHumble said...

dear Andrewm
if you are floating around in the ether in an indeterminate frame, this is the not file other saying please come back...
I didn't mean it, or I did mean it but dind't mean to be mean etc...
I was having a bad Rabbidos hair day and...
aw shucks andy...
PS you were the only one to declare docshoot's illurian nymph comment to be a winner so you have proved your credentials and...

kokomo's grandfather said...

hi all

Very quickly

book = good idea, those who saw my emails know my comments, which i can't be bothered to go through again as they have mostly been covered

Andrewm - thank you for including my only two articles! Please don't go though, i think impersonation is bad, but the lad owned up and a 'serious discussion' was had. Largely agree with marcela.

Like the autors' pen pics idea

marcela said...

orsay - of course we learn as we go.
i don't want to throw stones at anyone, least of all file.

but i fundamentally disagree with you on this one, and with all other remarks along the lines of 'it's only file having a bit of fun'. i think in principle, posting under someone else's actual username is completely out of line.

i always use my own identity. so does andrew BTW.

maybe this makes a difference, maybe not.

i've been tempted to do all manner of things. the point is, you haven't defended river plate in my name, nor arsenal in bd's... if you had, perhaps we would be having this discussion about that.

i don't think file should be flogged in the public square or anything of the sort. i just want to make my own position clear. i have total empathy with andrew's reaction.

that's all.

The All Powerful Lord Ebren said...

As someone who has used the odd pseudonym here - I think I can defend the process when it is done in jest, or with good intentions, as long as it is only done with feelings considered.

Impersonating another pseud (rather than - say - Sir Derek Tannic-Stanza) is out of order.

I have left file's fake post up so we can have a discussion about it - but I will remove anything offensive people ask me to if impersonation, bullying, and general badness is complained about.

I thought I'd make that clear.



offsideintahiti said...


again, we agree. I never said "it's only file having a bit of fun". What I wanted to point out was that his primary intention was not to deceive and actually have us believe the post was from Andrew. He raised his hand and took his responsabilities.

I called it a mistake, you call it "out of line", I think we all agree it was a foul. Definitely worthy of a yellow, but, as a first offence, I don't think it should be a red for File and, although I understand that it hurts, I don't think the injury is so serious that Andy can't come back to the game after applying an ice-pack for a few minutes.

We all know what happens after a harsh foul and a yellow. If it's a bad game, tempers fly, more fouls, more yellows, then reds. If it's a good game, apology, handshake and get on with it.

I thought we were having a really good game so far...

file said...


I’ll preface this by apologizing for using Andrewm’s name, clearly I have stepped over a boundary and I was wrong to do so. Not a great respecter of boundaries or rules myself but I never intended to undermine anything on Pseuds’ and therefore I’ll willingly back down on this.

My intention was to shame Andrew into taking a more positive role but this has got lost in the ‘impersonation’ issue, my mistake, I admit it.

That said, it was never my intention to let it go as ‘impersonation’, I was fully prepared for Andrewm to pick up on it and then to expand on my reasons, which I did.

Btw the way the term impersonation is only then accurate in the same way that ‘Spitting Image’, Rory Bremner or The Simpsons ‘impersonate’/take the piss out of well known figures – with credits at the end.

I owned up to it of my own accord (always my intention as stated above) and lest you be inclined to discount that think of “Scent of a Woman” and realize that if I hadn’t owned up to it we would not even be having this conversation.

In Andrews group email he says in para 1 “the last thing I want is to be the cause of any negativity” and in para 2 he says “I've been negative about the t-shirts and the book because I disagree with the principle”, again I have trouble reconciling this and unaware of his principled reasoning.

I’m quite happy to concede that as a relative newcomer here I am not aware of Andrews positive influence on this community, in the time I have been here the comments he has made have been mostly quite negative and snide. I’m also happy to accept that I just don’t get his sense of humour; perhaps I’m not alone in this. Though I would also point out that if I didn’t have Pseuds’ best interests at heart I wouldn’t bother to comment on perceived negativity.

I just don’t get how the 1.55 comment shows any good intention to positively develop this thread/ Psueds’/the book. Isn’t it a question for you to consider privately Andrew?

I perceive this and some of Andrews email as a threat; “do what I say or I go” and I don’t respond well to threats or bullying and unclear how it fits into a Pseuds’ ethos.

Most of us are not ‘professional writers’ here and it is a matter of some insecurity to post our work. Some folk spend time and thought on their pieces and the continued development of this site, this investment is only possible in a supportive and friendly environment. I really don’t understand how many of Andrews’s comments (in the last 2 months) have met those criteria.

Andrew dares not submit his writing, only in small comments, but he takes up his right to make his opinions known in often quite negative ways.

Folk should be able to comment (positively or negatively but hopefully constructively) without posting articles of course, but perhaps they should bear in mind that it is far, far easier to slap a line of comment than it is to create something interesting or entertaining for other Pseuds’. Perhaps just too easy…

I had intended my last comment on this matter to be my last (public) comment on this matter though as Marcela has directed her comment quite pointedly at me and I feel that it needs a response. Perhaps not all Pseuds’ are on the email chain either so I will post this and email it.

I’d suggest that Pseuds’ might want to draw a line under this as it is most definitely interfering in the book thread and site generally, To that end; Andrew I’m sorry if I caused you any offence, I have never used another Pseuds’ name before and never will again, you are welcome to use my moniker freely.

marcela said...

offside, love the analogy. yellow, hand shake and play on is what gets my vote too.

also think we should move on but a quick clarification to file: my comment was precisely NOT about you or what you did in this instance but rather about making my feelings known because it is something that could happen at any point, involving anyone.

that is why i thought it pertinent to say now, i don't like it.
so apologies to you, file, if you feel i have addressed my discomfort too personally in your direction.

absolutely not.

as to how negative or positive andrew is, or how much you rate his comments, that's exactly the kind of banter we should be indulging in... :)

in my perception of this whole thing, which is obviously very personal and therefore subjective, this community grew out of a small group of bloggers on the gu site who bonded over time and particularly so when deletions and bannings marked a point in which a sense of solidarity and loyalty among a few lead us to branch out...

andrewm was at the centre of this 'movement'.

i often don't agree with him, and have been outspoken even on GU threads about trying to curb some of his humour - :) - but i wouldn't want to lose him.

for the record, there was a time on GU when posters were 'posting under' (if you prefer it to 'impersonating' which i used just as shorthand) the names of sean ingle and barry glendenning.

i thought that was totally out of order as well.

i have to go now so any lack of replies from me is simply due to that. i'm still in the game if anyone will have me (!) and look forward to catching up with the latest episode of the rabid CL this evening...

Zephirine said...

Offside at 12.28: good comment.

offsideintahiti said...

And just to make things clear, I don't see myself as the referee here and I won't be seen whistling and handing out yellow cards.

I'm not the physio either and I don't claim to be able to assess the extent of Andy's injury from here. I just hope it's not serious and that he'll be able to go on with the season and the rest of his illustrious career, if not this particular game.

offsideintahiti said...

I also promise to stop with the football analogies before someones waves a red in my direction.

guitougoal said...

"show me a hero and i will write you a tragedy"F.Scott Fitzgerald.
I am glad you apologized because another new name and I am lost, my memory play tricks after an operation of thinking.
t-shirts? which t-shirts, i didn't know there was a t-shirts issue and if, who cares, it's history anyway.For dog and cat sake don't change your name, pseuds without Andrew it's like france without wine, Italy without music and hoops! i hear marcela and offside laughing, for the life of pseuds could you stop

metatron said...

great Scott F. quote G

offside said...

OK, now that the matter is cleared up *cough*, let's see about the book.

The idea would never have occurred to me and I'm perfectly happy with the website/blog as it is.

Having said that, I have absolutely nothing against it either.

I can't offer any editorial expertise and can spare very little time in the next few weeks. I also agree that it will be practically impossible to please everyone, and since too many crooks will boil the broch, as they say in Scotland, a small editorial team would work best. Zeph, Mimi, Ebren, Mouth, Doc and maybe a couple of others seem to want to make this happen and so are probably best qualified. It would be great if both Andy and File joined them and worked together on this, but that's up to them.

I won't send a favourites list. I'm sure the best articles will more or less pick themselves and, in case of a glaring omission, there will always be the next volume. Whatever the outcome, I will not complain and I will buy one copy regardless of whether I'm in it or not. I don't think I can flog any on my French and Tahitian speaking friends.

Comments: good luck with that. I suppose some of them could be included. Feel free to use anything I might have written on any thread, taproom included, as you see fit. I'm not ashamed of any of it.

I trust you blindly.

Have fun.

guitougoal said...

bravo, i drink to that , Mojito please.File can be a pain in the neck sometimes, but I found him in the street of Vienne when he was a baby-never taught him good maners I have none-but he can spell bee in Rangoon on any given day- if only he could spare us the little gicky illustrations he is using for his trademark-
The pseuds book, i may help you by keeping doing T-shirts, because you could give a free t-shirt to each buyer of 2 copies of your compilation-permission to print my quotes? if you guys are suicidal make my day! Love is in the air.....

file said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
bluedaddy said...

Jeez guys, looks like the Daddy needs to come round and spank a few bottoms!

You can’t make an omelette without breaking legs:

Firstly, Pseuds is a written environment. There are going to be misunderstandings of what people write. Often the quick, off the cuff stuff is what makes a thread zing, but without those non-verbal spices that mean so much in the face-to-face world, some remarks are going to need a bit of salt to be pinched while consuming. Humour, especially irony or sarcasm, is particularly difficult to do while maintaining clarity.

Secondly, your blog moniker should definitely be sacrosanct. File has acknowledged this, apologised, and would like to move on (whilst asking for his original point to receive consideration). This is civilised behaviour in my book. I think we agree that ID-hopping is not – even in jest.

Saying that, WHAT we call ourselves is not that important – GreenGayeGrassyBrooks are proof of that – who we are and what we do is what is important. I have never had a problem picking up Brooksie from his first posting under each new moniker, because there is no change of personality (though I do love it when he is feeling especially spiky and/or sparring with BarryG). He is who he is – like it or loathe it.

So feel free to change your moniker AndrewM, but I will warn you File that, short of ODing on some happy pills or finally wooing Marcela [I seem to recall AndrewM was there first:0)], AndrewM is a self-confessed ‘glass half empty’ man who will no more think ‘Fuck It, I’ll Just Dive In’ than he would concede Riquelme is the most important Argentine player since Diego M himself. (Please correct me and don’t take offence if I am wrong on this AM). That is who he is and that is who he should be on Pseuds. You are free to engage with, and criticise, him File, and I would encourage you to do so, and indeed would join you if I saw fit. I’m pretty sure I have winged the odd ‘Cheer Up FFS!’ in his direction once or twice.

Re his contributions - us GU old timers know AndrewM’s style is more staccato than legato (had to look the second one up). Again, each to his/her own.

But people have got to be allowed to say what they feel. Andrew, you are usually quite happy to fight your corner in a thread, and I would have advised/preferred you to continue this on the blog itself [AndrewM has circulated an email to some regulars]. There is little to be gained by storming off, and a lot to be lost, and a blog offers the perfect (if public) medium for considered replies just as it does for riffs of the top of the head.

Now I’m off to cook that omelette,


PS I take it this ‘Book Deal?’ thread isn’t going in the book Ebren?

bluedaddy said...

Jeez guys, looks like the Daddy needs to come round and spank a few bottoms!

You can’t make an omelette without breaking legs:

Firstly, Pseuds is a written environment. There are going to be misunderstandings of what people write. Often the quick, off the cuff stuff is what makes a thread zing, but without that non-verbal spices that mean so much in the face-to-face world, some remarks are going to need a bit of salt to be pinched while consuming. Humour, especially irony or sarcasm, is particularly difficult to do while maintaining clarity.

Secondly, your blog moniker should definitely be sacrosanct. File has acknowledged this, apologised, and would like to move on (whilst asking for his original point to receive consideration). This is civilised behaviour in my book. I think we agree that ID-hopping is not – even in jest.

Saying that, WHAT we call ourselves is not that important – GreenGayeGrassyBrooks are proof of that – who we are and what we do is what is important. I have never had a problem picking up Brooksie from his first posting under each new moniker, because there is no change of personality (though I do love it when he is feeling especially spiky and/or sparring with BarryG). He is who he is – like it or loathe it.

So feel free to change your moniker AndrewM, but I will warn you File that, short of ODing on some happy pills or finally wooing Marcela [I seem to recall AndrewM was there first:0)], AndrewM is a self-confessed ‘glass half empty’ man who will no more think ‘Fuck It, I’ll Just Dive In’ than he would concede Riquelme is the most important Argentine player since Diego M himself. (Please correct me and don’t take offence if I am wrong on this AM). That is who he is and that is who he should be on Pseuds. You are free to engage with, and criticise, him File, and I would encourage you to do so, and indeed would join you if I saw fit. I’m pretty sure I have winged the odd ‘Cheer Up FFS!’ in his direction once or twice.

Re his contributions - us GU old timers know AndrewM’s style is more staccato than legato (had to look the second one up). Again, each to his/her own.

But I have to endorse Gary/MOTM’s (and indeed File’s) point that people have got to be allowed to say what they feel (and I don’t think AndrewM’s saying otherwise in his email). Andrew, you are usually quite happy to fight your corner in a thread, and I would have advised/preferred you to continue this on the blog itself. There is little to be gained by storming off, and a lot to be lost, and a blog offers the perfect (if public) medium for considered replies just as it does for riffs of the top of the head.

Now I’m off to cook that omelette,


PS I take it the ‘Book Deal?’ thread isn’t going in the book Ebren?

Ebren said...

I dunno bd - there would be something wonderfully post modern about including this thread...

only about two people have emailed me suggestions so far so there's not a lot of choice.

mimi said...

I'm tired. All the time I'd intended to spend on thinking about a short-list or other book related topics has evaporated in this, whatever you might wish to call it, a sort of spat. I'm sad. I don't like conflict of any sort. I hope when I come back tomorrow all will be resolved. So many lovely people here at the Corner. So sad if bad vibes.

DoctorShoot said...

since bad vibes define good vibes it's ok to go down and so come up again.

post-post-modern self reflection may determine this thread as a preface to the introductory comments on the CD of comments / threads preamble, so, with my usual apologies for typos etc..:

(great no comment File!!)

I have to own up to the 11.15am filethehumble posting... and the shameless self promotion involved therein...

I am not skilled or experienced in any way as regards selection of pieces on merit for publication. Editorial prowess is one of those things I look at through the plate glass window and think: "shucks I wish I had that".. though shucks is a word I usually reserve for quoting others...

I don't even know if it's about theme, skill, difference, length, universality, je-ne-sais-quoi, cultural trenchancy,... lordy lordy I am not up to the dizzy heights of editorial differentiation:


14 of my favs in no particular order and for no reason I can easily explain, - and lots and lots of brilliant stuff not in the list of course:

- The Curse of Commentators - godlovesatheists ... the alienated and the alienating

- Istanbul or bust - Ebren ... turkey and the building of colossal icons

- 100 years of the TT - MouthoftheMersey ... unadulterated passion and the most fun you can have with your clothes on

- Milkmaids…? by Zephirine ... examination of the stool and it's gift to the world

- Want to kick the old possum skin around? by levremance ... I hope it's true Levre cause I quote you to loads of ppl...

- Footballers – HannibalBrooks ... triumph of imagination and the kitchen table

- Reverse Angle: Match report from the other hemisphere - offsideintahiti ... the price of the boots repaid

- No time for games - nestaquin ... getting down and gritty

- Abide with me - duncan23 ... you can't stop the music

- Not a Boxing Classic - file ... writing about boxing and writing

- Ernest and The Boxer by “The Boxer” ... boxing on about writing

- Realism does not talk of Rainbows - leeroycal ... something haunting about that one

- Chanelle, Titi and la règle hors-jeu - Zepherine ... like, so miss I know whats on and that

- I love Lycra by Mimitig - mimitig ... information and from the heart

levremance said...

Done a bit of traipsin round, here's some links I thought may be of interest:

A review:;953556743;fp;4194304;fpid;1

Lulu Product FAQ's:

Lulu Royalty FAQ's:

Lulu Publishing 5 steps:

What crossed my mind is that we could all publish our own books, you pick your fave's and with the authors consent you save what you like to Word in the required format and upload to Lulu.

Then, if you wish, let the readers of the Corner know about it and they can buy direct from Lulu (who take 20% btw).

This would avoid a lot of the whats in, whats not in discussion and its so cheap you could buy a number of books. I put in a 200 page paperback into the calculator, one copy, price US$8.43 plus P& H. I think I'm gunna re-start my great Australian novel again...

Great F Scott quote Guitou.

levremance said...

Book formatting on Lulu:

levremance said...

Lulu basics (probably should have put this one up first):

From Lulu:

How does Lulu make money? Is this a scam?
Our revenue comes from a small commission on the profits of each item sold. Lulu only makes money if you do.
As a creator, you set the amount of Creator Revenue on the items you publish. The Lulu commission is 25% of the Creator Revenue you set (or 19¢, whichever is greater). The Lulu commission therefore equals 20% of the total profit of each item sold.
For example, if your Creator Revenue is $4.00, we add a $1.00 Lulu commission. The total profit from the item is $5.00.
$1.00 is 25% of $4.00 (your Creator Revenue) and 20% of $5.00 (the total profit).
This leaves 80% of the total profit to you, the creator! In traditional publishing, it's rare for an author to see even 20% of the total markup.
Because we support the free and open exchange of information, if you decide not to get a Creator Revenue, we also waive our commission. The selling price of your printed book, calendar, CD or DVD will be its production cost only; download versions are free.

Here's an e.g. if retailing the book:
6" x 9", B&W, Perfect Bound, 200 pgs, US $:
Creator royalty $2.00
Lulu royalty $0.50
Manufacturing cost $5.50
Retail markup $8.00
Total $16.00

Zeph said...

Can of worms alert! What do we do with the money if we make any? Perhaps we should opt for the 'no Creator Revenue' option - Lord Ebren, was this what you had in mind?

Ebren said...

Put the can down - and step away from the worms...

I'll have you know that we have made almost US$18.50 in advertising revenue to date - and I don't think it will stop there.

I'm planning to retire on the interest.

The odds on us making any money at all are very low - I have always maintained we would buy a present for Sean Ingle at the GU sportsblog to thank him for bringing us all together and making this all possible.

After that there was talk of a fund for a bloggers convention in Tahiti...

marcela said...

why don't we just give sean a copy of the book as a present thereby increasing our chances of flying business to bora bora...

Ebren said...

Because every sports editor wants to read more articles about sport (especially when he has read many of them already) in their time off...

Keep the votes coming people - so far only four people have voted for their faves, and 12 articles have been mentioned by all of them with another 26 mentioned by at three.

More input needed...

Zeph said...

Yes, we give Sean Ingle an insufferably classy and elegant present AND a copy of the book.

guitougoal said...

do not sell the bear skin till you kill the bear-

mimi said...

Wise words Guitou.

grizzly said...


mimi said...

A few pieces leapt out at me while I was trawling to find my shortlist, and this is where I am now. Being extremely immodest, i start with one of mine:
I love Lycra - mimi
One more river - docshoot
milkmaids - zeph
In good time - mouth
The day the music died - kokomo
A text from Shane - lev
Any of the Chantelle/Chanelle dispatches - zeph
Any of the MV tapes - mimi and mouth
The woodcutters revolution - nestaquin
The world of the velodrome - mimi
At home with Duckworth and Lewis - seph
Through the looking-glass - ebren
A passionate prawn sandwich fan - iddy
Is football tart - file
Hurray, fantastic we love it - margin
Branston Rabids - but have one have all.
I may find more later, but that's my starting point.

mimi said...

Oh and there is a really brill one from Offy but I need more time to find it. Dog - Ebes - where's the search on this site???

Ebren said...

Dog above mimi - there are drill downs on the right-hand side of the site (those little triangles that when you click on them open up the week's archive). You can open all of them at once and read through.

Offy's only written two articles (and contributed about 3 quadrillion posts). Reverse angle and Tahiti Nui Va'a. Both are superb.

So far file and andrewm are the only people not to nominate any of their own work

DoctorShoot said...

I avoided nominating any of mine in my 12.26 post above but regret that now:))XO==[ (smiling fat man with arms crossed in regret on two long legs)

are you OK for posts here or do you want list emailed.?

mimi said...

Well, dog above, ebren, forgive me for being so stupid - must be having a lycra moment. But I've trawled and I can't find the one from Offy that I would add to my list. Must have been back in April, I think, and fantastic descriptions of the landscape as a backdrop to his story. If you know which I mean, then just add it to my list.

Ebren said...

Offy's posts



Doc - can't believe I missed them. Will now add your votes.

I'd prefer they were emailed as long lists make it harder to scroll though threads like these. But anyone who wants to share their favourite posts with others here is welcome to.

mimi said...

Ebren - that's the one: Reverse angle. Had me basking in non-existant sunlight. Can you add that to my list?
Thank you.
And I still haven't worked out how to have my name in blue so proving it's the me Mimi. But it's late, and maybe I'll work it out later.

Ebren said...

Thought I'd make a quick point here:

We have a book to fill. Chanelle is a series that I'm putting in. As is the M Vaughn tapes (possibly both with a little context for each so they make sense after the fact).

The Rabids - not a complete series yet and I might hold off until the denouement before making a call.

I might put in the [t]art series as well - haven't decided.

bluedaddy said...

Been having a few problems posting. I suspect ghosts in my machine.

Not easy to trawl through past posts as old dates take ages to load then disappear if I visit a post then click back. Am I being dense?

Re including comments or not. If you read BBB's ace piece on Pippo Inzaghi, it is superb, stands up on it's own without a doubt. But AndrewM's first comment takes it up two notches just like that.

It's a good thread and would be a shame to miss the rest of it from the book, but it would be criminal to miss AndyM's comment.

mimi said...

Feeling hugely embarrassed really about writing this, but actually, having just spent more time trawling the archives, the piece Mouth and I did Blogaholics with its comments wouldn't be too bad as an intro alongside the very first sets of comments on the creation of the site.

bluedaddy said...

Bloody hard to pick (esp as is so hard to look) but from memory: Iddy's Prawn sandwich, Offy's two, BBB's Pippo as above, Duncan's Abide with Me, Brooksie's Invented footy game, Mimi's cycling in London, Marcela's Diego film biog piece, 'The Boxer' on Hemingway (good comments thread), woodcutters by nesta, chanelle series, Vaughan Tapes, Duck/Lewis, Margin is always good to read, kokomo on sheffield city (or something). There's stacks more but I cant see them at the mo.

Zeph said...

Mimi, I just had a look at that blogaholics piece, yes, it's really good - and there's a wonderful comment by Honolulu:

"Hello, my name is honolulu and I, too, am an addict.
It has been over a year since I first sent a comment to the Fiver and I have relished every wasted second since."

Yep, says it all.

bluedaddy said...

Zeph/mimi, can you post a link to blogaholics coz I cant search for the oldest threads on the sidebar. I just get a 'loading' message.

levremance said...

Link BD, search worked with 'anonymous' but not 'blogaholics' ?? dunno why

hers's my list, apol's to those I haven't rediscovered yet:

Duckworth/Lewis (apr29) – Zeph
Its not just a game (apr3) – Paulita
Argentinos Juniors (may9) – Eric
Dock Ellis (mar31) – Duncan
Evolution baby (may17) – File
Ernest (may30) – the boxer
Things would never be the same (jun1) – Zeph
No time for games (may15) – nesta
Brave new game (mar2) – Mouth
Tahiti nui va’a (mar1) – offside
Big game fishing (may25) – docshoot
A text from shane? (mar30) – levremance
chantelle and Alisha and the Fredalo – zeph
MV tapes after the loss “try and find the fucking positives in that” – Mouth and Mimi
And the one post-fredalo “put the can down Freddy” – M&M
Maradona – Marcela

DoctorShoot said...

with fun between ebren, GG,andrewm, etc..:

2nd (on names and olivier being offside??):

3rd: Ebren's piece on the famous robbery, a little on Sean Ingle (and did he ever post one here??_):

levremance said...

Brave new game by tonyellis above - should re-read before I post i spose

bluedaddy said...

Thanks lev. It'll be the blogo not bloga that got me.

My favourite line was reemgear's:

'It's just a bit of football for me, nothing I can't deal with - it's normal'.

Zeph said...

At the moment, I think Blogaholics should be in as an article, and the best introduction would be Ebren's first 'It lives' post with all the comments.

Short, insane, and sums up the spirit of the place, I feel.

offside said...

Insane is right. And it seems to introduce a theme that reappears later in the... oh, hum. Sorry.

Ebren said...

Hmmm - I was just going to write an intro for the book.

Also possibly a cast list to go with the contents at the front - to help make benefit glorious readers of book (who won't know the back story)


andrewm - Scottish blogger of good repute, attractive to cats. In love with Marcela and other exotics including offside. Sadly they are not cats.

offside: loin-cloth-clad, cocktail sipping Frenchman. Exiled from France at first to Ireland, he eventually got an upgrade to Tahiti - where his charicteristic dress attracted fewer comments.


I'd let you write your own (probably).

offsideintahiti said...

No, no, Ebren. I really couldn't have done it better myself. Spot on.

Zeph said...

No, maybe you should write them Ebren!

Incidentally I just re-read your franglais synopsis of 'Speed', it made me giggle all over again.

Ebren said...

Can't claim credit for that Ms Zeph ("Lyrical screen icon and regular at London's more fasionable nightspots - Pseuds' corners' connection to the world of celebrity. Yet to understand sports other than cricket unless they involve milking things"). It's nicked from Eddie Izzard.

Zeph said...

What, all of it? Naturally I recognised the influence of 'le singe est dans l'arbre' but I thought it was your own riff.

(I'll happily accept the description, though any real celebrity I've ever met would undoubtedly mock and sneer. "Who the f'ack is she?" they would cry.)

Ebren said...

Nicked it (and altered it a bit to be fair, although not much) from here

Zeph said...

Well, as Will Shakespeare used to say, if you're gonna steal, steal from the best...

mimi said...

Agree that Ebren should write the cast list descriptions.

guitougoal said...

le singe est dans l'arbre, but,
-avez vous lavé la cueillère?- if you use the masculin instead or don't pronounce perfecto, it could become a very personal question-

Ebren said...

Well I'm buggered! That explains so much.

I'm struggling with the cast list.

I'll post it later on today/this week along with the nominated articles (and links to them).

You can comment then.

So get emailing your suggestions or miss out on having your say.

mimi said...

Buggered or not, and Lord Ebren, do you really have to share so much with us????!!!
I look forward to your next step in this process. Of course I'll be devastated if my work doesn't feature on the shortlist, but even if not a chosen one, am still offering my services on editorial or proofing - and having trawled some of the suggestions, there's a shed load of proofing for simple stuff that needs doing.

mimi said...

there's a shed load of proofing for simple stuff that needs doing.

Whoops, sorry, all that came out a bit wrong. Didn't mean it to sound critical - and I've found howlers in my stuff after publication so include myself in those who would benefit every now and then for the eye not of the creator!

marcela said...

i haven't read everything on pseuds and i've re-read some early pieces in the last few days.

i have never read something i haven't thought was good here, and that's saying something.

it seems one of the great assets of the site is the mix of styles, voices, topics and narratives. the match reports, for instance, were such a good run - offy's, duncan's, eric's ... and the pipita and paulita's two sides of the same coin. marvellous. a really interesting use of the medium (a blog).

there is too much i like and too many good comments on the threads. i don't envy the task of selecting among such a good crop.

how many words is everything published so far?

and if the book is aimed as an end of year souvenir, a xmas extravaganza, what will happen to articles published between now and then?

re possible artwork for the cover, check out the artist in our midst's blog

you'll have to scroll down and enter old archives for the artwork, but some of it is sensational. if a little whacky.

file said...

wow Yrsa

some amazing art! Unique, as far as I know and spellbinding

good call Marcela

file said...

this is a great pic from Yrsa's site:

but I like the charts, radars and abstracts like:

tho this might look good on a cover:

tho Messi, it's not strictly football

fascinating site for real, hope you don't mind me linking directly to the picks for the more temporally challenged pseuds', really really don't want to upset anyone else

marcela said...

no, i'm glad you could do it.

i kept losing the url when i tried.

glad you liked it :)

Yrsa Roca Fannberg said...

Uips, here I am.
I would be delighted to do the cover :)
And of course I would buy the book.
I hope to make some more stuff, the hand ball is a bit crap, perhaps I will retry. Wanted to make something cubist. Ha ha ha.

mimi said...

And where are we in practical terms? Sorry to drag all back, but do we have any consensus on anything?

Zeph said...

Mimi: Ebren is going to post a list for comments - see above.

Tweet it, digg it